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Scaring the Pesky Salespeople

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Today my husband and I went to a new Sports Authority that opened in our rather underpopulated county. We were surprised it was even built since we already have another sports store. A tall young brunette swooped on us before we got 3 feet in the door and introduced herself by name, telling us not to hesitate even ONE SECOND before coming to her for advice or questions. "She's on commission," I muttered to my husband. He nodded.

We walked around the corner, looking at the clothes. We weren't shopping for anything in particular, having just bought shoes for me and a singlet and weight belt for my husband, who is entering a competition next month. A young man pounced on us, asking us if we needed help finding anything. He followed us about 30 feet before he was convinced by my repeated "back off" looks to actually back off.

By the time we'd rounded another corner, we'd been accosted by two more young men. I looked at my husband and muttered, "If one more comes my way, can I give him the full treatment?" He laughed. We agreed that he would take the female salespeople and I would take the men. Since we know the security guard, we figured the police would not be called.

In our giggly revenge we noted that none of the salespeople were over the age of 20. They would no doubt die of absolute shame to have gray haired people like us stripping off our outerwear in the aisle while asking to be helped with various supportive devices. I was going to tell my young male that my boobs bounced too dang much anymore when I went running and could he please look at the tag on the sports bra I was wearing right now because silly old me, I forgot my size! Then I'd turn around and lift up my shirt enough for him to see the tag in back, but not enough to actually expose myself. If he hesitated, I'd remind that he was following me around the store offering to help me.

Would I actually do such a thing? I've done such things before. But today, by the time we were done debating whether my husband should ask about male supportive devices - or since he's a fairly public figure, had better play it safe and ask for stock market advice instead - we had reached the front of the store. We tipped our hats to the security guard, made a lame joke about whether or not he was allowed to let us leave without buying anything, and left.
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  • MONIKA1948
    Love your sense of humor! I can actually visualise you doing that to the salesman. To funny! emoticon
    2519 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5500762
    2521 days ago
    very good !! Love your sense of humor and that you and DH participate together!!

    2521 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12710766
    emoticon I agree with Vicki--Sounds like you and DH are a perfect match with your sense of humor! Love it!
    2521 days ago
    You are funny! At least none of them committed the cardinal sin--calling you "Hon". Stores in Ohio evidently believe that customers should all be called "Hon" (if female) and order their workers to use that bizarre nomenclature. emoticon emoticon
    2522 days ago
  • 1STMOMMY1991
    Love it!! you're hysterical Larissa...sounds like you & DH are a perfect match
    2522 days ago
    LOL No wonder I like you! lol lol You're naughty too! lol Yes-- sometimes creative revenge is called for! lol You let them off easy this time, but they had better watch out for you the next time! lol
    2522 days ago
    emoticon OMG Larisa I'm rolling thinking of you asking for that kind of help!! And I'm with Raspberry - its always either too much or too little!! Sometimes I just want to say yest you can help - stand right over there and I'll let you know WHEN!! emoticon
    2522 days ago
    i love it!
    2522 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14270285
    Ah, new-store! No wonder they had all that help. Go back in a few weeks and see what happens. Kudos to and your husband for finding inventive ways to scare them off. Can I take either one of you the next time I look at cars? LOL
    2522 days ago
    Behave yourself. You're in Oregon, not NYC. Beside, maybe all those sweet young things were just vying for you because they were bored; waiting on you would have given them something to do. I doubt that a chain store pays commission -- again, it's only that you're not in NYC, where help in stores is often hard to find. Behave yourself, Chiclet.
    2522 days ago
    You are so funny! I can totally picture this!!
    2522 days ago
    Shopping, to my mind, seems to be a matter of extremes - you're either pestered constantly by salescreatures or totally ignored........I've witnessed them both and they're equally aggravating! When I shop, I essentially know *what* I want, *when* I want them (and yes, salescreatures, your definition of *now* IS NOT necessarily *mine!), and how much to pay (I don't like to haggle, so I have a desired price range in mind)!

    Needless to say, this *female* HATES to shop! (Yeah, I'm sure I'm at risk for having my "sisterhood" card revoked, but I DO loooooove chocolate, so I think I'm safe!)
    2522 days ago
  • PINKYYSUEE funny!
    2522 days ago
    Don't you just hate it when people are pesky or overly helpful or call you darling. When someone talks to me all through the store, I can't think to shop since I'm no much of a shopper anyway. God bless.
    2522 days ago
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