Caution Caution, Before reading this blog be aware that all that continues to read will endure my sappy version of 2013, my epiphanies and what 2014 could potentially have in store for me¡K..
You are still reading, I think that means you want to hear what I have to say ƒº I am very happy for all of my spark friends and that¡¦s where I want to begin this journey of New Year¡¦s resolutions and seeing myself for the first time. It all begins with the fact that people are obsessed with starting over at the beginning of the New Year or even the beginning of the week. I too fall victim to think that with every New Year there will be the hope of a better future and lifestyle for myself. I have put zero effort into any resolution I have truly ever set and thinking back my resolutions were never truly attainable. What I can tell you about this year is that I started to become who I am meant to be. For the first time in my life today I saw myself¡Kfor what I really look like. I have always known (and the scale reminds me too) that I am a 300 plus girl but when I look in the mirror I don¡¦t see that. I see a beautiful smile and someone that believes in more than weight. What that means is that I have never truly seen myself or have hidden behind pictures that involve anything but my charming face and cleavage (that¡¦s one thing I can commend for being bigger ƒº). What I saw today stopped me in my tracks¡Kwas I really that girl in those photos taken just this July? I look huge, incredibly huge and I never KNEW. Like I guess I rationalized in my head that I was bigger but I didn¡¦t know I was that big.
So is this where the story ends? NO! I realized that by seeing myself today, I need help. I need support, guidance, love and a miracle. I know this goal is achievable, many have shown me with your constant fitness minute updates, blogs, nsvs and food posts.
So here¡¦s what I plan for 2014 and I know it¡¦s a long haul but I plan to make every single effort to put forth these dreams.
1) Let go of the past- Don¡¦t allow what happened to you to hold you back from achieving your goals (we have all had our own personal tragedies but this goal is physical/emotional/mental for me)
2) Allow yourself to be alone-it¡¦s ok to be alone-I definitely don¡¦t need a man and being alone will allow me to clear the space that I need to recreate myself this year.
3) Don¡¦t be so harsh to yourself about the three digits you see on the scale-it isn¡¦t a necessary matter of life or death but be kind and stay hopeful/motivated.
4) Try some new forms of workout/exercise-Allow yourself to break out of your comfort zone so that you can find your passion and your calling so that working out doesn¡¦t feel like a chore.
5) Make things a habit-they say it takes 21 whole days to make things a habit or second nature¡KKeep at it don¡¦t give up with small slip ups.
6) Don¡¦t be afraid to dream- dream big girl! Stop putting your career on hold out of fear, go brave and take chances¡Kwe only regret the things we never tried
7) Let go of clutter- whether it be old friends who mean nothing to you or all those material items that serve no purpose to you¡Klive a clean fresh slate.
8) Get in those exercises-I have seriously slacked at working out lately and it has made me miserable, depressed and mopey. Take care of your body so it can take care of you..4 times a week at least 30 minutes.
9) Get your own space-Clear yourself of a family that refuses to see your brilliantness and your shining star quality. Otherwise you will only be held back from all of said above goals
10) Sleep beautiful sleep-Sleeping beauty got it right when she had the handsome man chase her in her dreams. I require more sleep this year for functioning purposes.
I think at this list above and realize that there is no pressure to lose x amount of weight but all of these things will put me on the path to where I need to be to take this weight off. That¡¦s what we need right? Small changes that really effect and help us who we need to be and who we need to become. Looking at these photos below, whose going to take care of you if not yourself. I no longer want to be this beautiful girl hiding in her shell, I¡¦m ready to bloom into myself and will no longer let weight be my excuse for anything. Period.
These are my new before pictures.