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Did I lose my spark?

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

I'm not sure how I let myself get this far.

This summer I hit my "NOPE!" weight of 10 lbs up. Then, yesterday, when I checked, I was up 4 lbs from that. Now, This is not to say that 139 lbs is an embarrassing number, but it does take me back into the overweight category (*sigh* 5'2).

I don't feel less sparky. I've only climbed 2x a week for the last little while, and I've been missing my belly dancing class because it's far away and I'm not teaching, but I don't feel less active than before. I think food is the problem.

I've gotten complacent. I put on the "happy relationship weight" that is so infamous, and those aggravating last four pounds went on after moving in with the Boy. It's not even his fault! I haven't pulled anything out of the freezer to cook since we moved in. Sure, I'm still having my salads, but I'm not cooking dinner many nights.

I'm going back to basics (again). Monday, I made soup. Soup and salad are now my go-to lunches. Yogurt will be my go-to morning snack, and I'll make sure that I don't go nuts on the chocolate. I picked up the Hershey's Drops in halloween packs (4 drops/package), and 2 packages is quite enough without overdoing it on the calories: small amounts of chocolate keep me going, so I'm not temped to splurge on entire chocolate bars. Tonight, I'll raid the freezer for something meat-like to thaw and eat the leftovers of my chicken & rice.

One of the things making my return trip harder is the fact that I'm once again on a no-pop-kick. Aspartame bad, but caffeine useful. *sigh* I've been learning how to coffee, but right now that means the only coffee beverage I can drink is a "mocha" (aka, sweet chocolate in milk). Not the most calorie-conscious choice (and their "sugar-free syrup doesn't exist in Canada, so I can only get the fat-free milk, no whip option). Do I want to go back to Diet Coke to get me through this? I'm tempted, but drying not to. In the long run, I'm prepping myself because in he near future I might start thinking about kids. Coffee (in small quantities) is ok while pregnant. Diet pop? Not such a good idea, I believe.

So I've committed to ballet dancing (much closer to my new home, and a new, exciting experience that will likely help with my climbing), continuing to climb, and both skating and swimming once a week. If I can get another belly class to teach, I'll go back to belly dancing in a heartbeat: the distance is a deterrent as a student (too lazy to travel), but as a teacher, the commitment is there! I've started going to the gym again over lunch (on days when I won't be skating), because -- although I hate "working out" -- I need the extra activity to balance out my love of food! It's hard to eat under 1500 calories a day for me. I will continue walking to work as often as possible.

I can do this. I can drop the extra weight I've gained. I haven't really lost my spark: I'm still active, I still eat healthily. I have just wandered into complacency-land, where too much food and a comfy couch call my name. My poor couch is lonely!

Sorry, couch. We're going to have to spend some time apart. I'd really like to not be squeezing into my beloved Lulus... they really should be super-comfy, like you, not tight!

Sparkle on!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I bet you'll rock with the ballet! Keep on moving, if I find any extra spark, I'll send some your way. lol
    1832 days ago
  • LINDA!
    I have had the same problem. I am also short, 5'3", everytime the scale creeps us it is very noticeable and my clothes get tight. Take some time to do some cardio each day. Even if it is just 15 minutes it will still help. Keep Sparking. I find that reading others blogs and just reading Spark articles encourage me.
    1832 days ago
  • no profile photo CHICA_BORICUA
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1832 days ago
  • SUMMER2203
    SAME BOAT!!!!!!!!!! i am right there w ya sister. (and with ya on the 5'2"...although i am currently back up to 151.6...)

    let's get our food back on track!!!!
    1833 days ago
    I feel your pain with diet soda. I've started to quit several times (as I type this, I am staring at the bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper that I just emptied), but not with much success. But I think you're right - Quitting will be worth the effort.

    It sounds like you're doing so much right - you just need to tweak something to get back on track. Maybe your food logging? Since I've been married (9 years now) I gain weight as soon as I stop logging all of my food.
    Its those boys - they are a bad influence when it comes to calories.
    1833 days ago
    LOL. I understand about the the height thing. I'm 5'2" on a good day, but mostly I am just over 5 ft 1 inch.

    I hope you figure out what you need to do to get back to the life you want. Sounds like you have a good plan, plus ballet sounds fun. I love dancing though.

    Good luck and I hope you get your Spark back!
    1833 days ago
    Lol but just remember - your 139 is someone else's goal! (cough, me, cough) But if you're not comfortable, that is all that matters. Way to catch yourself and acknowledge how you feel and where you are. Now you set your sights on where you want to go and I know you'll do it! Ballet sounds AWESOME.

    I don't know if this will help, but google some articles about what "diet pop" (we call it soda here lol) does to your insides. Might scare you a bit?! Iced tea might be beneficial to you - that is sort of an inbetween water and soda? lol. GOOD LUCK!!!!!

    1833 days ago
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