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I went to the gym today. That's a start

Wednesday, November 06, 2013

On Sunday I called work and told them that I wouldn't be in for the week. They were great, got a reliever, and told me not to worry. I'm so grateful for the week off because being bereaved is exhausting. I am so tired despite sleeping a solid 8-9 hours every night.

I am fully involved in the funeral. As the only grandchild in the area, and probably the one that was closest to grandpa, I felt it was right to do as much as I could. I made the programs, and I'm making a slide show of pictures that will play after the funeral during the 'cup of tea' portion. I'm also giving a eulogy and I'm a pallbearer. It doesn't feel like enough, but it is keeping me busy. I have also made sure to be at the meetings with the funeral director and chaplain.

Today I needed some time for me so I went to the gym. It was glorious. I felt like a normal person doing normal things for the first time in a few days.

This afternoon we went to the funeral home for the viewing. It was very hard to say goodbye for the last time, but I'm glad my last memories are of him looking peaceful, instead of how he looked the day he died (I was with him when he passed).

Tomorrow is the funeral. I am speaking on behalf of the grandchildren, and if my dad can't say the Ode of Remembrance I am his backup. As I mentioned I'm a pallbearer with my dad and some other family members. It is going to be an emotionally draining day.

Luke and I are going to take some time this weekend for ourselves. I need a break.
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