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Looking like a ghost...or a hooker

Tuesday, January 07, 2014

My appearance has changed drastically of the past month with the second form of chemo I am doing. I'm basically bald now and have lost pretty much all of my eyelashes and most of my eyebrows. Without make-up I feel like I look like a ghost. Here's a picture of me from yesterday morning without makeup.

Today, I decided to practice putting on false eyelashes and darkening what is left of my eyebrows. After I got done with that, I put on my free wig from Vanderbilt. Here's what I looked like after I got done playing around with make-up today.

The picture doesn't really show how heavy-handed the eye makeup looks. My husband said, "It doesn't look bad." For him, that amounts to a compliment. I do need more practice, but it's okay for a first attempt...particulary if I want to be a hooker.

In a dimly lit room with my glasses on, it would look ok. All this makes me very impressed with people that can wear false eyelashes and make them look natural. I'm not sure how often I'll go to the trouble of putting on false eyelashes, but it's nice to know I have the option (particularly if I stay in dimly lit places).

In a lot of ways, I feel very fortunate to be getting chemo. Even though it's taking it's toll on my hair, chemo is giving me the best chance of getting rid of my triple negative type of breast cancer.

So what if my choices for the next few months are ghost or hooker. This second type of chemo seems to be kicking cancer to the curb. As much as it is changing my appearance on the outside, it's doing very important things in the inside. My tumor has shrunk so much that I can no longer feel it at all. That is awesome as far as I'm concerned.

I can live with looking like a ghost or a hooker for the next few months. That's no big deal in the grand scheme of things in my book.

emoticon or emoticon (SparkPeople doesn't really have a hooker emoticon, this is as close as I could get)

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow - you really still are very and full of life! You don't look as tired as you must feel :)
    1576 days ago
    You're a beauty - inside and out!
    1581 days ago
    Kay, you look strikingly beautiful in both pictures! And the joy in your pretty smile is palpable :) In the second picture, you look like a very young version of Julie Andrews, circa her "Sound of Music" era - you are gorgeous! Congratulations!!
    1583 days ago
    I find you very beautiful on both pics. Your smile looks great, with and without make up.
    1585 days ago
    Hooker?! Where?! I know about the make-up. I never wear make-up. To put on as many layers that we doing chemo have to put on, it feels like we are prepping for the streets! You look beautiful no matter what you do. Yesterday, the last of my hair on my head fell out in clumps. I didn't know if could come out that much, that fast. Freaked me out. The Q-ball is here and highly poslished!
    1589 days ago
    That smile is it, no matter what the "look"! And I agree that you neither look like a ghost or a hooker. So there.
    1590 days ago
    You don't look like a hooker, you're beautiful!
    1590 days ago
    Kay, this is the best blog I've ever read on SP! I think you look great either way, BTW. Personally I have no idea how to put false eyelashes on, so I guess I'll never make a good hooker -- or showgirl for that matter.

    We all need makeup, my darling Kay. I see my face falling every day when I get up. And that hooker emoticon. C'mon, that's genius!
    1591 days ago
    You look terrific!
    And I'm glad that you're getting good news.

    I'm wishing the best for you.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1591 days ago
    You judge yourself too harshly - you are looking good!
    1592 days ago
    Oh Kay, you don't look like a hooker....far too understated of a makeup
    job for that....but you are beautiful either way.

    I do like your wig though and if I keep losing my hair I may be calling
    you for a reference for myself....

    You have such a great sense of humor and that is important in this

    Love and hugs,
    1592 days ago
    You look beautiful either way! And it won't be much longer that you will be done with the chemo, and the hair will start growing back. emoticon
    1592 days ago
    Beautiful lady, I wish you health. You absolutely do not look like a hooker or a ghost in these photos.

    (Maybe a little less makeup to feel a little more natural next time if it feels like too much, though it looks fine from here.)
    1592 days ago
  • BTRX71
    You look beautiful. Glad to hear your tumor is losing ground because of the chemo. emoticon
    1592 days ago
  • MISSG180
    You're doing really great!
    1592 days ago
    emoticon You go girl!!
    1592 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1592 days ago
    Haha you made me laugh with the whole hooker thing! You look great with or without makeup! Your attitude is amazing and I think that is what really counts.

