Tuesday, October 29, 2013
I have been in a funk for weeks now, as indicated in previous entries. I am starting to feel a little better, more functional, but I am struggling with food so much. It is the time of year that I usually begin falling off the diet wagon. Halloween tends to be a trigger and then all the other holidays follow suit.
I gained a lot of weight over the course of the last week. I cheated last Friday with some beans and chips at a Mexican place. Then Saturday I ate some honeycrisp apples with peanut butter. Then Saturday night into Sunday was a full out binge, filled with candy galore. I weighed myself today and the scale says I've gained seven pounds at this point. I am hoping some of that is mere water weight, but I honestly wouldn't be surprised.
I have been eating so much. It is hard. Even eating low carb, I still feel hungry lately. My body is like revolting against me. I hate it. I just want to get under 200 and stay there, and I've been up and down, but near that goal, for two months. It is frustrating.
I need to start getting more committed. I told myself that I was becoming obsessed, which was true, but I can't just totally throw it to the wind either. That won't help. I need to keep a good, balanced, healthy focus.
I have had two consecutive successful days of eating primal even though I have a constant STRONG desire to eat things that are bad for me. How do people do it?!