The next chapter.
Monday, December 16, 2013
Strange week for me, as this will be my last week at work. Time to go on disability. I've been at my job for over 13 years, but Ethel has just become too much. The swollen bumps and lesions on my hands and feet make it just insanely painful to move much, on top of my daily swelling and pain. I feel like I have to move mountains in order to walk more than a few feet, and driving is a bit too challenging for the time being.
My pain doctors said last week that they were concerned that my EM was actually deforming my hands, and want me to start coming into the hospital for a week-long stay every 6 weeks to try to help with pain. There is just no way to get around that and trying to work. And I can't work part time.
I feel like I've been defeated, and I'm also pretty p!ssed to be honest. But perhaps it is for the best. I've worked a lot longer than anyone thought I could have, so hoorah for being a persistent chick! And of course, there's a slice of me that is hoping that I get some major pain relief soon, a cure for my disease, and can get back to work. That would be so great!
Happy to say that there is a silver lining to being stuck at home from work though (yay!).
The Mayo Clinic has contacted me in response to my doctor's 2nd petition to try to help me.
So exciting! Especially since they turned me down years ago.
I will need to get to MN in February of 2014. Can't fly anymore due to what the pressure does to my system, so we are trying to figure out how to get me there. Randy will chaperone me, which is great, and we are both excited. I wish I was like one of those CIA agents who get knocked out and shipped all over the world in a box lickety split like in my books. Ha!
So now I guess I will be reading a lot of kindle books on my ipad and navigating the storm that is Ethel for the next bit in between treatment. I should feel thankful for the time and I know that I will soon, as so many others don't have health insurance or the option to go on disability. I am blessed for sure, but also unfortunately bitter since this was not a part of my plan. Need to shake that last part off.
I will get to be home for Christmas, but will check into the hospital on 12/30 for my next round of treatment. I need to use this time to listen to my pain, and stay still when needed. I also need to use this time to pay attention to my emotions and not allow them to feel as though they trigger me to eat poorly as a result of it. Bad eating certainly won't help my body!