STARDUST2K4
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It Hasn't Even Been A Week...

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

I have been done with school for 5 whole days. I'm already depressed and anxious, and I want this break to be over. Another vacation time where I can't actually afford to take a vacation. I'm starting to wonder if things will ever actually start looking up. Once again, I'm on another break where I have nothing to do, and not even a part time job to keep me busy and to provide extra income. I basically wake up, and look forward to going back to bed because that's another day closer to starting winter term where I will at least find some purpose.
My "day one"? yeah, that was ruined right quick. At least I tracked it all. I tracked EVERYTHING honestly and completely. At least I have that going for me.
I just feel like absolute crap. I can't even begin to describe how horrible I feel-and it's not because of the food or whatever, though that's not helping. Not even my sleep is peaceful. I keep having recurring dreams about needing to wait for a grade for a class that I skipped out on in a previous dream about a month ago.

I honestly don't know what would make me feel better. I'm stressed because we don't have any money, and we won't have any more until the beginning of the term, but even if I did have money....I probably wouldn't be any happier. I just have depression. What's worse is I don't have anyone to talk to about it.

I guess the fact that I'm on my TOM doesn't help-AT ALL!
I hope tomorrow will be better. I'm going to at least see if taking a walk helps...

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • EDDYMEESE
    Oh my goodness, your feelings are completely natural. It's ok to not have money while you're in school. When you go to Law School, you'll have even less, lol! I'm finally done with my schooling and it feels oh, so good...but I still find myself without money now that I'm paying back student loans. So depressing. I totally know how you feel. It sounds like moving in with your folks should at least help with the financial strain.
    1662 days ago
  • RHOOK20047
    You have many friends here so don't think you are alone. If you have so much time, go to a nursing home and visit with someone who has no one. The elderly have thousands of stories to share, but many have no one to share them with.
    1674 days ago
  • RUNNERRACHEL
    Oh, sorry to hear! I am having a stay-cation too. Activities that don't cost money and keep your mind and body busy. Try doing something new--a walk, a hike, a museum (on a day it's free to go). Check local shows that are free. There may be some new activities to try that you didn't know about. Try to relax and enjoy your time off. I know sometimes it is hard to have too much time on your hands. Make good use of it. Maybe some volunteer work in the area you're studying? Find a place to help out if you are not working and that could give you some good experience there.
    I'm sorry you are in a funk. Take some steps out and if you need help, don't hesitate to ask! We are here for you!
    emoticon
    1674 days ago
  • JTREMBATH
    You have all your Spark friends they are good listeners.
    1674 days ago
  • JRRING
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    1674 days ago
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