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sad realization + increased determination + spark tracker

Thursday, November 07, 2013

Hi Spark-friends-

I had a sad realization 2 days ago. It was a comment from my husband (who is usually uber supportive) that kind of slapped me in the face. I made a comment starting with, "When I lose weight.... blah blah- *insert whatever here*". And he laughed. Laughed out of disbelief that I would actually lose the weight. And it hurt.

And then I realized that I have been trying to lose weight for 4 1/2 years- and I've lost and re-gained the same 10-15 lbs over and over.

It makes me sad to think about that. Everything else I set my mind to, I do it. But not this. This has just been too hard for me.

But then I got angry (on the inside). I've accomplished many things because of anger- other people not believing that I can do something is usually a HUGE source of motivation for me. So, I'm trying to save that biting laugh and channel it to determination.

I have to do this.

So, now on to the spark tracker. I think I like this better than the Body Media fit. I think it's challenging me more.

With the BodyMedia Fit, it counted all activity over a certain level as exercise- which translated into all the time I'm on my feet at work would be counted as work-out minutes- which would give me a false sense of security. I knew I should have dedicated actual work-out efforts in addition to my activity during a regular day (or night, depending on the shift), but I would see the numbers, and think, "well, that's good enough for now".

Also, being a naturally competitive person (not sure if that's a blessing or a curse), the Leader-boards are a source of motivation- pushing me to do more- and believe me, I NEED TO BE PUSHED. The weekly bronze, silver, and gold trophies, and trophies for cumulative miles are also pretty motivating.

Ok, so I'm coming to the end of a vacation (that included alot of vacation gluttony), so I'll make the trip home tomorrow, and then step on the scale for a rude awakening of how much I sabotaged myself yet again Saturday morning (because I only weigh myself in the morning), and then I will pick myself up and do better.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BRENDY_28
    i have been yo-yoing too (as you know) and everytime i would tell my family that i'm going to lose weight, they have this expression of disbelief on their faces. It hurts, to be honest. So I don't tell them of my plans to lose weight. I just show them through actions (exercising and controlling myself when it comes to food). They still have their doubts if i can maintain this new lifestyle, but i know that they are also hoping that i succeed. I've come to accept the situation and consider that as one of my motivation (to prove that i can do it) emoticon
    1652 days ago
    Yay! Go you! SparkPeople is awesome! Use the trackers, they really help to pinpoint strengths and weaknesses. Enjoy your motivation! Keep up the great work! emoticon
    1653 days ago
    emoticon We all have our trigger that spurs us on. Take whatever it is and use it to the fullest! emoticon
    1654 days ago
    I have had that same slap in the face from my husband. It hurts, but it's the truth. I have been trying to lose weight for 20 years. I did it once. I can do it again.

    It's amazing how much anger can be a motivator. You can do it. emoticon emoticon
    1654 days ago
    I too have gotten motivated by that sort of thing. Motivation out of anger. Motivation out of regret, guilt, fear, loss, blame, etc. It all works...initially.

    Finally I had to come to the cold hard fact that I am living my life doing the best I can for me.
    1654 days ago
    1654 days ago
  • SCRAPPER1124
    I was just thinking the same thing myself today. I think my family has heard I'm on a diet so many times they are like yeah, yeah, blah, blah. It's like the boy who cried wolf. I too have lost the same 10-15lbs but over the last 15 yrs ughhh. But here I am once again trying again I guess thats all we can do is get back in the saddle and hope this is the last restart. emoticon emoticon
    1654 days ago
    I find that anger and people telling me I can't do something are great motivators myself. Nothing like "I'll show them!!!" to jump start me. Good luck. I'm rooting for you!

    emoticon emoticon
    1654 days ago
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