15,000-19,999 SparkPoints 18,889

And the results are in!! Major progress!!

Thursday, December 19, 2013

First, the weight: 135.4!! That's A HEALTHY BMI!!!!! AHH!!!!
According to the gym, I've lost 11 lbs since joining there. Prior to Thanksgiving (11/15), I was 137.6, so in the past month, I've lost 2.2 lbs. Somehow, I must have lost the other 9 lbs in the 2-3 weeks prior to that. So since joining my new gym and starting personal training, I'm stoked with the results. You know what, I'm even pleased with "only" losing 2.2 lbs in the past month. I'm even more shocked to be at a healthy BMI!! Just barely, but I'm in there!!

Second, body fat percentage: I'm down from 29.1% to 28%. I'm not sure how quickly you're suppose to drop body fat, but my PT told me he was quite pleased with the results :) Right on track! My goal is around 20%, but definitely less than 25% (healthy). I just gotta keep doing what I'm doing! He said it could take the better part of a year to get down to 20%, but that I just gotta stick with it.

Third: measurements!
-Shoulder: down 0.5 inches (he was shocked because there isn't really anything to lose in my shoulders)
-Bust: down 0.5 inches. Not ok with this, I don't want to lose my boobs! Yes, they're just fat, but still... I know I'm shrinking. In the beginning, I was a solid 40D. Back in October, I got remeasured since I noticed my bras weren't quite fitting right and I was a 36 C/D, right in the middle. Now, I fear I'm a C. Blah. Victoria's Secret semi annual sale needs to start up again because I need new bras!
-Waist: down 2 inches! WOO!
-Hips: down 1.5 inches!
-Thigh: down 0.5 inches!
I think my calfs, arm, and neck stayed the same.

So now I just have to keep doing what I'm doing. My PT isn't focused on my weight at all, that isn't the goal, body fat is. I still ant my stomach to get a lot smaller and I want my pouch to go away. He told me that's the last thing that would happen though, is losing that pouch. That makes me sad. I can tell that the pouch is getting more defined and whatnot (by defined, it is getting smaller), but that's what I really want. That's my ultimate goal, to be pouchless - and to have my belly button be visible. I'll get there though. Eventually!

So end the positive stuff (really, I'm ecstatic!), but on to the negative and the part where it seems like I hate my body. I just don't understand. My PT said that I'm tiny, all my friends say I am, that I don't need to lose anymore weight. I bought size 6 dress pants recently. I'm a "healthy" BMI (I don't believe in BMI, it's just another indicator, but it is a cool to say that!). But whenever I look at my stomach, I just see disgustingness and fat. Lots of fat. How can other people not see that? How can they not see the roll covering my belly button and the hideous pouch? How can all the numbers say I'm going in the right direction, but I not have an appealing stomach? A healthy person at a healthy BMI wearing size 6 dress pants should have a "normal" stomach and that person's belly button should be visible. That's what society says, right? I don't know, I guess it just confuses me, that's all. I want to be "normal", but my view of normalcy, is of course, skewed by society. Yes, I know that I'll NEVER have that modelesque body, I don't want that. I just want to be normal!
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon emoticon
    1582 days ago
    I didn't read previous comments, but I am SO proud of your progress! You go, girl!!!

    I hear you on the body negativity, sister. I've struggled with it for years. I struggle with body dysmorphia - it's pretty common to pick apart our own bodies without seeing the flaws others see as fatal in themselves. Remember that you are unique, inside and out, and no one can take your individuality from you. You're on a journey, paving yourself a beautifully healthy path, and don't ever forget that treating yourself well is all that matters! Don't buy into retouched images that skew our perception of perfection - we're all perfect in our own imperfect ways, that's the beauty of humanity - all our little flaws make us a beautiful human race.

    OK, sorry for the rant of positivity - but I do hope you can love yourself along this journey. You are doing amazing things, and I don't want you to lose sight of that.
    1584 days ago
    Being healthy is so much better than looking "perfect" and is anyone ever completely satisfied. I think not. Good work on all your accomplishments. emoticon
    1584 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    Congrats on all your numbers and your progress. I think that our minds have a hard time catching up with our bodies when we have lost weight. I still don't see myself as thin and then I will see a picture and think, oh I guess I am thin. I know that I am at a very healthy weight but it is hard to see it when I look in the mirror. You look great, you just have to convince your mind that you do!
    Hang in there and celebrate how wonderful you look and feel, flaws and all!
    1584 days ago
  • MJ7DM33
    emoticon on your weight loss! Keep it up!
    1585 days ago
    there is no such thing as perfect or normal...and those pictures that we have seen in the media are so fake. its not a joke, allesandra ambrosio even saw a picture of herself that was skimmed on the sides and I couldnt believe it! just be happy with yourself and keep it up!!! :)
    1585 days ago
    Congrats on the healthy BMI. Give your body time to adjust. Keep doing what you're doing. And remember, healthy women DO often have a bit of a pouch, even if they are totally healthy. What you see in pictures is airbrushed many times.
    1585 days ago
    First I want to say thank-you for always commenting on my blog. You always have encouraging words and it's great.

    Second - Congrats on all your progress you should focus on that and keep doing what you are doing. I skipped my morning workout this morning, and now after reading your blog I am regretting it. I could get those results to if I stay committed. I am going home and popping in a workout video. Thank-you.

    thirdly - I know what you mean about hating your "pouch" on your stomach. I feel I have the same problem. I am just about 5'7 and I weight 155lbs and I am told it's healthy blah, blah blah. and that I look great and all that. But like you I want to feel great and see a flat stomach and love it. Someone told me once that if I can't love myself jus the way I am now that I wont love myself when I change to "what I want". So maybe we just have to learn to love our pouch. but continue to work at getting rid of it, and before we know it, it will be gone. Perhaps its that we are always so focused on it. Like that saying "a watched pot never boild"
    Anyway, I hope I can encourage you not to worry to much, and to keep working hard and sooner or later you will see the results you want.

    Keep on going !!!
    1585 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by CANES4EVER63