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UnHappy Thanksgiving.

Friday, November 29, 2013

I need to vent and I have no where but here. No one need read this and I may just delete it.

Went to dad's for Thanksgiving and things were going ok at first. Then the wife starts in on my about how I better watch what she is doing in the kitchen because next year this is on me. A - NO. I don't cook meat and I don't have the room or the money. "Well your sister is moving so you're going to have to. I'm done."

Whatever, fast forward a few minutes. We were talking about old tv and movies and some brought up Annette Funicello. "didn't she die? " "yes, it was in april when Margaret Thatcher died. Someone had mentioned that two great woman had passed to me I knew about Thatcher but giggled to myself when Funicello was mentioned. I mean world leader and mickey mouse club?" that got a giggle from the people I was talking to but also got me attacked by dad's wife.

I simply stated that I was a child of the 80's and grew up admiring her, Gorby, and Reagan. Then my dad yells at me about Reagan. A dad, you voted for him! I left the room and went in the garage with the smokers. The rest of the day I was open for cheep shots from darling wifey.

I didn't over eat but ended up with a bit too much wine. Fortunately we came home early and it's over. I just went to bed. I can't keep dealing with this. I'm not trying to offend anyone and all I did was bring up a dead woman's name. I'm so tired of being the red-headed step child in my own family.

I was going to go shopping today but I lost my mood. I'm depressed and feel like crying. My family was NEVER like this before her. Now my sister (not that we really get along) is moving to Colorado, my dad is warping his past to fit wifey current political pressures, and because I won't lie or agree with thing I really don't I'm a piece of dog doo. It really hurt.

Holidays are all I have left. I'm the eldest female and I can't save the clan. I don't know how to deal with it. I'm certain dad and I will be fine today, but I can't deal with her anymore.

I guess I should get dressed now. Thanks for listening.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I swear the whole two-party political system is designed to do this to families. Every person much choose for themselves what stance they take politically, and in many cases it pits family and friends against each other. I really, really hate that. I mean really, do we all fit into two boxes anyway????? Seriously?? So sorry, hope things are good between you and your Dad, that's all that matters anyway.
    1630 days ago
    My kids go to their dad's house on holidays, but none of them like his new wife. They go, visit with other family, and ignore her as much as possible. I feel bad that they have to put up with her, but it's my ex's problem to deal with, not mine. Maybe you should say something to her. I wonder how she'd react.
    1633 days ago
    I'm so sorry that your dad's wife was so horrible to you and that your dad didn't stand up for you. We have had family gatherings like this with my husband's family. It got to the point where we've had to distance ourselves from his parents. Luckily for us, his siblings did too and we get along great with my husband's brother and sister now. I hope you can figure out what sort of distance is needed to keep the peace and make life enjoyable for YOU.

    1633 days ago
    I read and commented on your blog about Thanksgiving, and then...I feel so bad for what I wrote yesterday. Instead of you laughing and making fun of her the bit** did it to you! I don't deal with my family because the parents stab all 3 of us girls behind our backs when they are with one of us. I know how things are supposed to be, and that is not it! If I was you, I would alienate your dad to some degree if you can, and want to until he can fully support you. There should be no cheap shots, and you should not feel stressed at holidays.
    I don't even call my parents or see them on their birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving or any other time of the year!
    I went through a lot of counseling due to the way we were raised, and I had a therapist ask me why I keep trying to deal with my parents and have their love when I am treated the way I am. That made me think a lot! The result was ignoring and alienating the whole bunch of them, even my 2 sisters. I don't need family if that's all they have to offer. I owe them nothing, they brought me in to this world, I didn't ask for it!
    I just hope this jogs your thinking, and I hope you do what you truly feel deep inside. Leaving someone's house early on Thanksgiving due to the stress just doesn't sound like a happy place, and you don't HAVE to go, just sayin'....

    Big (((HUGS)))
    1633 days ago
  • JUSTME29
    Wow - look at the plethora of advice and sympathy. I'm so sorry that Thanksgiving went this way. I know you've had trouble with her in the past too.
    I really don't have anything to add to what everyone else has written, I just wanted you to know you have my support too.
    1634 days ago
    Hugs. You always have us too. Sorry you didn't have a good day.
    1634 days ago
    I'm so sorry that you can't have a nice day without your Dad's wife making rude comments. I agree with Speedydog. That's her problem not yours - just ignore everything she says like she's not there. Don't let her ruin your visits! emoticon emoticon
    1634 days ago
    Kitty, I can't say anything any better than other SP friends have said.

