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Tuesday, October 22, 2013

My life will be considerably less stressful after November 15 when my angry son moves out. He's 21. He's moved out twice before. Once because I kicked him out. I made the mistake of letting him back after that, and I really shouldn't have. He seemed like he had changed, but he hadn't. The near constant stress sends me into a twirl of my many addictions. Food, smoking, gambling. I've always smoked (since I was 12), but I smoke more when I'm stressed. Normally it's about 3-4 cigarettes per day recently. I'm really trying to reduce and eventually quit. Food has been my constant companion since I was very young. The stealing and eating food so that my mother wouldn't shame me started when I was probably about 8 or 9. I'm better about not sneaking food, but it doesn't mean that I'm not still embarrassed when I eat way more than I should, like this past few days. The gambling had been much better, but I let it get the better of me a couple of weeks ago. I just want my life to be back in control! I am really trying to stay in control with at least my eating. I can stay away from the casino. Urg... I can do this. I keep telling myself :(

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  • FRAN0426
    Once your son leaves it should gt easier. Just try the best you can to not let him push you buttons, keep your hands busy by reading or if you have a hobby kepp busy so you won't want to eat, smoke or even gaamble. Tell yourself I will get through this.
    1705 days ago
    Hang in there! Life can really send us spinning sometimes, but you have all the tools you need to succeed. emoticon
    1705 days ago
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