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A Melt Down...

Monday, December 30, 2013

Boy what a struggle I have been having, I don't know what happened to me at Christmas, but the flood gates opened and I ate everything I shouldn't have had.. It was like I was in a trance, my mind was saying "No Elaine" all my Spark went out the window, I gave in to everything , knowing full well what I was doing, and seemed helpless to stop it! It was like an inner demon at work one part of me wanting to get control, the other part just doing what it wanted! I know, no Excuses, but this had me mystified, I was stressed, and trying to keep the pace, all the parties, family gatherings, dinners etc..I went completely amok! emoticon

Well reality set in to the tune of a 4.5 lb gain over Christmas, I have many things going on in my mind, one of them is struggling to get my control back, I will start anew, and break those habits again, I did it once, I can do it again!

What happens? Why did I let myself go completely like that, my mind was in a whirl trying to cope with this behavior. It was a melt down, frustration was crushing me!
Today I started by removing ALL temptations out of the house, I made a list of things I was going to start again, to get back on track, the most important is logging my food, and portion control, I will start there! Back to 8 glasses of water a day, and at least 30 min exercise..I was doing a bit of exercise, but not enough!

I refuse to let this lapse in behavior get me down anymore I will get back to doing what I know should be done to be a healthier, happy person!

We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day. ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Thank you Spark friends for all your support.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CHRISSY518
    I can't count how many times I've done the same thing, and then wondered why it happened. Seems like there's two brains inside this head, one that knows what to do, and the other that just ignores all that and plows (literally) ahead into all the food I shouldn't eat. You can do it - loved your quote! emoticon
    1603 days ago
    "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a GIFT, that's why they call it the Present!!" I love that quote - because as Zig Ziglar says, "You can't saw the sawdust."

    What's done is done - there is no changing it. We can only go forward, hopefully learning from our..... lessons?? I don't really like the word mistake - it implies failure. Hopefully you will do better on the next holiday, but if not oh well. As long as you never give up you CANNOT fail!!

    For me I am choosing to enjoy the holidays but do my best to eat mindfully. However in the past couple of days I've done some indulging too. So? Back to eating mindfully - its the only choice now!!
    1604 days ago
    I gained quite a bit too as a result of a 2+week vacation at the end of December. But it's over, and now we are back to reality. I think we just have to come to grips with the fact that our weight will always fluctuate. As long as we jump back on the bandwagon and don't continue the evil ways, who cares? I've not gone up a pant size, the world hasn't ended. As long as I get busy, I think it's just fine. Don't beat yourself up -- you'll lose it in no time.
    1604 days ago
    You CAN do it! You made the year a success - you've lost about 14 lbs. Just imagine how much weight that really is - 10 lbs of potatoes plus 4 cans of beans. Its' HEAVY. And now you are going to get back on track and continue on that journey. Just think where you can be by Easter….by the time autumn comes….by next Christmas. You CAN do it …and you know that because you've done it before. emoticon


    1605 days ago
    You may not know what is going to happen when you try, but if you do not try, nothing will happen. Keep trying your best to control those inner cravings even when under stress. emoticon emoticon
    1605 days ago
    Every day is new with no mistakes in it...yet. Start today and look forward. emoticon emoticon
    1605 days ago
  • B-FLAT
    We all fall...glad to hear you got right back up!!
    1606 days ago
    I did the same thing. I have been doing a lot of emotional eating (from my seizure, to my hubby's cancer, to all of my different emotions) But something happened when I hit the highest weight I have ever been. I was not depressed like I use to be. I actually accepted it and started making changes, healthy changes. And the weight is starting to come off already. I know you can do this!!
    I wish you nothing but the best and most successful 2014!! Hugs my wonderful friend!! Love you!! emoticon (calorie free!! emoticon )
    1606 days ago
    I know exactly how you feel. Even though I've lost 120 pounds I put on 6 over the holidays. I got back on track yesterday and was down 1.3 of that this morning so some of it was just fluids in my tissues but I still have to get the other 4.7 off! We can do it! Just go back to those basics that did it before!

    :) Happy New Year! emoticon
    1606 days ago
    I love the quote about New Year's! Good for you for taking control of things and doing what you need to do. emoticon emoticon
    1606 days ago
  • DIANER2014
    You can do it! Happy New Year! emoticon
    1606 days ago
  • PEACH209
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1606 days ago
    I know how you feel. I gained last week too. I'm glad Christmas only comes once a year! The important thing was that you have realized what was happening and are taking steps to prevent it from continuing. emoticon
    1606 days ago
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