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Where I come from

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

After my dad passed away, I got into tracking my family tree via the ancestry.com website. I got pretty far and completely enjoyed seeing all the little hints pop up and looking through the little articles and seeing all the handwritten census' from so long ago and wondering how life was for my ancestors. I have found a couple of old pictures and my grandmother's brother' draft card. It's all so interesting to me.

We were always closer to my dad's side of the family, we grew up in the same neighborhood....right next to my grandparents. My grandpa on my dad's side is second generation American. We always thought he was so funny when he would spout out something to us in German...usually it was something along the lines of 'schweinehund'...the first time I heard that was when I knocked over the sugar bowl on the table and when I asked Gramps what that was, he said 'piggy-dog', which gave me giggle fits...I still laugh about it til this day....and occasionally point out to my kids that this is obviously an inherited condition, lol!

My family are all nuts and probably can be medically classified as dysfunctional, but they are mine and I love them. Sometimes it can be a chore keeping up with who is not speaking to whom, and who lives where, and when you spend as many years away from them as I have, it is a bit daunting to think of how many "new" relatives that I will be meeting at Christmas.
My poor beau, lol, the only advice that my sister gave him about meeting the entire family at Christmas was "Just remember, if you aren't loud, you aren't gonna be heard!"
I can't wait, haha!

Tonight I was watching The Learning Channel and they had two shows on, Half-ton Mom and Half-ton Dad. It was basically about doing a gastric bypass on someone of this size.
During the dad one, he was in the hospital for several months even BEFORE he had the surgery, just trying to get him down to a safer weight...after his surgery and recuperation, after everything he had been through...the day he was supposed to come home from the hospital, it showed the family having a lunch or dinner from a fast food place.
I commented to my beau that if I were in his situation, I would be horrified if I came home and everyone was eating crap food.
Then I noticed that most of the family had a weight problem...except for the baby, who had a french fry in her hand and was being fed a burger.

Relating this to my own life....
A lot of people in my family are overweight. My dad had type 2 diabetes. We thought he got off easy because after a time, he was able to control it with diet and not insulin shots. Then we lost him to a heart attack.
I always remember my mom being skinny...she went through a fight with anorexia, but I found pictures of her when her and my dad were married and I really struggled to figure out who this woman was in the pictures until I found pics from when they renewed their vows.
A lifetime of always being taken to McDonald's after a doctor's appointment, the bad part was that my mother is a hypochondriac and there were a LOT of doctor visits. I don't say that lightly either, she is truly a hypochondriac.
I remember the whole family going to McD's and dad got a big mac...oh how I begged for one! I just wanted a big sandwich! (As it turns out I hate them, lol, nasty sauce!)

I had a crap diet, but never was overweight as a kid. I was 113 pounds when I was 14 years old. The same year that I was raped and became pregnant. I had my daughter when I was 15, married at 18, another baby at 18, one at 21....and never took time to take care of myself. I can look back and remember thinking that I was doing what I needed to do and that I knew everything because I was a "grown-up"! Boy was I wrong!
I never learned HOW to eat, and I never taught my children either. I try to teach them now, but they are grown. Even though they are grown, I encourage them to make positive changes....but I wish I knew better during their formative years.

For so long, I fought against my past, I still have days that I feel bitter about it, but I also realize that it's a part of me and there is nothing I can do to change it.
I might be overweight, but I am working to correct it.
I find new greys in my hair, but I am the last of my siblings and myself to get them (and I'm not even the youngest, lol)
I learn new things every day that I didn't know before and can apply it and pass on that knowledge.
I will always have wide hips that I don't care for, but they carried my children when I was still so very young.

I still have my days, those of you who read my blogs know that, I have those days that I cry, yell, and berate myself for things that I can control and things that I can't....my beau says its a God complex-blah-blah something or other, lol!

I will always pick myself up and move along, being the best me that I can be because that is who I am.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks for sharing.
    1670 days ago
  • SHELL1400_85
    Thank you so much for sharing with us. Sometimes it is hard to talk about issues like this but it can help. It sounds like you are doing well now and trying to make better choices. Good luck to you in your journey.

    1670 days ago
  • KAREN608
    Thanks for a glimpse into your past. Now I am thinking of meals from the old days... My Mom wasn't much of a cook. But it seems you and me are improved and do better at a lot of things learning from the past...
    1671 days ago
    There is so much here I don't even know where to start! Thank you for sharing this amazing history of yourself. I am wowed by all you have done, known, been through, and come out stronger.

    The story of your grandpa made me giggle, too - my mom is fluent in German. I wish I hadn't resisted learning.
    1672 days ago
    Sounds like you are making a wonderful transition from surviving to THRIVING!

    Viva la SPARK! :-)

    1672 days ago
    I love you! (And I hate Big Macs, too, always have.)

    I also never learned how to eat. My grandmother grew up in the depression so she was always asking me if I was hungry or wanted more food. My dad had a super fast metabolism and didn't start gaining weight until his late 40s, even though he regularly has 3rds or 4ths at dinner. I, myself, have been overweight basically since I was born, and there are tons of pictures of me with food being shoved into my face. *sigh*
    1672 days ago
    I think one of the blessings of growing older is we also grow wiser and have more compassion for ourselves and family members. I am a firm believer that for the most part people try to do their best with what they have. I am sure your story sounds familiar to many. Thanks for sharing! emoticon
    1672 days ago
  • BILL60
    Thank you for sharing. Hang tough!!
    1672 days ago
    Thanks for sharing emoticon
    1672 days ago
    emoticon Really enjoyed your blog.
    1672 days ago
  • BTRX71
    The title of your blog caught my attention. Boy, am I glad it did! Thank you so much for sharing this. You have made me smile and think back on my own family. I also relate so well to the food issues. many in my family are also overweight. We celebrated and gathered over meals (still do). It was never thought to be too much of a good thing. Now we are all learning to make better choices.

    " I will always pick myself up and move along, being the best me that I can be because that is who I am. "
    So true! We are often our own harshest critics. It is good to remind ourselves to accept and move forward. Be proud of all we are and have done. Thank you again. Best of luck to you! emoticon emoticon
    1672 days ago
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