Saturday, 11/9 Running on Empty
Saturday, November 09, 2013
I've been busy, overwhelmingly busy. I can't get time to do much of anything--I worked until after 6:30 twice this week. I can't seem to get caught up. I'm tired too, it is all I can do to work these days. Any thoughts on this?
As for pain, my bubble has burst. It seems as if these injections hav already worn off and aren't helping me. I don't know where exactly this will take me. I call the spine doc at Mayo Clinic at the end of the week. I intend to talk to Dr. F this week (Tuesday) to run everything that I've learned by him to see what his take is. My pain doctor knows my anatomy better than any other living soul but me. I do know that stress can exaggerate pain and fibromyalgia, so I am doing my best to eliminate my stresses and to manage what I can't eliminate in order to care for myself. I am faithfully keeping my pain journal, so hopefully we will find some patterns and triggers in it.
Speaking of, our 15 year old is going through the nastiest case of adolescent opposition that I have ever been through. He hasn't been kind or cooperative with me or Floyd in weeks and it is very hurtful. He is taking the bulk of his anger out on me, most likely because he has been able to talk to me and I have listened to whatever he has needed and wanted for his entire life. He seems to be striking out against me because he knows I love him and that I care. He is resisting all parental controls and decisions, and his resistance is hateful and hurtful. I'm trying to understand that it is a phase and not personal, but it wears me down when it doesn't let up on me. I have taken away his access to the Internet for as long as it takes. He moves between negotiating and anger...
Floyd got some orchid plants for our anniversary on Wednesday and he took me out to dinner. Last night, I left work just before 7 and Miles took Micah, his father and I out to dinner. There have been some nice things taking place this week. It is hard to enjoy them the way I'd like to with work being at the level it is at. I'm having a lot of difficulties with such an overwhelming workload that is getting increased multiple times a day at anybody's whims. I'm afraid to open my work email these days because of what it may tell me that I have to do that's an added activity. I have a good 8 hours of work sitting here this weekend and am hoping to catch up. Today is the day for my lunch date with my best friend, then I'm going to the pool before I go to school to do a couple of hours of work. It is my goal to get my work load under control during this three day weekend to give myself some respite. When work reconvenes. It's a gift to my well being like going to the pool.
That's about all I can share. I've been receiving notes from my friends who are missing me and my participation here. You are not forgotten, I am simply on over load and the real world trumps the cyber world. I have always hesitated taking on too much here at SP because I know what teaching can be about and how it can take more than it's fair share in my life. I do it because it is that important to start with and because I cannot do it any other way. I'm committed to my students and my profession right after my family. Everything else comes in next.
Please trust that I haven't forgotten and that ill be back when time allows and I have some breathing space. Wen a teacher misses work, that teacher has far more work than. Se had to start with. Tis is a big difference than any other vocation that I am aware of. Even I didn't expect all of this after missing 4 days last week.