    I feel you do need to do what is best for YOU. You have a loving DH, a great son, and wonderful fur-babies. Who better to spend your holidays with ??

    That would be your avenue if you are not able to attend the gathering, and just ignoring the "crude wife". She obviously is showing her ignorance, and is using her nastiness to cover up her shortcomings. Don't fall into her trap.

    Just from knowing you on SP, I know you are a great person who would help anyone. If you don't/can't host the next one, just say NO, and walk away.


    1634 days ago
    My awesome Kitty... Sweetie, I'm so sorry that you went through that. Family drama is the worst - I've had my own through the years too. The key to freedom is accepting that you cannot control or change or "save' anyone but yourself. I know it's hard and I know what it feels like to wish your family was different... I've been there myself. You have to find ways of creating family times that work for you. Focus most of your time and attention on the people you love and who love you and treat you well. If someone like that mistreats you, that's their problem and it's not worth even one more minute of your attention on it. Above all, try to keep yourself in peace. Forgive the nut(s) and let her go.... forgiveness doesn't make her right, it helps YOU and releases you from them. Ignore the crazies and don't get drawn into their dramas. Sometimes that means distancing yourself from or avoiding certain people; yes even on holidays. There is no reason you should have to subject yourself to abuse.

    On the other hand, you could visit your family at these holiday times and just ignore your Dad's wife. Focus your attention on the people you love and interact well with, and JUST IGNORE her like she's not there and hasn't said anything. You don't have to be nasty or rude or anything. You can be generally polite but if you say something and she jumps on it, or if she starts on you to begin with, don't even respond to her. If she continues harping on you, she'll just be showing herself to be a lunatic in front of the others. Just don't get drawn into the drama. No matter what she says or does. She obviously has a problem and isn't content with being miserable by herself, and she's just trying to draw you into a fight because it feeds her problem. Don't give her the satisfaction. You don't have to explain yourself. You don't have to argue. You don't have to get into it. Because she doesn't really care that you're right or how you meant things. She's looking for a reaction so don't give it to her.

    You've gotten a variety of advice here... take from it what helps you. But above all, remember that just because she has a problem, doesn't mean that you have to. You have your own life that you love and enjoy.... a wonderful husband, a son you love, and wonderful furbabies. Your Dad's wife is probably envious of the life and the freedom that YOU have. Don't let her spoil it for you.

    Also, I wouldn't delete the blog unless you really really want to.... you feel how you feel. Sometimes writing things down helps us to put things in perspective, and over time,. we can go back and see how far we've come. emoticon emoticon
    1635 days ago
    she sounds like a bully! (though get the not doing the cooking thing lol) Sorry you have to deal with it

    sometimes you need to stand up to the bully to let them know your not going to tolerate them doing that to you anymore. as you get older you realize that these type of people get off on being this way.... BUT it is up to US to not allow them to do it TO us.

    Plus it is NOT your JOB as eldest female family member to hold the "clan" together.... is that a life rule or something written down somewhere?!?!? LOL

    I probably would have said tell me where to buy a tofu turkey and I'll think about it!
    emoticon emoticon

    1635 days ago
    Sending Big Hugs your way. emoticon
    1635 days ago
  • HICIM705
    I'm so sorry that you had a less than desirable Thanksgiving! In the end, if you choose not to deal with her anymore, you may also be walking away from your father ... give that some thought. As far as hosting Thanksgiving, don't - unless you are prepared to take more verbal abuse from 'her'.

    BUT - on the other hand, you could host Thanksgiving ... and when/if she complains - THEN tell her that you did the best that you could with what you had - and if she doesn't like it, you would be happy to show her where the door is! Seriously, family drama can be the WORST ... I wish you much smoother and happier times ahead.
    1635 days ago
    emoticon emoticon Sorry your day was crappy.
    1635 days ago
    I hate to admit it, but you are not alone. I have heard of this before and a friend of mine has the same situation with her dad's wife.

    I feel sorry for such people. It seems like they like to wallow in self pity and make everyone around them feel as bad as they do. I guess that's the perspective I'd take on it. She's not happy so she's going to make sure no one is happy.

