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HOLIDAY MISCONCEPTIONS, PERSPECTIONS?

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

it is that time of the year again. on so many levels it is a fun time full of childrens' dreams and anticipations.
i do love that people seem to smile more and sometimes are more thoughtful towards others.
for many though it is a very sad and scary four to six weeks of their lives. it is an unfortunate fact that depression, suicide, alcoholism, drug dependency - even heart attack - escalate . so many have unrealistic expectations - and find themselves in financial distress because of an 'ideal' that has been contrived -
why must everything be overdone? why can't we just be satisfied with what fits into our individual households?
every year nothing changes despite articles written in newspapers - information shows on the TV warning of excesses from your wallet to your waistline - but we seem to think there is a magic fairy who will sprinkle us with special dust and all of the consequences will disappear.
what i find most lothesome are the children who grow into adults and only remember the excess of things such as drinking - and what comes along with that - the abuse in many forms from vocal to physical.
or just the absence of the parents' participating in their days over this time.
on a personal level - i remember having to be at 'house parties' with people i loathed when under the influence - but having to smile, hug and generally be a little prop. i do not remember one fun Christmas or New Year - and all through my marriage- everyone just seemed to be sense less and stupid with this so called 'tradition' of excess.
if you have a tree - fine - but if you don't so what. put a lovely wreath on the door. you can easily make one -
i have seen sprigs and greenery and a few bows and tinsel - charging hundred dollars for that is robbery.
i made my own - i always keeps scraps of material such as velvet, ribbons etc. there is so much you can do with stuff around the house.
why do people pay double and triple for 'name brand' or 'star power' items such as talc or lotions? it is the very same as the items in the drug stores bearing their own store name for less than half of the price!
anyway = please tell me your experiences over this time of the year - i am looking forward to all of your experiences and i truly wish everyone a healthy, sane, and happy holiday season - BB
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • PELESJEWEL
    I love the holidays. I cherish the time with family. I have curbed spending and am conscious of my consumption of stuff. I M striving for a simpler life.
    1809 days ago
  • AUTUMNHOPE
    Childhood didn't have great holiday memories, but I was blessed to have a family who could afford presents.

    I agree with the excess. We have lost SO much of the true spirit & meaning in this country.

    I started this with my family . We all draw names out of a hat. We spend $50 on one person. No more. That way all can afford it. Everyone still receives a nice gift, but we don't go bankrupt doing it.

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    1815 days ago
  • EILEEN828
    It is rather tragic to see when people get all sucked into the theory that you have to have the biggest, best, or most of presents as an indicator of love. That so much of society condones and embellishes this, is one of the reasons it can be so hard to go against that way of thinking.

    My husband and I have been trying to down grade the frenzy for several years now. We put it off as long as we can to minimize it. For instance simply enjoying each holiday unto itself. It is still not Thanksgiving yet. We do get a tree, and bake some goodies and eventually presents. But since our family is grown now our gifts trend towards just cash or something specific. We don't mind the concept of shopping for ourselves. It's actually a bit more indulgent that way, when you get to spend your "free from spoken for" money.

    I remember when my husband and I were dirt poor when we were first married, and I couldn't help but compare ourselves to our friends who put themselves into debt to buy a "big" gift for their spouse and seemed to believe that is what you do. It so humiliated me on an inside personal level that we couldn't even begin to afford something like that, and that I was pretty unaware how much people even did that. I came from a big family and money was always tight and so we were trained early to not expect huge gifts.

    So now here I am decades later, comfortable and relieved to know that I actually had it right from the start. Sure some years were indulgent but we are comfortable and wise enough to know now that other than a yuletide fun season, it's a lot nicer to just get things as you need them, not because society says "it's time to splurge or else you"re a jerk."

    To be fair I know this is a lot harder when your kids are young and are forced to compare with their school mates. The best advice here is to train them in the idea of minimizing comparisons, and work hard at making the season "different," working with what you have got. Attitude is everything here, and young kids are easier than tweens and teens but again it is what you make of it. Make the family together time the most indulgent part of the holiday and your family will remember and feel grateful for that the most.

