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Random Thoughts about Goals - Fear of Failure or Just Happy to Be Progressing?

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

A few weeks ago I ran into the woman who inspired me to finally make the decision to pursue WLS. She's lost well over 100 lbs, looks great and is REALLY into Zumba. I've texted her when I've achieved what I considered significant milestones (surgery date, 50 lb loss, 100 lb loss, etc.) I thank her for her inspiration and support.

What's been rattling around in my brain and poking me since I last saw her was her reply to my news that I hit 100 lbs down. She asked if I was 'at goal weight yet?'

My goals have always been to get off all my co-morbidity conditions meds emoticon , lower my blood pressure and avoid getting diabetes (I was on the cusp.) That said, I met my goals immediately after WLS (getting off meds), having normal bp and NO diabetes. Getting healthy was and is my priority. Smaller sizes for me are the icing on the cake (that I no longer eat :)

Numeric goals like a certain weight or having to do something physically competitive (like running a 5K) stress me out. I haven't figured out why that is yet. emoticon

I like to do things 'my way'. I'm ok with my sloooooowwwww weight loss (now 1-2 lbs/month). I'm ok with walking and occasionally jogging more and more steps. I DO count them and like see them increase, but don't have a fixed number that I HAVE to achieve.

Maybe that's why this time is different for me. Every time I achieved my 'goal weight' as defined by others (WW, dr, peers), I would freak out and gain it all back plus more.

The most memorable time for me is when I actually achieved the weight that's listed on my driver's license (160 lbs) emoticon I spoke about it at an OA meeting, realized what I was saying and immediately began the upward gain to 300lbs. emoticon

So for now I'm focusing on today. For me, each day is emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I think the important thing is that you are happy and feeling good! Too often we let others define our success...not a good way to live or find happiness.
    I balance this with an awareness that it can be easy to be complacent with a weight that still leaves us heavier than optimal. After a huge weight loss, and coming from morbid obesity, being simply 'overweight' feels and looks so much better....
    emoticon emoticon
    1663 days ago
    I know what you mean, I think I am sabotaging myself right now keeping myself from that one more lb to 100. I am at 99 and holding and cheating with little bits of candy, and carbs. Not running as much. Hmm, I am walking and working in higher stress due to more hours and complicated issues at the office with accounts receivables/billing help changes. I am struggling to deal with this and the approaching surgery for hernias that I am not pleased or excited about. I am doing it this physical year before Obama Care and while my deductibles are all paid up or I would wait.

    Hang in there and do it your way, there is no other way best for you! Just like I have to figure me out :)
    1664 days ago
    Most of the time our brains and how we think are our biggest enemies!
    Remember how your Dr wants to use you in a study about sucesful WLS candidates.
    He thinks you are a poster girl, and so do I.
    1664 days ago
    Well said!! My goals for WLS were also to "get healthy!" I have had some MAJOR speedbumps along the way, but my focus was always to get rid of my diabetes, high blood pressure and heart issues - and I did! Now that I'm recovering from my latest illness, it's time to get motivated again.

    Although, I must say, it is nice to hear my doctors say, "If you are happy with your weight, then so am I!"
    1665 days ago
  • HINK2013
    emoticon GREAT POINTS!! And you have achieved so much this past year, you should feel great about the progress that you have made this year!!!

    So good to make this about a complete lifestyle change and to make that the focus.... just working to get to a NUMBER really shouldn't be the end goal (IMHO).
    1665 days ago
  • CSYOUNG1952
    I'm with you Patty my goal was reached the day I left the hospital and I'm very happy with the results.


    1665 days ago
    I agree and that is why I am setting other types of goals and activities along the way. This is not a diet for me but a life style change in more then one area. emoticon
    1666 days ago
  • AUNTB63
    Every one takes this journey or should with their own goals in mind. If I were you I would have made the same goals of getting off the meds etc. This is not a race to lose weight unless you make it that way. I prefer the slow and steady approach myself. I took off 63 pounds, but I took me 3 years to do it. I had 20 pound goals (per year). Some would say that was not ambitious, but I didn't care what others said (or thought) I did too many years of yo-yo dieting so this time around I wanted to be prepared to be able to keep it off. YOU have the right attitude for what will work for you. Keep up the great job having many more successful years. emoticon
    1666 days ago
    "Maybe that's why this time is different for me. Every time I achieved my 'goal weight' as defined by others (WW, dr, peers), I would freak out and gain it all back plus more. "

    I can really relate to that. Everyone's journey is different. YOU define what makes YOU happy.

    Thanks for posting this...its helping me re-evaluate my own journey too.
    1666 days ago
  • JUDY106
    I agree with you completely. It happen to me also. I lost at one time 150 lbs without WLS. and then gain it all back with two years. i Then later on down the years had WLS due to my health failing. I have to take it 1 Day at a time now and focus on getting healthy not the goal weight. I am down 88 lbs . It has been slow for me even with WLS, but I am in a lot better health now and can do more things (actives). I am 58 yrs old and I guess the age has something to do with the very slow weight lost. I am happy to just have progress toward good health. Loved your blog. Hugs Judy
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1666 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/29/2013 11:18:50 AM
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