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Scattered thoughts from a disorganized brain

Sunday, November 03, 2013

Scattered, inconsistant, and disorganized.....that's how I've lived most of my 36 years.

I know I'm fat....I know about 15 different ways to help the problem, but I try to implement them all at once, do them for a short period of time, and then stop. I'm terrible with the follow-through. Lazy....there's always something else I can do....an excuse. I lack consistency.

These are the things I constantly tell myself....my inner dialog.....I take things in and analyze why they are happening and almost always come to the conclusion that they are my fault.

I can definitely go back in life and point out many times when I've felt "inadequate", or that nothing I do is good enough......no matter what. I can sit myself on my own "psychological couch" and discuss what this has done to me....how holding things in and personalizing things, running from confrontation, accepting others' beliefs of me, and comments to me have caused me to not only retain hurts, but fat too......

......but what good does that do me? Where is the solution? There is a reason psycologists have such a high suicide rate...they can diagnose their own problems, but find no hope for help.....

Thank God, I have His grace and hope through him....something a lot of "shrinks" don't have......

Disorganized scattered thoughts....trying to grasp some semblance of a starting place for getting rid of all this physical and emotional weight.....

Prayers would be appreciated!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • PGHP31CK
    Each new day is a new start. There's fresh grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love each morning!

    I agree with NELLJONES and RUNNINGOMA -- start with small steps. Pick one goal a week to work on (say, tracking your food, or getting 10 minutes of exercise each day, or even drinking 8 glasses of water). Reward yourself for reaching your goal (SparkGoodies make GREAT non-food treats!), continue with the old goal, and set a new one.

    This journey is all about creating new, healthy habits.

    When I started my current weight loss journey 2 1/2 years ago, I was "sprinting a marathon", so to speak. I was so desperate to get the number on the scale down that I was overdoing the exercise, and convinced my body that I was starving to death! I lost about 30 pounds, and hit a plateau that lasted over a year.

    In September, I came back to SparkPeople, and started working on small steps. It seems to be working!

    I'm praying for you (that the Holy Spirit will provide guidance & clarity), and I'm cheering you on! You CAN do this!

    1630 days ago
    Thank you all so much for your encouragement, tips, and understanding. It helps just to know someone else understands and/or has been there. emoticon
    1630 days ago
    Just pick one thing and work on that until you are good at it. When you start school you don't take all 40 classes at once. When you are pursuing athletic development you take one skill at a time and practice until you are good at it then move on to the next thing. Both of those pursuits have advisors and trainers to help, but with weight loss, it feels like you are on your own, like with just a little steel you should be perfect every day. If only. Pick one thing, get good at it, then add another thing and get good at that. You know what to do, we all do, but no one has the steel to change everything at once.
    1631 days ago
    Sometimes it helps to just jot down those scsttered thought.
    1631 days ago
    Sounds like you and I are in the same place, in more ways than one.
    1631 days ago
    I'm praying. I know this journey is a difficult one with no easy answers on getting a grip once and for all on this. However, we do know that we can accomplish losing weight with God's help.
    So, instead of starting all of those 15 things. What is the one you can start today? Strive for better rather than perfect.
    As a very busy wife/mom/Christian/coach (oh the list goes on!) we have to remember to plan time to take care of ourselves, which is easier said than done - and even hard for us to not feel selfish because we are so used to giving to others.
    But even Jesus withdrew from the crowds at times.
    Sending you a big hug! You can do this!
    1631 days ago
    Praying for you! You can do this
    1631 days ago
    Let me clarify, I am not, nor have I ever been, nor will I ever be suicidal....I have hope in God and a peace that passes all understanding and know who my heavenly Father is.

    "Why should I feel discouraged. Why should the shadows fall. When Jesus is my portion. A constant friend is he. His eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches me." emoticon
    1631 days ago
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