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Recipes for rebellion!

Thursday, November 14, 2013

I'm loving ONEKIDSMOM's series on the rebel. And the difficulties that the rebel causes for maintenance.

Because maintenance is about consistency, right? Which the rebel is not necessarily crazy about. But it may well have been the rebel who initiated the weight loss in the first place: because it's the rebel who tells the obese self, "I'm worth more". And who acts upon that decision. Refusing to "eat socially". Insisting upon making time for exercise. Even when that inconveniences others. And so we need the rebel. Yes we do. We need the rebel alive and well, so we can continue to refuse that social eating pressure, and that pressure to postpone our own needs to care for ourselves. But we need the rebel under reasonable control. As conceptually incoherent as that might sound.

OK then. Let's acknowledge it. The rebel probably helped us lose weight: and the rebel, excessively stifled and dishonoured, can also trigger regain, when the consistency regime becomes too rigid with respect to food, exercise or both. So how can I appropriately nurture my rebel?

I know that preplanning what I'm going to eat helps enormously with sustaining weight loss, because then I'm not facing 200 food choices a day. I've already decided. No choice, no choice, no choice: but still my choice, because I made it.

So, applying the same preplanning strategy, let me accommodate and nurture my rebel by preplanning acts of rebellion. At least one a day.

Preferably a non-calorie act of rebellion, right? Um, the potato chip act of rebellion not optimal?

My generally stuffy "professional" wardrobe is one opportunity for mild rebellion. Today, I'm wearing burgundy tights with an otherwise pretty conventional pencil skirt (leather though) and blazer and bow tie blouse. When I think about, I realize that I do try for one wardrobe rebellion daily. Maybe a silly pin on the lapel (I have a great rhinestone watermellen pin actually), or a pair of stiletto over-the-knee boots, or my bright blue pumps. (You can bet I don't wear any of the above when going to court, however!!)

Other rebellious acts? Bigger ones?

I rebel against the conventionally domestic role assigned to me by my gender. For example (and it's just one example) I don't do dinner parties any more. So done with that. And there are lots more domestic duties that I simply contract out or ignore. Let me count the ways. When all that domesticity was an integral aspect of motherhood, ensuring my kids were nurtured and protected and fed and clothed, I served my time. And now I don't need to. And I won't.

I rebel against the frenzy of Christmas gift shopping. Festive cheques (tiny ones) are good enough. And maybe one tiny tangible thing to go under the tree (now often ordered on line: found the perfect gift for DH and it's on its way). But you know what my kids want and need most? Yup, festive cheques. Easy.

I do (yes I do) fire those troublesome clients, a tiny minority, who cause me grief. Or preferably, refuse to be retained by them in the first place. If I spot them. Politely, firmly: but it's my choice. And I exercise it. Yeah. (Many many people who depend upon income from clients don't. But in my experience, they generate more distraction from real work and overall annoyance than income. So not worth it.)

OK then. Let's honour the spirit of rebellion that got us where we are today. The rebel who makes it possible to maintain.

What are you doing to rebel today? Let's share some great great rebellious ideas!

Rebel recipes!! More useful to me than food recipes: recipes for rebellion!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm rebelling against the concept of the clean plate club. And DH, who is a charter member of that club and who is a food pusher.
    1681 days ago
  • DALID414
    I rebel at work, too. I like to think of it as training my boss to be patient and trust that I'm doing the right thing.
    He has a habit of calling me at the office, if I don't pick up he'll call my cell phone, if I don't pick up then he e-mails me, just a subject line, no actual e-mail! Depending on the urgency (to him) he'll then call the boyfriend (we work in the same building).
    I don't get back to him until I'm done doing the right thing emoticon emoticon
    1681 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
    emoticon emoticon
    1681 days ago
    You've sparked my rebel spirit!
    1682 days ago
    I, too, liked what DSHONEYC said below: "I think being a rebel starts with being an individual. To thine own self be true. "

    So true. Maybe my rebel and yours are as different as you and I... but we know they have one thing in common... burst into broadway song here...

    "I gotta be MEEEEEE, I gotta be ME... what else can I be but what I am...?"

    Maybe Marsha's rebel is more of a conformist, but isn't that a form of rebelling against the extreme rebel? (Are your eyeballs twisted yet?)

    Bottom line... we don't have to be defined by a caricature of ourselves, or a stereotype imposed from without... we're allowed to have flaws and strengths and weaknesses... humanity... and slips and recoveries... bruises and blessings!

    Here's to a full, rebellious, colorful life! Spark on, my friend... emoticon
    1682 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/14/2013 6:46:44 PM
    Oh yeah, the rebel spirit is definitely alive and well in me! Today's act of rebellion? I guess I would say my weight training routine at the gym. I'm usually the only woman in the room and enjoy feeling fierce and fabulous!
    1682 days ago
    I'm working to wrap my mind around "planned" rebellion. Sounds a lot like organized chaos. emoticon
    1682 days ago
  • _LINDA
    I can just imagine that fabulous wardrobe of yours! For an amazing, intelligent high powered lawyer! Bet it would make everyone sit up and take notice if you did wear some of that eye grabbing wardrobe to court ;) So nice you don't suffer fools gladly and will not take clients that are a waste of your time. I like all the aspects of your life listed -true independence, even though you are married, you are not just another 'Mrs', for ever to be known by her husband's name.
    I agree with so many points you have made. Christmas shopping is truly a waste of time with young adults. They have specific needs and wants and you will never guess them. Money is the right size, shape and colour ;)
    Right now the rebel in me is soothed by the thought of a four day R & R at Mom's, with my sister coming in overnight Saturday for a stay as well. Shopping number one and maybe a movie too :) Nothing like retail therapy :P
    1682 days ago
    You do write some fascinating blogs that really get some great responses.

