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The Charge of the Roly-Poly Brigade

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Greetings, Sparkpeeps!

Despite all protests to the contrary, I got my butt out of bed (the other butt magnet in this house besides the couch), got my paperwork together, and biked to the bank to deposit some checks. I decided that since there was NO WIND AT ALL, I would try for a new speed record. My current there-and-back-again time was down from 59 minutes to 51 minutes, so I thought I'd push to see if I could make 45.

I took off from my driveway and decided that since I made the traffic light and didn't have to stop, I'd build some momentum. I decided to pretend to be Attila the Hun leading the charge across the plains of Central Europe, striking fear and loathing into serfs and monarchs alike.

As I rushed the Roman legions between the Danube River (Rosemeade Drive) and the border of Gaul (Peters Colony Rd), I got up to car speed. It was quite exhilarating taking those turns and hills at 20+mph. It would have been even more exhilarating if I could have kept up that pace, put alas, my inner warlord had to make way for little old ladies out power walking, d-bag yuppies with their dogs who saw me coming and refused to move aside, joggers, and the occasional bunny. My inner warlord was doing a facepalm pretty much the whole way, and was probably wishing for a functional saber or spear. My inner warlord lost the will to fight when, on the way back from the bank, some poor old man was out jogging and his elastic shorts gave way. Runners, I realize chafing is an issue, but PLEASE don't go commando, okay? This is a public service announcement from the neighborhood crazy lady who likes to pretend to be the Flagelum Dei while on the bike path.

All told, my new PR is 49 minutes. I think if I'm going to improve upon that time, I'll either have to wake up earlier or wait until it gets too cold for most folks. You know, around 50 degrees.

Never a dull moment.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • PROT358
    P.S. On second thoughts, I think you need a horn on your bike. You know, like the kind on little girl bikes. A good way to signal the yuppies to stand aside. And if they fail to heed the warning, a conqueror can't be slowed down.
    1697 days ago
  • PROT358
    Congrats on your new time! But I see where the stars line up. You don't like Texas summers, and you clearly don't like their lack of bike paths. So you must come to Ohio and be my neighbor. They have a bike trail all the way from Cincinnati to nearly Dayton, and there you wouldn't likely find d-bags, dogs, or missing running shorts. Or if you do, the part of the path I have walked is probably double the width of a sidewalk, and no traffic lights ;) Keep at it, and I'm sure you'll only improve!
    1697 days ago
    That was a cool ride! It's just not nice when people see u but don't move emoticon
    1698 days ago
    And never a dull blog! Enjoying the stories emoticon

    1698 days ago
    I was enjoying the tour with Attila the Hun until I was irreparably damaged by the mental image of an older gentleman inadvertently going commando. For the safety of those with fertile imaginations, please place warning labels on these blogs!
    1698 days ago
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