Will this ever happen?
Sunday, October 27, 2013
I am back... again... -- This time now the heaviest I've ever been.
Many things have happened since then. I finished up school and now have passed the CPA exam and have a new job. I love my job and I don't want to change it, but it doesn't play well into a great routine. During busy season I won't have much of a chance to exercise and may be away from home for a week at a time in a hotel forcing myself to have to eat out.
To make things even harder is that I found out my new insurance does not cover anything related to weight loss -- no weight loss programs, surgery, medicine, nothing :(. I'm completely on my own.
I would love to get into a routine and do a lifestyle change and learn how to eat well, but I don't think that is going to happen. What I plan to do is probably against every weight loss/lifestyle change/diet thing that is out there. I am going to follow what the Dr stated when I was there in 2012. I was eating their food, which I had to stop because I was having side effects. Basically replace "their food" with slim fast, special K, smart ones, etc. The Dr. had me eating their food for breakfast, lunch, and snacks and then I could have a meat and vegetable for dinner. It was working great. I was losing weight until I had side effects related to "their food" -- won't get into details. It was working for me because I was forced to only eat that food. I didn't have a choice. I do not have self control -- I really think I am a food addict. When I know I'm going to have a good (by mean good I mean really unhealthy fatty meal) I get super happy and it makes my day.
Downfall of that was once I couldn't just eat their food I went right back into my spiral of not eating right. I know I need a lifestyle change and learn how to eat right so I can maintain that. Right now my goal is to lose weight. If I have to replace "their food" with slim fast or whatever else then that's what I will do. I know this will not be a long term fix. I know it is probably against all weight loss strategies. However, I look at it this way -- 1. I need to lose weight - period. 2. The Dr. was ultimately just literally having me do the same thing.
Once I start losing weight or get to a certain goal of weight then I can look into having to do a lifestyle change. I don't want to have to do it this way. I'm afraid it will only last a few months, but at this point i'm out of ideas.
Hopefully my next blog will be a positive one. I'm going to try to make small weight goals rather than look at the big picture -- pretty much having to cut my weight in half and be half the size I am.