KALANTHA
100,000-149,999 SparkPoints 113,842
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Healthy Weight Challenge

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

WARNING: THIS COULD GET UGLY!

The past few weeks, I've been working semi-hard to get back on track and lose this weight, but not truly dedicating myself to the process. I guess I wasn't properly motivated.

This is my third SP try and I've had A LOT of success my two previous go-rounds only to put all or most of the weight back on, much to my chagrin.

Last time was about a year and a half ago and I remember how hard it was to just "GET STARTED". And I swore to myself, "Never again!". It was just too difficult.

Well, here I am.

I know how many pounds I've regained.

I had to shop for new clothes to wear on my trip to Arizona last weekend, which was extremely painful.

I've seen myself in a full length mirror, front and back. God, if that wasn't a FRIGHT!

But today was it! All those things I mentioned above didn't move me like today did. Today was the big epiphany -- the final motivator.

What's so special about today?

I'll tell you what's so special!

I just got home from the gym and I am thoroughly and completely pissed off and disgusted with myself!

I've run in 5Ks.

I've ridden my bike 26 miles in a single ride.

Less than a year ago, I could jog 7 miles. It wasn't fast, but I could do it!

Today?

Nowhere near it. I am beyond out of shape!

Started my strength training circuit. I made sure the weights were REALLY light so as to not injure myself and I wanted to make sure I could do the cardio in between stations. Oh, my GOD! That circuit was the longest 30 minutes of my life! By the time I was finished, I was really beat. But, I did finish; so, I'll at least give myself a pat on the back for hanging in.

From there, I went to the mini-elliptical (all legs, no arms, AND no resistance). I could BARELY manage 5 minutes. Last year at this time, knocking out 60 minutes on the real deal, with resistance, was commonplace for me.

After my 5 minutes on the mini-elliptical torture device, I decided to try the treadmill. Well, let me tell you, after the ST circuit and the mini-ETD, I had to really scale back the treadmill. I used to be about walk almost 4 mph, with some jogging thrown in for good measure, for 60 minutes. Today? I cranked out 30 minutes, with of speed of 3 mph. Such a disappointment for me!

I am so, so angry with myself. And disappointed, too. I don't even have the words to express those feelings adequately here.

But I KNOW this: Every time I do this, I am amazed at how quickly and beautifully this body that I've so abused responds to proper care. I also know that I can't keep doing this because my luck's going to run out! My body deserves soooo much better, so:

I WILL NOT QUIT!

I WILL NOT GIVE UP!

I WILL GET BACK TO WHERE I WAS A YEAR AGO!

I WILL MOVE AHEAD AND BEYOND!

I WILL REACH MY HEALTHY WEIGHT!

AND,

I WILL MAINTAIN IT THIS TIME!

THERE WILL BE NO OBSTACLE LARGE ENOUGH OR STRONG ENOUGH TO STOP ME!

I CAN AND I WILL SUCCEED!



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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • NHES220
    You will get back there. You have done it before and you will do it again. Just do not give up! Keep at it. You will be knocking out 5ks again and you'll tackle the elliptical and treadmill. You just need to build back up. We've all been there and you have the strength to do it, you just need to get up every day and keep at it. We're right there with you. Now I need to get up from this computer and go get my steps in for the day!
    emoticon emoticon
    2188 days ago
  • MAWMAW101
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    Life is such a journey--may the next part of yours be wonderful!
    2188 days ago
  • HELEN_BRU
    Yes, you can! emoticon
    2189 days ago
  • BIGPAWSUP
    You got this!! I know you will succeed!
    2189 days ago
  • NILLAPEPSI
    One foot in front of the other. You'll get there. emoticon
    2189 days ago
  • MEADSBAY
    I struggled at the gym after being out sick for two weeks!
    You will get there- what is the rush? Do it right.
    emoticon
    2189 days ago
  • YMI0625
    Go, Kalantha! emoticon
    2189 days ago
  • WORKNPROGRESS49
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2189 days ago
  • HICKOK-HALEY
    I know how you feel. I am in the exact same spot. When Dennis was out of work for almost 2 yrs., I gained everything back that I had lost. So I'm with you..Let's get it started!! emoticon
    p.s. Dennis finally found a part time job, and works from home now. What a blessing!!
    emoticon
    2189 days ago
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