    I, on the other hand, will have to think about this for awhile. My brother is a real rebel and he has caused a lot of grief to a lot of people but he doesn't care. I guess I support being a rebel but in a civilized way and it sounds like that's how you are doing it.

    Still something to think about.


    1682 days ago
  • NANCY-
    Loved DSHONEYC's response.
    The rebel in me says to do what you need to do for you. Being true to yourself, you become admired or envied by others. You set the barre for yourself. You are not ruled, You rule!

    I admire those that do what they need to do for themselves and say the heck with what others think. (okay Miley Cyrus, is not a good example) But the hefty guy at the pool, the overweight gal out for her walk. These are folks with guts.

    Beside you can always rebel with flashy toe nail polish or Red Hot undergarments for court. Only you would know what secrets you behold.
    1682 days ago
    I hear your inner rebel! I am currently rebelling against having 200 different food choices in my day- whether to say yes or no to the unexpected treats. I'm rebelling for now by saying no (as it's also serving a purpose in the end).
    1682 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    You do inspire me so.
    I have just crossed off 'clean the house' from my very long 'things to do on my day off' list.
    Somebody else can do it, for a change!
    1682 days ago
    A rebel with a cause. Love it. Was hoping the potato chip rebel option was going to materialize but alas you're right again, certainly not optimal. I love little rebellious acts because they add such spice. Sometimes a hint of unnecessary guilt too.
    1682 days ago
    I am just now looking at maintenance... I have sooooo much to think about in this next big challenge.
    1682 days ago

    My rebel has been binging and I've had enough of that highly ineffective and self destructive act!!

    I love your non food rebellions!!

    For me: working with a trainer who is really making me face physical fears,embracing a smaller me, finding joys in being a single mom, playing my flute again, afternoon meditating, zany veggies, new funky clothing!!

    Much better than binge rebellions against myself!!
    1682 days ago
    Here's to the rebellion...

    Have always been a rebel of a sort. If it was "popular" or "trendy" I didn't want it. I think being a rebel starts with being an individual. To thine own self be true. There are so many roles we take on in our life. But they don't have to take over our life. When you can answer the question "Who am I" without answering with "what I am" I think you are ahead of the game. Rather than being the rebel, I strive for being unique.

    1682 days ago
    Love the rebel blogs of ONEKIDSMOM and you, too. Great ideas. -- Great insight into an aspect of personality that affects many people's ability to attain and maintain a healthy weight!

    But you ask and now I'm perplexed. Am I just obnoxiously conforming? Maybe. Do I have no rebel in me? Or maybe cutting back to part time work at age 60 and starting to run at age 61 and retiring to take care of grandkids at age 62 was all rebellion -- in some way. I bought a bikini which might have been rebellion, but then I've never gotten up the nerve to wear it, so maybe not so much. Hubby buys things at the grocery store that I say, not for me; like New York strip steaks and lasagna. I keep cottage cheese and beans and Boca burgers and tuna so that when he wants something not so healthy/too fattening/non-satisfying, I do my own thing. Guess that is a kind of rebellion. But I think the rebel in me is a very small part and there are many other aspects of my personality that are more significant for me to manage in order to maintain.
    1682 days ago
    So true that our own subversive natures can either help or hinder, depending on WHAT they are busily subverting. LOL

    When I first lost the weight my initial act of subversion was to wear as much hot pink as possible, especially while working out. I was so done with the baggy oversized drab T-shirts and shorts. And wearing hot pink on the river while kayaking, to advertise the fact that I was a GURL doing it.

    Whitewater kayking in general was an act of subversion.

    Now it's all about the sparkly twirly skirts I find in thrift shops to wear while contra dancing. I spent years trying to hide, and now I'm going to enjoy fun clothes. Because I can.

    And maybe it's helpful that you just reminded me of my greatest act of subversion so far: keeping the weight off for almost 4 years (hopefully for much much longer), and bucking those awful maintenance statistics.

    After all I'm an individual, not a statistic, and I will exercise my right to choose my own size.
    1682 days ago
    What a great way to think of it and to channel it in the right direction.

    I have to be honest, I am still in the weight loss stage and I use my rebel to be the only "different" person in the office who avoids the breads, pastas, sweets. Etc.

    I am a rebel when it comes to TV - don't have cable - don't want cable - really shocks my coworkers and friends. I just don't want the TV to be a main part of our (already too) busy lives!
    1682 days ago
  • KANOE10
    I am doing the same things with clothes. As the days get darker, I am staring to wear bright clothes or contrasting colors..sometimes with scarves. I am not worrying about whether people like my choices or not! I am making a statement for myself.

    I have been feeling the same way about Xmas shopping. My adult kids really need money and a check is exactly what they want! I like online shopping also. I want to stay out of the frenzy.

    I cannot choose my clients as I have to take students. I can however, manage the difficult ones and avoid staff members who are always negative and demanding.

    I am ready to continue to be a rebel in the holiday season. I know I will once again be the only one not indulging in the social staff parties. I am fine with that.

    Thanks for an interesting blog which provoke some self analysis.
    1682 days ago
    1682 days ago
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