    As for cooking next year, you have a few choices and none of them will make her happy, but oh well. 1) Go ahead and cook, but make what YOU EAT! She'll complain, not be happy and maybe decide not to eat Thanksgiving at your house again. YOU WIN! 2) Don't cook and meet at a restaurant. She'll complain that the food isn't as good as last year and she won't want to have Thanksgiving at a restaurant next year. YOU WIN! 3) Don't invite her over for Thanksgiving and do your own thing. You don't have to deal with her negativity and once again YOU WIN!

    I hope this brought a little smile to your face! Hang in there and realize some people are just "that way" and live her to her own misery. I like you just the way you are!!!!!! emoticon
    1635 days ago
    Dang. This sounds like the sort of "fun" that one should choose a root canal over. I'm going to briefly reiterate some of the advice already posted.

    1. Don't delete the blog. Your feelings are legitimate and nothing to be ashamed of. As you can see, you are not alone (both fortunately and unfortunately, if you get my drift).
    2. Save yourself. This whole idea of saving the "clan" is nice, but just not possible. Folks who are trying to escape dysfunctional families have to come to terms with the fact that the only person you can save is yourself. It's not going to be fun. It's not going to be easy. It is, however, necessary. Don't second guess yourself. Just go.
    3. This woman is a few fries short of a Happy Meal. You can't reason with crazy. I wouldn't worry about going back for visits.

    I had to shut the door on my own family, not only for my sanity, but for my health, safety, and financial security. I view family as one of the biggest, most inexcusable biological conspiracies in the universe.

    1635 days ago
    I've been in similar situations but with my FIL. I stopped going to visit him. For 5 years. No phone calls. Nothing. My husband would visit once a year without me. I missed my MIL, but I was not going to subject myself to the abuse or watch him abuse others. My husband totally understood. Life is too short. Find other times to be with your father without her. The holidays add an extra layer of intensity to family dynamics. You are miserable. You aren't building loving memories with your father or sister. What is the point? Make new memories with your son, husband and friends. Ditch the b!tch.
    1635 days ago
    Oh wow! Total bummer!! So sorry you had to go through that. Sounds like your family is a lot like mine -- they put the "fun" in dysfunctional. I wouldn't worry about having Thanksgiving dinner all on you next year. There is this awesome little two-letter word that works very well -- "no." One of my Aunts & her family go to Cracker Barrel every year on Thanksgiving Day. No law that says you can't go out to eat. emoticon emoticon
    1635 days ago
  • LOSER05
    I'm sorry your day was ruined by her, I know exactly how you feel.. my dad married a HAG who only wanted her creepy kids around me and my 2 brothers were never invited to any occasion...
    she gave her 3 kids a key to my dads house we never got one, we didn't want one anyway..she wrote monthly checks to her kids with my dads money ( she didnt work ) behind his back...we found out after she took off with Dad after his stroke...because she left things behind to make us mad. if we stopped by to see Dad which was far and in between because of her, she would always leave the room till we left but she would listen to what we were talking Dad had a stroke and she moved him out of state. when he passed the Bit@# let us know a month later with an obituary saying her 3 kids as dads...we were never mentioned..
    my Dad had a box with pictures of us when we were babies a whole bunch before I was even born of my 2 brothers the Cun@ threw them away, I cant show my kids old pictures because their gone...I HATE HER SOOO MUCH.....Dad had a will and we;re thinking when Dad had his stroke and moved him she had him make a new one because he had a whole bunch of guy stuff for my brothers and a good amount of money for me..we got nothing. I wonder if dads BIT@@ is the same person emoticon
    1635 days ago
    Ok, I'm going to stop feeling sorry for myself for spending Thanksgiving all alone! Sometimes alone is better than dealing with family drama. You can always pack up your fur babies and drive down to Texas next year and have Thanksgiving with me and Peanut :-). No political discussions at our table!!!
    1635 days ago
    Don't delete this blog! You have the right to feel anyway you want to feel. Some people just aren't happy unless they make others around them feel like crap. I know it hurts to be the one that gets picked on by your dad's evil wife. You haven't done anything wrong and no matter what you do you, you will most likely be a big target for the wicked witch. She obviously sees you as her biggest threat and therefore will be her target every time. Any chance you can not go and then just have your dad come over after they have their TD meal?? If she doesn't want to cook the TD dinner then get her a catalog from the Honey Baked Ham store. You can buy a whole meal for a big crowd for about the same price as you'd pay to buy all of the food and make it yourself. Tell her that you're just trying to help her out! lol emoticon

    Two topics we never discuss at family functions are politics and religion. Both topics can get people very hot and animated.

