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What have I done? Doing?

Wednesday, November 06, 2013

I am sitting here,,, kinda SHOCKED over how the past 2 yrs have gone. I am looking for help at my home. The person who came by today, had my old records. Now I've been with SPARKS for 3 yrs,,,, and about 1 1/2 yr ago,,,i was down to 170 !!!! Than I had the stroke,,,, and got VERY SCARED !! I turned at once, to an old friend ,, "FOOD" !!!! And than I moved from Maine to Colorado,, with "Family" who were supposed to help "me out" , but instead I ended up bein ripped off from them financially,, as is often the case with "family" who do not always care about ur well being as they "had said", but rather just wanted $$$$ from me. well of course that TOOK ME BACK !! And I ATE more.

A few months, ago, I finally got back into my own place,,, with NO "family" living with me. Thanfkully the rip off's are still in CO, and may they STAY THERE !!!

So my weight during these past 1 1/2 yr,, had gone from that 170 up to 224 !!! That's 52LBS !! WHAT HAPPENED????? Why did I NOT See this,,,or CARE???? I SHOULD OF !!! I know emotionally things were very hard. Still I feel a LOT OF ANGER over this towards the way "I REACT to stress".

At this point, this week,,,, I woke up yesterday,, feeling very unwell physically,,, I could not move my right side easily,, and it scared the woohoooo out of me. So yest and today, I've been eating ALL WRONG. I NEED to get it back together,,,, and eat correctly. I had recently gone from that 224 down to 207.25. I DO NOT NEED to go BACK UP and yet, this week,,, I MAY do that,, ,all cos I've gotten so scared. My eating habits as it is,, is atrocious as my Mom has always told me. I am the QUEEN of NOT eating healthy. Freggies gag me in general. Though tonight for supper,,,Ill do my best to swallow a salad.

Words of wisdom? Things which work for you when ur under a lot of stress?

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hey Team Mate, I believe that everyone has well covered any advice that I could give, but I do want to enforce something if I may. With the issues you have had recently please don't develop a negative self image about you. No one deserves to be ripped of by "family". However, it sounds like you have been effective in putting that behind you and are now ready to go right back to being healthy.

    1683 days ago
    I'm not really good with advices, but now especially you should take care of yourself. The thing that really helped me at the beginning, when I weighed myself first time in a few years and saw a really BIG surprise in numbers on a scale, was to think of eating good food in reasonable amounts and exercising as about taking care of myself, not as about measures of getting thinner. So maybe you should try to shift your focus and to think and care about yourself as about child. You wouldn't stuff a child with all this food, especially after you've joined the Spark and read all this article on healthy nutrition, I guess. Also thinking that you ate too much multiplies your stress levels. I found a book by Neil Fiore "The now habit". It's about procrastination mostly at work, but I think you can apply its principles to many other areas, and losing weight as well. I myself is an emotional eater too, so it made me to look on some things from the different angle. You're really nice person and from your letters I see that you care for everyone on this team. You should care of you like you do this for all of us. Hope you'll like your salad. emoticon Take care emoticon
    1684 days ago
    Diane,I am always here if you want to talk,I think that while many people see you know what needs to be done,they don't understand the fear that sends you back to your old friend food Correct me if I am wrong but I sense you ate this week much more because you were worried about how your body was behaving than because you simply did not want to be good.Sometimes when you are badly injured as we are you feel like you have so little control.Doctors decide when you get operations pain is controlled by weather and activity and just cause and sometimes we just think screw it all I can control what I eat.We just have to talk ourselves into realizing we can control it for the good too.hugs,Cheri
    1686 days ago
    I see from your nutrition tracker that you eat starches.
    Have you tried Lo Mein loaded with veggies like broccoli, julienne carrots, snap peas, and water chestnuts and chicken/shrimp/thin strips of pork tenderloin (you can probably find a bag medley of those veggies in the frozen food section).
    Or how about a stir fry...just add chicken/shrimp/thin strips of pork tenderloin to a medley of veggies and add just a tbspn of some type of sauce....
    you would be surprised
    1686 days ago
    I'll say DITTO to what the others have said - you know what the problems are, you know what you should be doing - and you are the one who can make those things happen. Go for walks, do some cardio dancing in your kitchen or living room, see if there is a walking group where you live that you could join. I know in Florida and Chicago (for example) there are groups that get together and do a good bit of walking in large shopping malls, because they are dry and climate controlled and generally safe. Check with your doctor(s) before you jump into any exercise program, but do what gets the best results for you in terms of health and well being. emoticon
    1686 days ago
    I go out for fresh air and get away from that kitchen/fridge!!! Enjoy that salad-I am proud of you!!! Hugz, Moni emoticon emoticon
    1686 days ago
    You see the problem, and know what you NEED to do. Now you just need to convince yourself to do what you need to do. Would you rather feel sick and tired with the extra weight, or stronger and more mobile at a healthy weight?
    1686 days ago
  • MSHEL7
    Most of the wisdom is in your very own words. You know what you do, when you do it, now you just need to be aware that when you are feeling scared and insecure you eat. You might need to take up a hobby that helps keep you mind off of those things in your life as you work on getting healthy. I hope you are feeling better today.
    1686 days ago
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