Stupid Me, Stupid People But Oh Yeah Did I Say Stupid Me?
Saturday, November 09, 2013
Stupid. Stupid stupid. I feel... dumbfounded. And hurt. And depressed.
I was with a few "friends" and I overheard them talking about me. This is what they said: "Have you seen Jenny? She looks like she's a 50 year old woman, look at her! What did she do with herself?? " (The 'look at what she looks like' is implied. It really hurt and it's been bothering me all day. I KNOW I look BAD but COME ON!!!!
Anyways that's been on my mind the whole day and it's the most hurtful thing anyone's said to me in awhile, because it's so personal. HOW DARE SHE?? I'm not mad/still stuck on hurt. And tears. Yep tears are flowing freely.
I also feel so bad about myself today, because of that comment, but hey that's not new. I feel like I've given up on dressing myself up and fixing my hair and wearing makeup. I just don't see the point. I hear some people say plus size girls should take better care of themselves than skinny girls because, well, they're plus sized. I read an article about that. I don't know, I just do what I feel and what I feel like doing is ... nothing. Why draw attention to myself if I don't have the confidence to back it up? I'm so disappointed in myself for getting this big.
Please, someone, say something.