_COSMOPAULATAN_
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A Spark Team for Those People Who Want To Focus on What Is Going Right

Saturday, January 04, 2014

We'd all be lying if we said that getting healthy is awesome every moment of the journey because it's not. It's tough choices, dedication and sacrifice, and snippets of glory and then the challenge of negotiating "what is enough?" with yourself when society tells you it will never be enough.

I've been there. I am there. We all are. I find myself wanting to disconnect from people who are talking about all the negativity that goes along with the process of losing weight. If anything, I'm as much to blame as anyone. It's the easiest thing in the world to do, commiserate with someone about how you aren't where you want to be health-wise, or physically, or fitness-wise.

Misery loves company, but the thing is, I don't really want the company. It's hard enough drawing healthy boundaries with others to allow them to swim in their mental muck, but it's harder to stay there with them while they are drowning. It's exhausting trying to re-train your brain to be kinder about where I am at when others aren't following suit.

I have compassion and empathy and a lot of understanding because I've undone all of the hard work that I did. Completely undone it. But, I think there are two choices that I have. I can b*tch and moan about it, or I can just accept that it's where I am. I think it can and is that easy.

Did I regain the 60 pounds I lost? Yeah.
Can I run 13.1, 6.2, 3.1, or even 1 mile right now? No.
Did I lose my way? Yes.
Do I know why? No.
Is it the end of the world? No.
Does it sometimes feel like it's the end of the world? Yeah.

Ok. So I regained all my weight, got softer again, can't run like I used to. It's true. But it's where I am and what is the point of lamenting what isn't because of my own (unconscious) choices? Working through my therapy for my eating disorder has really shed light on the fact that my eating IS disordered. It's not the food, it's everything that I don't know how to address issues or cope with or talk about or feel emotionally that messes with my ability to be healthy. I don't think that the real change will come until I make peace with how I got to where I am and how I learned to live/survive.

So, it's where I came up with the idea of The Road to Redemption. I need to surround myself with people who willingly acknowledge what is going right in their journey instead of always focusing on what else needs to be improved on because Lord knows I do that enough in my brain to power a small country. Positivity begets positivity and a place that honors, understands and accepts you as you are in this moment is the kind of place that I need to be. If you are of a similar mindset, consider joining: www.sparkpeople.com/mysp
ark/groups_individual.asp?
gid=61741
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MYOWNHERO
    Yup. I regained some and then stalled for a loooong time. But I'm back at it. Turns out, the same tricks that worked before are working again. It's WORK, though, pure and simple.
    1708 days ago
  • DAUNTLESSDONNA
    There's a lot to be said for a positive mental attitude, especially when you need it the most and its easier to wallow. Good for you for fighting the good fight!
    1743 days ago
  • BILLIEK17
    I regained my weight too and it’s discouraging. I’m not giving up though. I still feel like through each “failure” I’ve learned something. Eventually all those things I’ve learned (I hope) will add up to a more consistently healthy way of eating (and subsequently, weight loss). You are most certainly not alone in your struggles.
    1769 days ago
  • BECOMESTRONGER
    This is fantastic! I feel you took the thoughts right outta my head. I'm joining the group.
    1778 days ago
  • GAMEON123
    So true. I too regained the weight I had once worked so hard to lose. And, beating myself up about it makes me feel paralyzed. To counter that, I recently posted all kinds of positive affirmations around me, at home and at work, and I'm trying to encourage myself rather than discourage. I just printed Sparkpeople's "9 Noteworthy Nutrition Goals for the New Year" as it is all about ADDING nutritional foods to my diet, and DOING things, like trying one new healthy recipe each week, to help me to head in the right direction. One thing I learned after I was diagnosed with a health condition is that when we stress about things, out body produces cortisol, which affects our body negatively. When we are happy and calm, we produce good hormones that then help our bodies. So, I'm really working on low stress, acceptance, encouragement in life. I really think you are on the right track !!
    1778 days ago
  • SOUTHPONDCAMP
    Love this. I've regained all my weight too...thankful didn't exceed my initial starting weight but stopped right at it. I've had some troubles in recent months...led to too much eating and drinking and not enough exercise. I knew what I was doing....but am frustrated by the actions nonetheless. Round and round...I'm back on an "up swing" and need to keep making better choices.
    1778 days ago
  • VEROISME
    Love this! As an empath, I absorb other people's energy way too easily. If left to my own devices, I am ridiculously positive, but other people's negaivity really affect me. I look forward to being part of this group. I just hope I remember posting in it!! :)

    1778 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

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