Limitations Are Only Temporary
Thursday, November 07, 2013
I had another TOUGH ST session yesterday and I'm sore again today. I thought my push-ups were great a week ago. Well, we concentrated on refining them this week and as of yesterday, according to my PT, they are PERFECT! According to my muscle soreness, they must be cuz my pecs are killing me! TOM is on the way and my hormones are def off. Plus I didn't sleep well Tuesday night, so my ST was that much harder yesterday. I knew going in that I wasn't functioning at peak. So we took my RDL down to 3x8 105, instead of 3x6 115. Dropped my OHP from 75 to 65 for the day. All else stayed the same. I pushed to failure on everything so I'm happy. I've had a few revelations lately that just prove how strong my mind is getting, right along with my body. Use to be if my scale was up, it sent me into a tailspin. I felt like a complete failure and tore myself apart mentally and emotionally. Now, with my new healthy eating, I know certain foods and drinks are going to make the scale rise - sometimes ALOT! But since I have identified those foods, I also know it's TOTALLY temporary. Case in point - we went out for Mexican to celebrate my yDSs birthday on Saturday. Sunday my scale was up to 159! That's over 5 pounds overnight! FLUID!!!! Not fat!! Fluid from my body attacking the foods that it is sensitive to, that it sees as a threat! I got back to basics, eating just what my body needs and thrives on and totally eliminating everything my body is sensitive to and by Tuesday, I was back to 154.4. If that's not enough proof that I am in control mentally AND physically, I have another example. The first time I wasn't "feeling it" for my work out, I felt like a failure. I was disappointed that I couldn't lift what I had the week before. I beat myself up, internally calling myself a failure. Yesterday, lack of sleep and hormones played a part in my ability. I saw it during my rowing warm up. I was just slower! I felt like I was casually rowing, rather than warming myself up for a good work out. No matter what, I couldn't pull it out of my reserve tank. But instead of letting that get me down, I just accepted it as where I was at the time. I understood it was temporary and just where my body was for the day. I shared my insight with my coach. She said she could see it in my eyes, my face. I looked tired. I WAS tired! So we took my wo down a notch and worked within my ability range - for the day! I was ok with that! No feelings of failure. No disappointment. Just personal acceptance. Now, I ask you, why has it taken me 52 years to come to a healthy acceptance of my body's changing ability? I can't possibly be at peak all the time. Stress, lack of sleep, hormones, emotions, quality of food, and so many other things play a part in where my head is at and my head decides where my body will be for the day. That's perfectly ok! To sum it up, I have become much kinder to myself. I understand and interpret my body so much better. So my RDL limit yesterday was 105. Next week it could very we be 125! We accept our limitations when we're sick. Why does it take us so long to do the same when we're just not quite feeling it? I can't answer that but I can tell you that when we reach that point, it's incredibly empowering!! So, my weight no longer controls me because I know what I need to do to fix it when it's out of whack. And I know it's only TEMPORARY! My performance level no longer controls me because I know I will have daily fluctuations caused by any number of unrelated issues and that, too, is only TEMPORARY! Temporary DOES NOT determine my value! Only my specific point in time, which is TEMPORARY! I wish it hadn't taken me 52 years to realize all this but that's how long it took me to realize that what I eat has such a tremendous impact on my entire well being. No use crying over spilled milk. Whether 25 or 52 years, I'm here now and I'm moving forward. That's my reflection for this week!