    1592 days ago
    You look good in both pictures! In the first, there's an energy shining through that can't be defeated.
    1592 days ago
    Hi beautiful Kay!

    You know that I think you are gorgeous au'naturel OR with your makeup and I certainly don't think you look like a hooker. There was a time back in the day I didn't go to the GROCERY store without my eyelashes on. They have one's that have an invisible strip and are very natural looking. Practice makes perfect but...the best way to put them on is bending them a few times in the shape of your eyelid to sort of break them in. Make sure they aren't too long for the eye. Trim from the OUTSIDE edge because the inner edge that goes near your nose is the shorter lashes. Apply the glue with a toothpick sparingly...then bend them again to get them sort of in the shape of your eye. Use a magnifying mirror and either look down or straight on..whichever feels more natural to you. Adjust. Then here's the secret...seal them along the edge after they are in place again with a thin strip of glue.

    You will love them...hows that for eyelash application 101? emoticon Good luck my sweet are a beauty rare! emoticon
    1592 days ago
    I think you look beautiful Kay! Awesome news that your tumour is shrinking! I think you are showing so much courage as you go through this experience! I love your positive attitude/outlook and know that this will contribute to your recovery!!!!!!!

    1592 days ago
    You look beautiful before & after. You have an amazing smile that lights up your whole face & bright, expressive eyes.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1593 days ago
    You look great and I love your positive attitude. Maybe you can start a SP petition to get a hooker icon added- JK! emoticon Good luck with your journey. You are amazing.
    1593 days ago
  • WILDKAT781
    Well, I've never met a ghost and I've only seen a hooker from a pretty good distance and none of them were even half as pretty as you! You're right - the most important thing is getting well and beating cancer. But I think you are looking awesome in the process. Perhaps the picture doesn't show how "heavy -handed" it is but from here you look great...and I love that wig!

    1593 days ago
    You look great!!
    1593 days ago
    I think you look great in both pics! You have a nice, healthy smile. So glad to hear that the tumor is shrinking!

    Take care of yourself!
    1593 days ago
    Wow! You're wig and your makeup looks absolutely beautiful! No one can even tell you're going through chemo! You rock! Sending you lots of hugs!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1593 days ago
    The top photo looks like every woman in my county wearing their very warmest hat to stay warm on the ski slopes!

    I love the wig in the 2nd photo! I wouldn't know a hooker if I ran smack dab into one, so I can't comment on that. All I see is your beautiful smile & pretty eyes and that you've shared the greatest challenge you've probably ever faced with me and I really, really think you're wonderful.

    So don't go diss-in' my friend, Kay, all right? She beautiful in my eyes! emoticon
    1593 days ago
    emoticon indeed!
    1593 days ago
    I like both looks your a pretty woman can't hide those features no matter what !! Glad the tumor is shrinking WooHoo !!
    1593 days ago
    You look great! I'm so glad the chemo is working.
    1593 days ago
    You look Beautifully emoticon emoticon
    1593 days ago
    It's what's inside that counts!!

    I think your makeup looks fine but if you aren't happy, I wonder if there's a place that show you some makeup tricks or there's probably some info online.

    Keep moving on that positive path. Your emoticon is at the end. emoticon
    1593 days ago
    You are beatiful either way!
    1593 days ago
    What I see is a woman that has a fantastic smile and you look healthy to me. especially considering all that your body has endured. YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL !!! so so thankful that the tumor is shrinking so well. I too agree a few months of looking diff. is so worth it and hey don't look like any hooker I have seen. Hmmm have I seen any that I knew were hookers LOL

    1593 days ago
    Kay, your face - in both pics - looks so healthy. Honestly, I like the natural photo as well. I've picked up some eyelashes lately, but am very uncoordinated around my eyeballs and not to be trusted with glue. (smiling) My own lashes are rather wimpy, but I pile high on the mascara and that works fine. I am so happy to hear that the tumor has shrunk out of town and disappeared. Hope all the cancer cells follow suit. Wishing you wonderful things in 2014.
    1593 days ago
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