Coming Off a Binge
Friday, November 08, 2013
I think I'm always going to have thoughts that bother me, that interact with my food choices. Maybe not for every meal, but there's always going to be me talking myself out of overeating. It's much better than it was before, MUCH MUCH Better. Maybe with time and hard work on my part it'll get completely better and go away.
I am talking about bingeing.(If you want to know what I've been up to read my last two blogs. Don't feel like bringing that up. Although if you comment about it, I won't mind and will appreciate it.)
I want to thank everyone that took time out of their day to respond to my-no exaggeration- cry for help and for support. It made me feel less alone going through this. Perhaps I need to find help from a therapist to help me some more. Although I'm identifying my thoughts and thinking pattern before I binge, I always seem to reach for something. I still need to figure out how to STOP and just shake it off.
Because of my situation, I think a firm meal plan would benefit me. When I haven't planned what to eat, I may not have anything in my house to eat (so many restrictions) so I end up ordering in or take-out.
But when I have a meal plan, it gives me a sense of reassurance that I am on top of my struggle, struggle to lose weight and overeat. It makes me feel better because I feel more prepared and honestly? Happier. I'm a much happier person when I am exercising and eating well. When I stop I feel miserable. I suppose I'll have to make a note of that once I go back to the gym: Don't miss a scheduled workout! It'll lead to low mood.
I of course can't go to the gym now, I am sick. But I can make a meal plan to follow. And, track my food. I think I'll get better at tracking if I can sit for half an hour and track my meals for the whole week. Then, it's simply a matter of logging on and making sure I have the foods at home.
I also think I need to soothe myself, from the inside, I need to give myself a little more care now. I'm looking forward to decorating my house for Christmas (starting next week) and embracing the spirit of the season. My faith in God is proving to be a lot more unshakeable than in the past, and I know that this time in my life is only temporary and God will see me through.
There's so many things I want to do and I don't want to keep stopping myself from living all my dreams. I am my greatest barrier.
I am feeling better than I did 2 days ago. I am slowly bringing myself back from the bad. Slowly is good enough for me.