    Annette Funicello and Margaret Thatcher were two unique women. We didn't get to see the Mickey Mouse Club when we were growing up. They didn't air it on the stations we had. Yes, she was an actress but she was also an icon for many young girls in a different way than Margaret Thatcher. Margaret Thatcher was no pushover. After I found out that she was the Prime Minister of England I wanted to be the president of the US. Until I got older realized that's not a job I would want. lol

    You don't have to save the clan. They are adults and it's up to them to decide whether or not they want to be in your life and the lives of your other family members.

    I know it's hard to ignore the evil woman but she gets pleasure in making you unhappy. You have to either stop going to get togethers that involve her or you'll have to find a way to let her comments slide off your back. You are a better person than her and you don't have to stoop to her level!!

    1635 days ago
    Awww how sick. I'm so sorry. This kinda crap really sucks.

    You're up against some really tough decisions. It will break your heart to pull away - or you can keep going back and getting beat up.

    So far as your dad turning on you, it seems that when some people 'mature', they just want peace at home at any cost and will sacrifice whatever it takes to have it. It sounds like you're the one on the chopping block.

    Kitty, I too can relate. I have been totally alienated from my family for the past 2 years because I refuse to let my good for nothing nephew - after 15 years on meth - abuse my 80 year old mother. Even mom turned on me.
    I've spent the past 1.5 year coming to terms with it and it hasn't been fun or easy. But this is the first holiday (and Christmas will be the next) that there's been peace and no drama because DH and I spent it home, just the two of us. It's a new way of life for us.

    I know you've already tried to reason with your dad about 'her'. Maybe if you are MIA at the next family get togethers, he might reconsider or make other arrangements to get together with you (privately) some other time.

    It really sucks and I am so sorry for your heartbreak. I wish there was a magic fix to make it all better.

    Lots of hugs to you. And a big box of Kleenex.

    1635 days ago
    Sorry you had an unhappy thanksgiving ((( HUGS ))) from Pa. emoticon
    1635 days ago
    Sorry you didn't enjoy your Thanksgiving. Hugggggggs!. People can be so annoying, especially during the holidays! Get some extra love from your fur babies. emoticon emoticon
    1635 days ago
    Looks like you've gotten enough advice. I am sorry this happened to you, very glad you blogged to get things out and on the table and know you'll figure out what is right (or not) for you.
    1635 days ago
    Sending hugs and empathy Kitty as trust me: BEEN THERE--DONE THAT!! ........ There is enough hostility and drama in my family that the steam can cook the vegetables!!! They need no stove!! .............. My own Mother confessed she hated me for being BORN A GIRL!!! ................ So I was her whipping post til finally left and now I never go back!! As for this 'woman' .... (?) there is No blood and had it not been a remark about Annette Funicello, it would have been something ELSE! It is called a win situation and you can DIE trying! But PLEASE DON'T!! Your buds here love you ............... and hopefully you and your Dad can agree to seeing each other privately without all her VENOM!!! ............... I am so sorry and if I were your MIL ........... I would embrace you open armed!! ................... emoticon (for real) .............
    1635 days ago
  • CIPHER1971
    emoticon No advice - just a friendly hug and a listening ear
    1635 days ago
    WE are here for you to vent! It is sad to see people change so much due to who they are married to.... My brother in law is completely different from when he was married to my sister. He has different pplitical views )what? really?), a different look, different food preferences.... How does that happen? It is not all on you next year.... If she won't allow the family to gather at their house, then invite Dad to your house and tough booties to her!I'm sorry you had to deal with her hateful attitude. And, well, I can hardly put Margaret Thatcher and Annette Funicello in the same "great women" category, but to each her own! Possibly, yes, both were great women but in many diferent ways!! Seems silly to mention them in the same breath! Oh my! Hope you got out and perhaps some shopping bourth you back to you! Just try and not take her crap personally.
    1635 days ago
    I am glad you feel comfortable venting somewhere. That sounds hurtful and it was good you removed yourself as much as you did. emoticon
    1635 days ago
    All blessings to you. Wishing you relief.
    1635 days ago
    I'm glad you did vent. You needed to get that off your chest! Wow. Your MIL is RUDE! Obviously your dad is trying to stay on her good side -what little of it he can get I'm thinking...I'm so sorry. You must feel so betrayed by him. It's got to be so difficult to love someone so much and yet feel so betrayed by them too.
    There is no way that you should ever do the meal next year. If you decide to get together with them and no one else is putting on the meal- suggest a restaurant perhaps. You should be able to leave as early as you want to. No bad feelings like that should ever have to be endured. Ugh. I'm so sorry you had that happen to you..

