Will this ever happen?

Sunday, October 27, 2013

I am back... again... -- This time now the heaviest I've ever been.

Many things have happened since then. I finished up school and now have passed the CPA exam and have a new job. I love my job and I don't want to change it, but it doesn't play well into a great routine. During busy season I won't have much of a chance to exercise and may be away from home for a week at a time in a hotel forcing myself to have to eat out.

To make things even harder is that I found out my new insurance does not cover anything related to weight loss -- no weight loss programs, surgery, medicine, nothing :(. I'm completely on my own.

I would love to get into a routine and do a lifestyle change and learn how to eat well, but I don't think that is going to happen. What I plan to do is probably against every weight loss/lifestyle change/diet thing that is out there. I am going to follow what the Dr stated when I was there in 2012. I was eating their food, which I had to stop because I was having side effects. Basically replace "their food" with slim fast, special K, smart ones, etc. The Dr. had me eating their food for breakfast, lunch, and snacks and then I could have a meat and vegetable for dinner. It was working great. I was losing weight until I had side effects related to "their food" -- won't get into details. It was working for me because I was forced to only eat that food. I didn't have a choice. I do not have self control -- I really think I am a food addict. When I know I'm going to have a good (by mean good I mean really unhealthy fatty meal) I get super happy and it makes my day.

Downfall of that was once I couldn't just eat their food I went right back into my spiral of not eating right. I know I need a lifestyle change and learn how to eat right so I can maintain that. Right now my goal is to lose weight. If I have to replace "their food" with slim fast or whatever else then that's what I will do. I know this will not be a long term fix. I know it is probably against all weight loss strategies. However, I look at it this way -- 1. I need to lose weight - period. 2. The Dr. was ultimately just literally having me do the same thing.

Once I start losing weight or get to a certain goal of weight then I can look into having to do a lifestyle change. I don't want to have to do it this way. I'm afraid it will only last a few months, but at this point i'm out of ideas.

Hopefully my next blog will be a positive one. I'm going to try to make small weight goals rather than look at the big picture -- pretty much having to cut my weight in half and be half the size I am.
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  • no profile photo CD14204896
    Maybe if you start making small changes, it won't be such a shock to you and your body? Once you see that you can make small changes you will have built up momentum enough to make bigger changes? It's not a race, just know that you CAN do it.

    Best wishes to you :)

    2643 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14162141
    I wish I could give you a big hug and assure you that you CAN make changes , you CAN feel good about yourself, you CAN lose weight and have a healthy lifestyle. If I can, you can. May I suggest you read the Spark Solution? It's extremely helpful for those of us that have little trust in ourselves and our ability to make good choices. It teaches you to set a small goal, find success in that, and build on each success along the way. Please don't give up on yourself. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2643 days ago
    First, be kind to yourself. Try to find the positive in the fact that you have made the commitment to be here! You had the courage to blog honestly about your feelings. That is wonderful!

    As for staying in hotels and food... my husband and I travel a LOT. We stay in hotels that have a kitchen and fridge, so that makes meal-planning easy. If we do not have those accommodations and stay in a typical hotel room, We take a small soft-sided cooler that we can place a small ice pack int he bottom, and have snack food or meal ingredients that fit into a healthy eating plan. We carry low-calorie brad, or a baguette and have tuna or low-fat cheese and tomato with it.

    We also cut up veggies and have fresh fruit. It is amazing how well these foods travel.

    Best wishes and positive thoughts. ♥
    2643 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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