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In so need of encouragement..

Saturday, December 14, 2013

To start out with, Let me stress that I am not out to discourage anyone in their journey!!! I'm just so discouraged tonight. If you read this entire blog, please don't leave a negative reply. Lately, I've had two replies that I just had to delete because of their content. Yes, I know I should know better...telling me to "chin-up, you can do this" Right now, I don't think I can. So sorry, I don't mean to hurt anyone or discourage anyone...

I decided to have a normal eating day today. Scrambled eggs w/cheese, pop tarts for lunch, even went out to dinner with my husband and ate a burger and fried, coffee and a few chocolates after. Tested my blood sugar and it was 208. It's never been that high before. This morning when I got up, my fasting blood sugar was 125. I'm not even diabetic, just pre-diabetic. (according to my dr)

The thought of dropping normal foods, like all breads, pastas, rice, starchy veggies like beans, potatoes, corn, cereals, hot or cold, milk-any kind, cottage cheese, yogurt, most fruits, soups/stews. Those are just some of the foods that I just can't eat. I'm just so discouraged now. I'm so tired of eating eggs, salads, meat & cheese wrapped in lettuce leaves instead of a sandwich.

I guess tonight, it just got to me. I'm not doing good with my exercise either, nor my water. Sorry to complain so much. I just sat by my computer...doing some work for my church for tomorrow and just let the tears just trickle down my cheeks...I know, I'm having a pity-party. You'd think watching my dear older sister die from diabetes two summers ago would stir me up to be careful of what I eat and whatnot, but it's much harder than I thought.

Thanks for taking to time our of your day to read my blog...sorry to vent, but it has helped some, just writing it down.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm coming in late but--you ARE allowed to have a pity party once in awhile! It is HARD--it is STRESSFUL but it is worth it. You'll see that new grandbaby in August and be around to play with him/her for a LONG time--but it will take a lot of changes to made it happen. As some have said, you will not have to give up everything forever--just not all at one time... Hang in there!!
    1918 days ago
    You can vent any time.
    1950 days ago
    Candy, I'm just stopping by to give you a hug. emoticon emoticon emoticon Never deny your feelings, thoughts, etc. They are perfectly normal.
    1955 days ago
    I understand your feeling of frustration. Its hard to come to grip with all the changes we have to make to lead a healthy life. as some of the other posters above said, just take it step by step one day at a time.Hang in there!
    1955 days ago
    I know what you are saying. I think many of us have felt the same thing about the types of food we like / want to eat. It's perfectly normal to feel the way you do. You don't have to give these things up completely. The key to living a healthy lifestyle is moderation. You just have to eat less of them each day. For the breads you could buy some low carb ones instead. I bought some from because I don't have any place around here that sells low carb breads, bagels, etc... I know this is hard, I really do! However, if it were easy it wouldn't be worth doing. I'm really sorry to hear about your sister. You have made healthy choices in the past. You know how to do this. I'm here for you and it looks like you have many other friends that are here for you too! emoticon emoticon
    1955 days ago
    I often think this journey involves grieving for the life we had for so many years whether or not we truly enjoyed that life. Changes like we are required to make are major and have lasting effects on our emotions as well as our physical selves. We need to learn to deal with those emotions and I admit that I am not doing well at that. Take heart in knowing that you are not alone in this struggle!
    One thing that is helping me is keeping a "MY CHOICES" list (it's a list because I'm not good at journaling). My only goal is to make one "better choice" every day and that's what I list. Some of my latest choices include getting a sandwich at Burger King and choosing grilled chicken without the sauce instead of the original chicken sandwich; taking items out of the dryer and carrying them the 5 steps to my folding table one at a time (this was a large load of whites so I added lots of steps); walking out to get my mail and paper from the box instead of stopping and getting it from the car when I came home, and eating a bowl of soup for lunch without the crackers I usually add. I take a few minutes and add at least one choice I made to my list every day and often read over the list to encourage myself. I'm finding that focusing on the "little things" has worked to release some of my stress and allow me to see that I can be successful.
    My current mantra is "one day at a time - just for today."
    I'm with you every step of the way on this difficult path. Remember - you are not alone.
    Sheila emoticon
    1955 days ago
    go ahead and write what you feel .... we all have these experiences and you have lots of help in the responses you have gotten on this blog .... I'm so thankful I do not have a diabetic condition .... Roc
    1955 days ago
  • MAMAJO1958
    Boy do I hear your frustration! I was just recently diagnosed and went to education only to find out all the things I had been cutting out I can have, in moderation If you haven't already been to a pre-diabetes or diabetes education class I would suggest that first. We are all going to have really bad days (funny mine was yesterday too) and we can work together to make those days a little better and healthier.
    Hang in there!
    1955 days ago
    You are not alone! My fasting glucose readings went from 89-116 in September to 122-148 in November. During that time I went from counting everything to eating as I used to before coming on Spark. My brother died from pancreatic cancer and my mom from complications from her diabetes. I went to my doctor and last Monday she put me on Metformin. She wanted me to try for a few months but I had several terrible side effects from it. Finally I had to stop using it on Thursday. This has become my new motivation. I think as you go on this journey you have bumps and detours. You will find new motivation and make changes along the way. I think I am learning what combination of foods work best for me. I need to eat a lot more protein. I have less cravings that way. I also know never eating certain foods just makes me feel punished and then I go crazy. Keep reading and posting. It really helps. Remember it isn't about how long it takes. The important thing is to be kind to yourself and you will arrive at your destination! Sending hugs and prayers!
    1955 days ago
    A loved one of mine had to give up all things gluten due to a medical condition. Her doctor told her she may experience a mourning period with the change. And she did! Food is more than just fuel for.our bodies to us. We have a relationship with it. I have not had to give up any particlular foods, but chose to attempt a paleo lifestyle earlier this year. It was hard at first, but toally doable. Well, I let my emotions and old food relationships ruin that. I went back to eating the old things that I love. At first I was hapoy. Yay burger bun! But you know what? This food is doing nothing for me. It doesn't make me happy, and it's causing me to gain weight. But guess what? I'm still eating it. Why? I don't know. I can't seem to repeat that first step back toward better food choices. I'm finding inspiration and motivation here in the sparkpages. emoticon
    1956 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/15/2013 1:02:03 AM
  • JO88BAKO
    Oh dear, I totally understand where you are coming from. I am prediabetic too. My husband is on insulin. He is overweight and of course, I am too. You would think we would get it. I'm sorry for your loss of your sister. All I know is never never give up. Tomorrow is a new day. Everyday we have lots of choices to make. Try to start the day with one good choice. You can do it. When it comes time for your next choice, try and think what a good choice would be. It's one day at a time, one good choice at a time. You can do it. When you slip, don't give up. Try again. Have a blessed Sunday.
    1956 days ago
    It's not your fault that you have these feelings first of all. It's normal to have a feeling of loss while losing weight and getting healthier. Second, even with diabetes you do NOT have to give up all of those things. Just not have all of them at once and regulate how much you do have. I'm so sorry to hear about your sister and I know you don't want to hear this, but YOU CAN AND WILL DO THIS!
    1956 days ago
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