    1635 days ago
    I'm sorry the holiday turned out so badly. You've received a lot of good advice.
    I just want to stress that you should NOT host the family gathering next year. The result would likely be the same except you will be more stressed from all the work.

    Maybe that would be a good time for a long weekend getaway - someplace relaxing.
    1635 days ago
    Oh boy, can I relate to husband's sister is tee-total crazy.

    She and her husband took his mother to get her hair done, and flew into a rage
    and cussed out the owner of the beauty shop, scared some of the other patrons,
    and then ordered the woman out of her own place of business, screaming abuse
    at her....then she called the police on the owner, which backfired on her because
    after the officer heard from the owner and other patrons, she got a restraining
    order placed on her. The only time the mother gets out is on Friday to get her hair
    done, so the soninlaw takes her in, and leaves.

    The last time we were in the same house, she took a swing at me with her fist,
    only I am quicker than she is and moved. She and her husband live with husbands'
    mother, but have taken over. Unfortunate but true, his mother was talked into giving
    her power of attorney so she has total control. She could revoke this, but won't, but
    calls my husband weeping because we don't come see her, but his sister ordered us
    out of "her" house and we are not allowed there. Our hands are tied.

    It is probably better for you if you avoid these family gatherings, if it is going to be
    a snipe at you festival. You do not have to host a dinner for people who are
    un-appreciative of you. My brother was always the favorite, so I can relate there

    If you have certain family members you want to be in contact with, go out to lunch
    or dinner with them, and ignore the rest.

    I know it is hard to distance yourself, but you should be happy with the ones who
    accept you, and avoid the others. It has worked for us. You are not alone, there
    are many of us who are dealing with vindictive and hateful people in our lives..
    She obviously is immature and small any time you need to vent, feel
    free....a lot of us come on here and vent.....and then we feel better.

    Just know it is not is her.

    1636 days ago
    A few thoughts....

    1. Keep the blog. Let the feelings go now that you've acknowledged them.

    2. Maintain your relationship with your father. Years ago I had similar experiences as you at family holiday gatherings, so I stopped attending. My mother died 10 years ago and some of my fondest memories are of her during those holidays. I still miss her and second guess myself that if I had just ignored the drama, I might have more memories of her and the holidays.

    3. Your father is changing to match his environment. My father has done the same since my mother's death. At times I wonder if he's the same person my mother taught me to respect. He's very susceptible to the beliefs of his friends.

    4. Don't host any family holidays. In the new wife's eyes you'll never be good enough. Let it go.

    I wish you better times during the upcoming holiday season. Good thoughts your way.
    1636 days ago
  • _LINDA
    So very sorry you have to deal with such a harpy of a stepmom :(( I consider myself very fortunate all my family get along. My Mom actually got it right the second time around marrying my stepdad -it was the father that was from Hell. Stand your ground about not holding a Thanksgiving yourself. My family understands I will never hold one with the bad RA in my hands and my postage stamp sized apartment with no furniture. It almost sounds as if you shouldn't bother getting together with this lot. There is no law stating you have to. Many is the time my original, core family can't get together because their extended families always come first. What you do is pick other times and days with a few at a time, not all at once. We always had Christmas with my sister and her family on the 28th, her daughter's birthday because her only child husband had to always have Christmas with his Mom.
    Tips on relieving stress and depression induced by stepmom -get a punching bag and pin her photo to it and punch away. Dart board with her photo. Chew toy for pooch with her photo. Getting the idea? Or untraceable -photoshop her photo into various torture devices.
    Sending comforting hugs and soothing thoughts
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1636 days ago
    Families always do have their differences. Our own four adult children range from bleeding heart to somewhere to the right of Attila the Hun, yet we all manage to happily co-exist. I try to keep the political discussions to opinions of the opinion makers rather than the subjects themselves. We all read a million newspapers (gotta love the iPad!) so it never devolves into shouting matches.

