-ICANDOIT-
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Just Darn MAD!

Monday, October 28, 2013

OK...I did what I said I was afraid I was going to do....I gained back most of what I lost!

How?

I don't friggen know!!!!!! I stopped caring, believing, trying, watching, recording....you name it...all the things that worked- I did not do them.

It took me so many squats, so many runs, so many bike rides...it took so long to get my scale to budge...and when I wasn't looking (cuz my face was in the pantry in a bag of cookies) most of it came back. I didn't even break a sweat! ARRRRGGGHHHHH! WHY OH WHY do I keep doing this???

This is part of my journey. I am not "starting over"....I have already been there, done that. But I am going to sharpen my focus. There is still time to get to some of those goals for the new year. Not all is lost!

I miss
- my jeans being baggier
- my tummy feeling flatter
- "fitting" better when people hugged me- esp my honey!
-feeling good about myself
-having people not know exactly why but thinking I looked better

I MISS BEING IN CONTROL! I MISS FEELING LIKE I CAN DO WHAT I SAY I WILL! I MISS FEELING LIKE I CAN CHANGE! I MISS BELIEVING IN MYSELF!!

Ah...that didn't feel good, but I needed to shout it out.

So, as in all the times before, I focus...do what works.....so back to my weekly blogs with weekly goals!

This week (which will end next Wednesday)
- blog every Wednesday with progress- good and ugly
- LOW CARB
- no soda
-more water
- 500 Squats
-log into Sparks every day

SW: 168.6 (%#@**7##@@) I HATE THAT NUMBER!!!!!!!

I have proven to myself that with intention and focus, I can do this. I can. Now, I just have to do all that work to redo what I already did before I can keep doing what I had already started to do.

Sucks, doesn't it?

Was the cookie, ice cream, soda, etc worth all of it?

NO. Not al all. Never. NO. N--O---- NONONONO.

(Note to self...reread this blog often and remember these feelings.)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SMALLERMELORIE
    I love the blog, it seems to remind me, speak to me, and help me.

    Lets do this together. We can do it and keep moving forward.
    2720 days ago
  • KOSHIE1
    You wrote it down! GREAT!
    Print it and post it on the fridge.
    Every little slip up -- post it on the fridge. Those post-it notes add up to a motivator that gets better and better as they pile up!
    Step TWO:
    "I don't friggen know!!!!!! I stopped caring, believing, trying, watching, recording....you name it...all the things that worked- I did not do them. " Figure out how to KEEP caring, trying.... That is a hugely important process!

    We are all going to slip. The trick is to stop yourself from wallowing in the cookies ASAP and get up ASAP and get going again ASAP.

    One more thing: Remember Yoda? "Do, or do not. There is no try." Even if you are doing it badly, you ARE doing it! So quit THINKING you can do it! KNOW it!
    2726 days ago
  • KROLES55
    You have the tools within you.. You can get back on track and stay on track..
    2726 days ago
  • PONYFARMER
    I too put on some weight, probably 8-10 pounds and so I am sadly riding in the same boat with you going down the stream always seems so calm and peaceful until you turn the boat around and try to paddle it back upstream. Ugh!

    So hear we go!!

    emoticon I know we can. I have missed seeing you around, so now that we are in the same boat we can talk more often. Though to be honest, I get lost in my own thoughts a whole lot.

    emoticon

    EDIT: Oh and yes it was a push from God when you became MOD. Grab that motivation and go with it. He is smiling down on you and wants the best for you.
    2727 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/29/2013 4:01:31 PM
  • DIVAGLOW
    You've got the positive attitude to get yourself back on track. You can do this! You've got this!
    2727 days ago
  • FIERCEONE4PEACE
    You'll get back there! It is a constantstruggle. you are amazing!
    2727 days ago
  • WHITNEY0814
    Loved the blog! You are so right and I am also very familiar with that feeling!!

    You can do it!!
    2727 days ago
  • KENDRACARROLL
    emoticon emoticon
    It's not a do over, just another step on your journey.
    Logging into SP daily and checking in with my SparkFriends is part of my program. Can't imagine being without.
    Good luck. Wishing you much success on your journey.
    2728 days ago
  • CHERIRIDDELL
    You can do it !
    2728 days ago
  • HIKETOHEIGHTS
    emoticon reading your blog reminds me of that quote "food doesn't taste as good as skinny does" something like that. glad you are sparking again!!
    2728 days ago
  • DAWNWATERWOMAN
    I can totally relate to your frustrations. Good for you on getting more focused. I'll look forward to reading your blogs. emoticon
    2728 days ago
  • 1HAPPYSPIRIT
    emoticon emoticon
    2728 days ago
  • TATTER3
    Bless your heart. Start again...and again and again...this is for you!!
    2728 days ago
  • UNICORN212
    ...and post a copy on the fridge and another on the pantry!

    Maybe the Sunny challenge can help you get back on track - 4 veggies & 1 fruit on 5 days out of 7, and 200 cardio minutes. You can do it!

    2728 days ago
  • WOUBBIE
    Yup. Print it out and have it laminated.
    2728 days ago
  • EVER-HOPEFUL
    how love great to see you bloging again and that you are back on the right path again.it is so easy to loose are way sometimes but with a bit of determination and a fighting spirit we can find our way back.like you have done and are doing.so proud of you love for not giving up altogether.look forward to following your progress along this rocky path to a healthy lifestyle that we are all on.you can do this.you did it once before you can do it again.did i say i was proud of you?if i didnĀ“t know that i am emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2728 days ago
  • -GOT2FINISH-
    I'm right there with ya dear! I have no focus right now--to many other things my mind is on! And of course sitting on my butt in the evenings doesn't help one bit! Not sure why we keep getting off that path & rolling back down the hill. But one thing I know for sure~~
    I know You Can Do It!!!
    2728 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

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