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Being off track is terrifyingly difficult!

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Friday, November 15, 2013

I fell off the wagon.

With my eating that is.

I took the wrong path and messed up most of the healthy habits I had fought for years to establish.

Why? Stress, hard times, overwhelming emotions. I let them take control of my meals and snacks. And they chose what I put in my mouth according to what they believed I needed. More carbs for comfort. More sweets to fight disappointment. More salty snacks to ease anxiety.

And this same pattern has been going on for months. In combination with a limited activity on Sparkpeople due to lack of free time.

And if you’re wondering what the scale has to say about this, well, it’s noticed the changes. And it has responded accordingly. But thankfully, not with a big change to its number. The damage has been kept to a minimum thanks to the only one good habit that I’ve managed to maintain: Exercise. The endorphins serve as my antidepressants and I intend to keep on using them. That’s one healthy habit that is here to stay. Maybe its form, duration and intensity change from time to time but it’s not affected by the bumps on my life road.

This morning, as I do every morning, I checked my emails while having a cup of coffee. To my surprise, I found no notifications from SP. I was so disappointed! The Sparkworld had abandoned me! Really???
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Hold on. Let me give this a second thought…
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No. The ugly truth is… I’m the one who has abandoned Sparkworld…

Together with my healthy eating habits, my maintenance mentality, my vigilance, my diligence, my battles for a strong and healthy version of myself. And I just took a look in the rear view mirror and realized what I’ve been doing to my life the past few months...

I’ve been making my life difficult.

Seriously. Being off track is really difficult if you think about it. And I don’t mean it’s difficult to happen. We all know that’s the easiest thing in the world. I mean its consequences are difficult. The results to our everyday life are difficult to manage.

Think about it. Isn’t it difficult to feel bloated all day just because you couldn’t say no to that bag of chips last night? Isn’t it difficult to cope with the fatigue that comes after a super-energetic period that was caused by an extreme elevation in your blood sugar levels just because you couldn’t resist trying all the available desserts? Isn’t it difficult to dread the scale at your weekly weigh-in just because you know you’ve stuffed yourself with tons of bad food? Isn’t it difficult to be in a constant agony and fear that all the weight you fought so hard to lose is slowly and sneakily going to creep back on?

Terrifyingly difficult.

And if this all reminds you of the “choose your hard” way of thinking, that’s exactly what it is. Because saying no to the bag of chips is difficult, too. Choosing wisely among the available desserts is also hard. But they’re moments. Moments of difficult decision-making, but able to make your everyday life so much easier! Difficult moments VS difficult life. We’ve got to choose our own difficult.

It’s about time I start making my life a different kind of difficult again.
The “easy”, healthy and strong kind of difficult.

I’m back, Sparkworld!
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