    Annette Funicello was an icon of our 50s childhood, a successful child star in the (at the time) squeaky clean Disney family. She was excoriated publicly for getting divorced in 1981, the same year I got my divorce. It's amazing to remember how people looked down on divorce back then. The last 15+ years of Annette's life she suffered from multiple sclerosis, and spend those years raising money for neurological research. Hardly a Margaret Thatcher, but not a nobody, either. Watching famous people our own age die is a vivid reminder of our own mortality.
    1636 days ago
    Politics is a very polarizing subject. Even more so these days, because our political landscape has become a war zone.

    Your dad's wife sounds like an idiot.

    We had guests for Thanksgiving that were of many different political philosophies, races, occupation, education and gender identification. Our job was to make all our friends feel welcome. Dinner was a huge success.

    My sister-in-law is an idiot just like your dad's wife. If I said, "It is a nice day, today". She would respond with, "What do you mean by that?" At my nephew's wedding, I said to her, "Congratulations, your son and bride make a lovely couple." She jumped all over me because she did not approve of her son's choice of a wife."

    Unfortunately, the only way to deal with my sister-in-law at family functions is not to voluntarily say anything to her.

    My uncle, who is a really nice man has a saying. "If you don't like me, that is your problem, not mine."

    Thanks, Speedydog

    1636 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/29/2013 11:56:31 AM
  • CHERYLA2012
    You don't have to save the clan. You don't have to do anything to save grown-@ss adults simply because they're grown-@ss adults!

    It never fails, we get together with our families and somehow automatically resume the familial roles we always had, including our parents, not acting as parents, but also resuming their familial roles. No wonder it's family dysfunction bonanza time and we get so confused and angry.

    The only we can control is us. So if you tell yourself you're going to have a good day, then have the good day. Smile at the rude, thoughtless, insensitive, boors who also occupy the same space you do while your favorite song plays in your head, drowning out their inane words.

    I don't try and have any meaningful conversations with my husband's brothers & sisters because they're all hellbent on posturing and all the behavior I described. I simply choose to rise above it, and thankfully, my husband has finally seen the light over the last couple years and no longer feels like banging his head against the wall.

    They are the way they are and that's it. Nothing I say or do is gonna change it so I am not wasting my time, mind, or resources on them. I deal strictly with my Mom #2 (mother-in-law), and Dad (father-in-law), nieces, nephews, etc.


    1636 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/29/2013 11:48:16 AM
    What is it about holiday and family?. Sometimes the only joy in the journey is understanding that they end in "Y?" As in why, oh why? This reminded me of the beginning of the Charles Dickens classic, Tale of Two Cities. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way- in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."

    Rest and recover, Kitty. You were heard. You are appreciated. There's a smile for you :)
    1636 days ago
  • MLH148
    Sorry re the crappy day. Sounds as though you did as you should. Hope you are feeling better today
    1636 days ago
  • BOB5148
    Good blog. Hope it help you to vent.
    1636 days ago
    Do not delete this blog ! These are feelings and you are entitled to your feelings , period ! She sounds vindictive ! emoticon I laughed at the Mickey and Annette - really wasn't she popular for her thoracic section of the body in childhood and a famous divorce? Perhaps you can cook emoticon her for Thanksgiving next year ROASTED STEP MOM , Mmmmm emoticon . Are you sure you were not at my Moms last night ? Cause its pretty much the same scenario - I did enjoy myself ( the Morphine shot from the ER or still frozen from the Trot helped) some people just need to needle another person to spread their misery . I have gotten to the point that I just smile and I think that its makes them madder - and that's on them - you DO NOT HAVE TO COOK FOR ANYONE or prove to her that you can ! I am so sorry that you had to deal with this yesterday emoticon Big hug's Karen
    1636 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/29/2013 1:31:18 PM
    It is too bad that you can't have a nice calm time with your family. You may not be able to control others, but you can change how you handle them. If you keep reacting to those things, you only give them more ammo with which to hurt you. I hope someday they can be better to you.
    1636 days ago
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