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Hard days

Monday, November 04, 2013

Yesterday was awful. It started off well -- church with lots of hugs from dear friends . . . the sort of folks that I can talk about pain with and not get blank stares or quick reassuring comments (you know, the sort that make it clear that your hurt isn't welcome here). But the afternoon and evening left me in tears. Okay, weeping might be a better word. It is strange how grief operates. You think you are okay, then WHAM!

I'm doing better this morning, but arrived to a voicemail that included the line "I hear you are pregnant -- congratulations!" I find this rather interesting, as I didn't mention my pregnancy publicly except to say that I was pregnant and things weren't looking good -- followed less than a week later with news of my miscarriage . . . unless she never heard the word after my first pregnancy. I'll admit to feeling a bit of a sting there.

In good news, I'm back to 187, where I started this pregnancy (my old scale had a lower number, but I switched just before my pregnancy -- I think it weighs heavy, but consistency is key, right?). I did track food for over a week, so am to my first goal. I got in 4 days of exercise (one below that goal, so aiming for this week). I lost 4 pounds last week. Aiming for 2 his week to be at my first weight loss goal. This last week included lots of eating out, so I'm proud for making good choices in the midst of days that I really just wanted to load up on fries. Yesterday's food intake was mainly candy, but trying to eat real food again today and meal planning so we don't run out of food . . .
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm glad that you were able to share your grief with some of your friends. I'm sorry that you had to hear that message, it couldn't have been easy. A 4 pound loss is huge and good job getting back down to 187! It sounds like your eating and exrcise (minus the candy) are really getting back on track.

    Has the exercise been helping with your mood at all?

    1663 days ago
    I hope you will rely on those "dear friends" and don't think you need to shoulder this burden all by yourself. Congrats to you for taking care of yourself and good job continuing to eat as well as you can.
    1664 days ago
    emoticon Keep your chin up! it will get better!
    1664 days ago
  • TINA5111
    1664 days ago
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