It Hasn't Even Been A Week...
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
I have been done with school for 5 whole days. I'm already depressed and anxious, and I want this break to be over. Another vacation time where I can't actually afford to take a vacation. I'm starting to wonder if things will ever actually start looking up. Once again, I'm on another break where I have nothing to do, and not even a part time job to keep me busy and to provide extra income. I basically wake up, and look forward to going back to bed because that's another day closer to starting winter term where I will at least find some purpose.
My "day one"? yeah, that was ruined right quick. At least I tracked it all. I tracked EVERYTHING honestly and completely. At least I have that going for me.
I just feel like absolute crap. I can't even begin to describe how horrible I feel-and it's not because of the food or whatever, though that's not helping. Not even my sleep is peaceful. I keep having recurring dreams about needing to wait for a grade for a class that I skipped out on in a previous dream about a month ago.
I honestly don't know what would make me feel better. I'm stressed because we don't have any money, and we won't have any more until the beginning of the term, but even if I did have money....I probably wouldn't be any happier. I just have depression. What's worse is I don't have anyone to talk to about it.
I guess the fact that I'm on my TOM doesn't help-AT ALL!
I hope tomorrow will be better. I'm going to at least see if taking a walk helps...