Sunday, December 15, 2013
How many times have I said "day 1"? I guess it doesn't really matter, because somewhere, some day, down the line, I will be repeating that same thing. It may not be weight-loss related, but it will be something worth mentioning, some "first day of the rest of your life" feeling.
Today, in spite of the fact that I REALLY didn't want to, I got up, got dressed and went to the gym with my sister. I ran a 5K, and then did 30 minutes on the stationary bike. I came home, had some healthy protein, and drank some water. I then went with my mom and sisters to Portland. I had a healthy lunch, and then later, a healthy dinner, and healthy snacks in between. For the first time, without really thinking about it too hard, or struggling with the idea, I actually stayed within my calorie range, and I felt satisfied.
I know that there will be good days, and there will be bad days, but no matter what, I will pick myself back up every time. As long as I do that, I will consider myself successful.
I have been thinking about what truly motivates me. I know what I want. I want to be under 200 pounds. I'd like to be at a healthy BMI. I would love to be able to run a marathon sometime in my 30's. Should I have children, I'd love to be healthy for them, and teach them to live healthy lives. I'd love to motivate and help other people reach their goals. I want to be able to go into a clothing store and not struggle too much (granted, I will always struggle somewhat because I'm so tall-5'10"!). I want to have my dream dress for my wedding and not feel SO insecure! More importantly, I want my physical health to serve as a reminder every day that I am worth my time. I want to look into the mirror and see my fit self, and think "yeah, I look good. I feel good, and I love myself".
The part I struggle with the most is keeping that momentum. It's hard to be motivated knowing that I have about 100 pounds to lose. It's frustrating knowing that the only way this is going to work is if I am diligent, and maybe then, just MAYBE by next year, I'll be at a healthy weight. Making changes to reach a goal that is a year away is SO hard. I guess I do that with school. I do the work, each assignment, for a degree that takes more than 1 year to complete.
I am doing fine now, and I will probably do fine tomorrow. It's daunting to think about time beyond that. I suppose the best thing to do is take it one day at a time. I find that when I am tired, I tend to want to eat more. I suppose it's bee shown that people feel hungry when they're tried because their body feels the need for fuel to continue to stay away. Right now, I'm craving ramen noodles. I will not eat them as much as I really want to. If I want them tomorrow, I will calculate it, and eat them for lunch. Until then, I will focus on getting some sleep. There's no reason to eat ramen noodles at 11:00 in the evening.
I am definitely going to get some exercise in tomorrow. I can do this. I want this.