    Happy Holidays everyone!
    1815 days ago
  • SECRETKEL
    It makes me sad that you have bad childhood memories of the holidays emoticon I have been blessed with a very close wonderful family, dysfunctional in their own way of course, but not through alcohol, drugs or abuse. Christmas was always a magical time growing up and it continues to be my favourite holiday even now that I'm grown up and don't have any children of my own. On Christmas Eve my entire family gathers at my parents house for great food, a few drinks (never to excess), some gifts and a lot of memories and fun. It's never stressful. Everyone helps with the food. Nobody is expected to come bearing gifts if they can't afford them. We just truly enjoy each other's company. Last year my boyfriend was in a bad way. We were both broke. Our first Christmas together. He couldn't understand how I could be so excited and upbeat about the holidays when we didn't have two cents to rub together between us. But then he came to my parents for Christmas Eve and now he understands. I wish everyone had a family like mine. emoticon
    1817 days ago
  • FERRETLOVER1
    I enjoy decorating the house with all the wonderful items my husband and I have collected over the years. This is a stressful time of year, but I have learned how to cope with most of that stress. Instead, I look forward to seeing all the decorations and hearing all the wonderful music and seeing all the old favorite tv shows & movies.

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    1817 days ago
  • RAINBOWFALLS
    I love the family time that we have over the holidays. I also make it a point to get some of them throughout the year, but we have a Christmas Eve tradition started by my mother that is still continuing after her death. My middle son loves it and I am glad we still have it. It is a hard time of year for me because I have lost a son and miss him so much, but for the others I do my best to smile. emoticon
    1817 days ago
  • FENWAYGIRL18
    I don't really have good memories as a child, my dad loved to drink and it seemed he was drunk every Christmas eve/ Christmas there was a lot of fighting and I remember the smell of stale beer on his breath.
    My parents weren't really big into getting up and watching me open my presents when I was really little, it seemed like it would be me alone or sometimes my mom would get up and kind of say hurry up.
    My best Christmas memories are with my hubby and son, every Christmas morning he'd have to come wake us up even if it was 5 am hahaha we'd get up and he and I would sit at the top of the stairs and wait for daddy to go down see if Santa came (that was so hubby could get the video camera ready to take pictures of him) then when I got down stairs I'd take the photos, oh how he so believed in Santa, he made Christmas more magical for me then when I was a child. The night before we'd always bake cookies ... leave milk out with the freshly baked goodies and go put reindeer food out on the lawn.
    When he got to be 10 yrs old we saw that movie about the kid not believing in Santa you know the train one and Santa gave him a bell from his reindeer and said only people who believe can hear the bell.
    I went looking for a bell because kids at school were saying there was no Santa, I wrote a special note from Santa because he always left a note to him and said I'm glad you believe that's why I left you a bell from my reindeer if you can hear it then you still believe in me.
    Of course he rang it and could hear it and I said I hear it too and he said wow mommy this is the best gift I ever got! My eyes teared up he believed in him for a few more years.
    My son gets that we can't afford a lot, he says mom even if I got nothing the best present is just spending the day with you and dad, that's all I need.
    Hubby and I no longer buy presents for one another we make sure our son has a nice Christmas because really giving to him makes me happy and is the best gift.
    The gift of love is always the best gift emoticon
    1817 days ago
  • MILLISMA
    I have some wonderful Christmas memories while growing up. The family always attended midnight mass then came to our house where we all celebrated. When I was too little to attend that mass, one of the relatives would stay with me but I always woke up when everyone returned. So much fun and laughter. I tried to make happy memories for my kids through the years. One of our favorite traditions besides all the other baking was to make cutout cookies. My kids are grown and on their own but Christmas Eve is still dedicated to making and decorating cutout cookies. I do hate the way Christmas has become so commercialized. And, you are right, you don't have to spend lots of money.

    Thanks for sharing and hoping that this year, your holidays are not only healthy but happy.
    1818 days ago
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