Day One: Back on Track

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

I am declaring it day one, but I am still struggling. I came clean to my sponsor in NA about binge eating and throwing up my food. Although we both agreed I need to find therapy for these issues in particular, I tried yesterday to find a therapist who have slots that meet my schedule (preferably someone who someone I know uses because I had a really bad therapist last year), and my hours are so crazy at work that it's really tough to find those spots. She said she is willing to be someone I can call before I throw up. What I need, though, is to talk to someone before I eat like crazy.

Anyway, I have my meals planned today through Friday. I am keeping my goals within that time frame. Saturday, I am running the Spartan and I said that I would go to crepes with my boyfriend because I think the carbs will do me good in that situation.

Although I am eating few carbs in the next few days, I am choosing to eat that way because I do not get as hungry and panicked and likely to binge when I'm low carb. I don't necessarily want to stick to low carb as my plan. I don't know what I want right now to be honest.

Well, no, that's false. I want to be able to eat reasonable portions and not want to binge eat. I want to be able to lose weight. I want to continue exercising. I ran a 5k in 38:08 on Sunday, and plan to beat that time tonight (my Spartan teammate ran one in 37:55 so I need to beat him! haha). I just need to figure out the best way to get back on track. I like what someone said in the last entry about small changes. Even though I had a long time sticking to my plan for the majority of the time, I've fallen off in the past month and I need to take baby steps to get back on track. The extreme changes just aren't working right now.

I really struggle in the evening. I don't know what to do to ensure that I do not act on impulse during the evening.

I am proud of the fact that I didn't eat the cake that's in the teacher's lounge this morning.

I can do this. Thanks everyone for your continued support. It means a lot to me!
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