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Saturday, October 26, 2013

Omygosh, I am really screwed up in my sobriety, I feel like a newcomer-not in the sense of using/drinking (that is not an option although the thoughts creep up), I feel like I am trapped and don't know what to do. And then I have this pride thing going on about asking for help and then following thru when the help is offered. I am grateful for the comments and posts I have received over the last few days, totally uplifting. I did reach out and go to a meeting/dinner with a friend much needed. I just struggle with the spirituality of the program. And how to use the tools and the only time I read the Big Book is when someone tells me to turn to such and such whatever page. And I still struggle with "What is the point?" Not that I am going to do anything stupid I don't have the guts. These thoughts are so unlike me and that is why I feel like my sobriety program is all screwed up.
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    1634 days ago
  • LUANN7
    Hang in there Addiction is a hard thing to overcome. you need to go to a meeting and get some support and encouragement. Don't feel down on yourself- know that you can do it!!
    1635 days ago
    get yourself to a meeting .... the spirituality thing is about admitting you are helpless and turning yourself over to your higher power..... most people that IS God ....... but if your not there yet anything that you deem your higher power........ the point is to be sober...... so get to a meeting and get a sponsor! emoticon
    1635 days ago
    I hear you! Why would a merciful God make all the bad things so GOOD and then say, stay away from them! It sucks emoticon
    1635 days ago
    I always feel like my spirituality can be worked on. What works best for me is to sit and meditate for 15-20 minutes. It clears my mind and calms me and lets me get my mind a little straighter.
    1635 days ago
  • SILVER1369
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    1635 days ago
    1635 days ago
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings
    Hoping that you get the help that is needed
    We all care and am a great listener
    Truly take one day at a time
    Love Prayers Peace
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    1635 days ago
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    1635 days ago
    emoticon you started the first step by writing this blog and sharing how you feel your team mates are here for you as you see praying for you that you feel better soon. emoticon
    1635 days ago
  • -WISPY-
    Hi honey, you are not alone. I am thinking most, if not all of us have been feeling similar to how you feel now.

    I got sober in AA many years ago now and still live the programme one day at a time. Addiction is a powerful thing and the most important thing in my life is that I do not pick up one drink no matter what happens in my life.

    My sponsor was a life safer. Also reading the literature and going to meetings got me through the tough times. In AA they suggested I got lots of phone numbers of others who were recovering and to always pick up the phone before I picked up a drink. To get too as many meetings as I possibly could and to make a special point of going when I did not want to go. Our minds can play all sorts of tricks on us. Being with other alcoholics at a meeting seems to bring us back down to earth and remember what is really important.

    What you are going through is one of the crunch times when we lose sight of how important sobriety is and other sober alkies are very important.

    Love Wispy.

    1635 days ago
    1635 days ago
    emoticon I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    1636 days ago
    The point? It truly is a mystery. I can't pretend to know any more than you do, but I choose to think of life as a tremendously challenging game that I would like to do well at, regardless of how it ends. (Of course, I love ALL kinds of games anyway, so that comes naturally.) When you finish playing a game that you enjoy it gives you such a sense of satisfaction! That's what I hope to enjoy for the rest of my life - the sense that, at the end of it, I'll feel satisfied with how I've played my hand.
    1636 days ago
  • 859320
    hang on. I get help by reading in the book of Psalms especially the 23rd Psalms. emoticon emoticon
    1636 days ago
    Good that you are sharing. It sounds like support time . Get a friend beside you! You are not screwed up.

    1636 days ago
  • KANOE10
    Hang in there. One day at a time. I hope you call one of your family members or friends or your sponsor for support. emoticon
    1636 days ago
    Do you have a sponsor? Someone you can talk to about everything? Someone who knows you through and through? Even though we know things, we still need to have someone tell us those things over and over. So what? AA is a fellowship because sobriety is something we just can't do alone. If we could, we would. I can't, but I don't need to. Those wonderful people have carried me through many problems, real and imaginary, and I am grateful beyond words that they are there.
    1636 days ago
  • KITT52
    some times one day at a time is too long...one hour at a time or even 1 minute...
    we all have times of struggle....praying things get better for you
    1636 days ago
    Praying for you! Hang in there! You can do it!

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    100+ Pounds Team
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    1636 days ago
    You can do it...I have faith in you.
    1636 days ago
  • JULIA_211
    In the beginning of my sobriety, I had feelings like yours too. What helped me was going to the library and reading books on sobriety, one in particular that I remember was Susan Powter's "Sober and Staying That Way." For some reason, that book helped me a lot, something to relate to. Good luck, and hang in there, it is always tough in the beginning! emoticon
    1636 days ago
    We're all here for you. Keep it up, just one day at a time.
    1636 days ago
    Hang in there and keep taking one day at a time.....Keep exercising, journaling, reading and learning....Your new way of life is becoming your new habits.....Hug yourself because you are trying to obtain a healthy lifestyle.
    1636 days ago
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