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I looked down.....

Tuesday, December 03, 2013

When I walked into our weight watchers meeting today......I saw on the board that our topics for the day were anchors and the gift tag! I couldn't but help exclaim to our leader Sherry that THESE were my FAVORITE topics of all time! Sherry does them together every first meeting of December. For me they set the tone for the Holiday Season.

I have learned that my anchors have changed as I have changed. The gift tag is one to me from me. On the back you write the amount of weight you wish to be the first meeting weigh in for January. You look at the number today and decide if you shall maintain, gain, or lose. I always tape mine in front of my tracking journal so it is constantly with me.

I always lose weight over the holidays. Today I lost 1. 2 and this was just after Thanksgiving. I personally believe I am more connected....focused .....on the season ahead. I just need to learn to transfer that over to the rest of the year! I realized that today.......took long enough, but I did.

Before the meeting ended today, a member shared that she would be missing the next eight weeks. She shared that she was having major surgery and the recovery period was going to be long. She expressed the concern that a BIG MAN was going to be her caregiver during this time period. ( her husband) He was one for pizza.

She stumbled in her words and her voice started to quiver. I could hear her gasping for breath.....words......and realized she was going to cry.

This member is a regular. She is a constant. She has lost almost 100 pounds since she started. She shares often and is such the planner. Her goal is another 50 pounds.

I am going to be frank here. I never REALIZED she even had 100 to lose let alone 50 more. I never saw it...but then again.....I never look either. I have NEVER cared what a person weighs.....I only care what kind of person they are.

A dead silence fell across the room.

The member kept saying she was sorry and she didn't know where this was coming from as she struggled with her tears and emotions.


I wanted to turn around and tell her it was alright.

I wanted to tell her to take her time.

I wanted to tell her that we were here for her.

I wanted too..............

but instead I looked down lost in thought.


My heart was truly breaking.....for her.


I silently said a prayer for her. I wanted her to release the pain and become strong.


As I sat there......I realized why weight watcher meetings are so powerful. Even though members truly don't know one another.......we DO get to know one another......with learning....laughter....and sometimes with tears.

I have to be honest.....I have never understood the tear part. I never cry. ....oh....I mean I do cry, but my tears are for a loss of someone or anything to do with pets. Other than that, I don't dwell ...or allow myself to get that emotional. I tend to be ....too rational.


I have always known that weight loss persey can be a touchy subject with various reactions.


TODAY....it hit me full force.

This member has literally worked so hard to lose 100 pounds. She was scared and realized that she had to depend on someone else these next two months. She was afraid of going back to old.....easier ways that got her here in the first place. She was fragile in so many ways still.


It was a powerful meeting.



Outside the building a few of us ....just stood for a moment. We felt so bad. One lady had tears in her eyes. I begged her to please not cry. She told me she couldn't help it...she felt so .....badly . After some time, we parted ways.



Tuesday night I have always considered TAKE OUT TUESDAY since I weighed in earlier in the day. Pizza is usually our fare of choice. My logic....I have a whole week now before I get weighed in again.


Tonight....I made taco salad .....my FAVORITE recipe that Thursday Leader Lisa gave us.


Tonight...I updated my food journal.

Tonight......I taped my GIFT TAG on the front cover of my journal.


My anchor has changed. My meetings are my anchor. My gift tag.....is truly my gift to me and one to value.

Tonight.....I ran my finger tips over my gift tag.........


Tonight.... I thought of the meeting.....the leader...the members......

and I wept.



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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • GRLTAZ
    A lot of emotions, contemplations today. Your WW member was feeling her emotions instead of stuffing them. That was good. I would have cried or at least teared up hearing her fears because I was there once and am trying hard to get there again (100 lbs lost). You have a great tradition with the gift tag. I hope you make your goal. TC
    2609 days ago
  • HOLDINGMYOWN
    Hmmmmm.....I wonder~~
    I WONDER~~if I had ~had a good CRY of fear when I stopped smoking...If I could have maybe stopped my 50 of 90 pounds from getting gained back?

    I am not a crier either....AND back when I was putting on the 50 lbs....I got hateful & feisty....
    Rather than sad and fearful....

    Maybe this woman will make it Mary....JUST because she shared and MOSTLY because she recognized exactly what could happen~~

    I DID NOT~~
    2610 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/4/2013 10:12:05 PM
  • SHANTODD420
    Wow Mary that is said so well. You are a truly amazing person and have done so well with your weight loss. Keep up the hard work and dedication. I am working on me and trying to get where everyone else is. I am focusing on friends and family at this time instead of all the food.


    Shannon
    2610 days ago
  • PEGGYO
    I remembered the tag from last year and I brought one with me just for that reason.
    Didn't you have it in your pocket last year? or was that just me?
    2610 days ago
  • PJSTIME
    Beatiful blog.
    2610 days ago
  • A-STRONGER-ME
    Great stuff. I have attended meetings like this myself. I hope someone in the group reached out to her. For those of us that like to be strong but falter, it sure helps to "hear" it is OK to be vulnerable. OK to be afraid. I have actually been thinking about rejoining WW, not so much for the program itself, as I do know how to eat, but for the emotional support aspect of the whole thing. It is amazing what you can get from the meetings.

    Run your finger across that tag just one more time and STAY STRONG!!
    2610 days ago
  • SOCALIF
    Very touching story. I can't even imagine....Does someone in the group have her contact information? Maybe everyone could organize something and each one share a little. Thanks for sharing.
    2610 days ago
  • TIMOTHYNOHE
    emoticon
    2611 days ago
  • CURVYGURL8
    Beautifully stated!
    2611 days ago
  • HEARTOFCHRIST
    emoticon
    2611 days ago
  • HOLISTIC5
    Powerful...thanks for sharing
    2611 days ago
  • NICOLESJOURNEY
    Beautiful. I love the gift to oneself and will Pray for your member. She has a voice and will need to use it during recovery.
    2611 days ago
  • PINKHOPE
    Wonderful blog! Thank you for sharing it. When we care about another individual we are investing a small piece of ourselves in them. I think this was a piece well placed. Thank YOU for caring about someone else.

    Hugs!
    2611 days ago
  • MALAMI518
    Wow, I became emotional just reading that. I know the fear of regaining 100 pounds. (I also know the reality of regaining 100 pounds.) This is such a difficult journey at times that it's so overwhelming to think about going back again. I hope that she can find some support while she's healing and that she can get her husband to supply her with some healthy foods.

    Great job on losing this week and making a healthier dinner tonight!
    2611 days ago
  • YJNANA
    I felt bad for your gal today too :(
    I was hoping they would have a Call list so she could still be in touch via phone or Email to keep up her hard work.
    She is going to be so Isolated and dependent on him for food?
    You would almost have to buy pre packaged food to plan your meals.
    Even frozen dinners.
    I hope she had contact. Even with WW Online.
    It would be nice if she got on Sparks too :)
    Best Wishes to you on reaching your January Goal. I know you will :)
    2611 days ago
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