Small Change

Next month I will celebrate my second anniversary in Spark. I'd love to tell you that all my goals have been met, that I am the size I always wanted to be, that my eating is healthy, and that my life is forever changed. What I am saying is that I have lost weight while being active on the Spark site; my size is smaller than when I joined but not where it should/will be; my eating is not entirely healthy, but it is healthier; my life is forever changed.

"Forever changed" may seem like a bit of overstatement; I assure you it is not. I'm not where I was and I'm not where I want to be, but I am through beating myself up and willing to accept the progress I've made. Rather than gaining back all the weight PLUS some more, I have been able to keep off a large portion of what I lost. I have gained some weight back, but I'M STILL HERE; I HAVEN'T GONE ANYWHERE. Escape is not really a viable alternative when looking for a healthier lifestyle, and I haven't even been tempted to leave Spark. (That's new.) Now I admit that I have practiced some things I was already pretty good at--not logging in everything I ate, avoiding logging in my weight weekly, not 'fessing up to the weight gain.

The relationships I've found on Spark on the message boards boggle my mind. To have friends I may never meet face-to-face, to know that they know and understand my journey, to know the freedom that comes from not facing judgment regardless of what I weigh, to care about friends across the globe and the trials they face--changes I treasure , changes that were unexpected, changes that make me healthier emotionally, physically,and mentally.

Someone contacted me through Sparkmail a couple of weeks ago, a new friend. I wish I understood what "clicked," but what I do know is that I felt a need to refresh my goals, renew my thinking, and get off my fanny and start doing what I came here to do nearly two years ago--lose weight and become healthier. Thank you, friend, for reaching out to me and, in doing so, helping me to realign the goals I had when I joined.

Kathy