The Girl Within Me
Tuesday, January 07, 2014
I've noticed something about myself lately...I still think I'm that 320+ pound girl that I was a few years ago. I still get nervous about trying new things. I wonder if people will stop, stare and laugh at me. I wonder if I'd make a fool out of myself. I wonder if I'd feel ashamed afterwards. I wonder a lot of things when I ponder trying something new. The truth is that has always been something I've done. That has not changed.
what has changed though is me. I'm almost 70lbs lighter yet I still think along the same lines as that 320lb girl I used to be. After a LONG debate with myself I finally hauled myself to a Zumba class...yikes! Here I am, still overweight snd going into a dance class where I'll jiggle for all to see.
Guess what? I had a great time. I didn't know all the moves. I couldn't shimmy my butt the way some of those women could but I was in there doing my best and I had fun. The woman next to me said that as long as I kept moving I'd be fine and I'd get it next time.
I went back for a 2nd class the next day.
Here's the thing. Sometimes it takes our mind and thought process a lot longer yo catch up to where our bodies are in this journey. There are times when I look in the mirror and I still see that 320+ pound woman. There are times when I still mentally beat myself up because I'm so over weight. Sometimes I just need to stand there, in front of the mirror and remind myself just how far I've come.
in losing almost 70lbs this woman that I'm starring at had stepped out of her comfort zone many times to defeat old demons. Ive made both the new me and the old me very proud. I've completed 5k's, 10k's, 2 half marathons, lodt nearly 70lbs, taken aqua classes, zumba classes and started running. I'm even contemplating completing my first full marathon early in 2015. These are things I never even dreamed about at 320lbs.
so while on occasion I still have the mentality of the 320lb woman...she is extremely proud of the woman she is today.