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Wednesday 10-23-2013 Assortment

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Simon and Elaine, who were both in their 90s, invited their grandson Jonathan over for dinner one night. Jonathan was impressed by all the endearing pet names Simon used when addressing Elaine—“honey,” “darling,” “sweetie pie,” and so on. When Elaine left the room for a moment, Jonathan said to Simon, “Grandpa, I think it’s so nice that after all these years you still call Grandma all those loving pet names.”
Simon hung his head. “I must tell you the truth, Jonathan. I forgot her name about ten years ago.”
What is an extremophile?

An organism that can live under extreme environmental conditions that most life-forms on earth would be unable to tolerate.

Here’s Johnny! Johnny Carson was born on this day in 1925. Some memorable quips from his “Carnac” character:

A: “An unmarried woman.”
Q: “What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 P.M. on June 1, 1952?”

A: “Shareholder.”
Q: “What did Sonny Bono used to be?”

A: “Rose Bowl.”
Q: “What do you say when it’s Rose’s turn at the bowling alley?”

A: “Follow the yellow brick road.”
Q: “What are the directions to a urologist’s office?”
Before deciding on Johnny Carson, NBC almost hired Groucho Marx to host The Tonight Show.
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