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Sunday, October 20, 2013

For the past couple of months I have known that things weren't right, but last weekend things hit the fan. Depression kicked with a kick to the gut and it knocked me for a loop! Didn't want to get out of bed, didn't want to get dressed, had to push myself to exercise, and had no real appetite.

This was my DD's favorite time of year from a couple of weeks before Halloween to mid-January. She even went trick or treating when she was 17. She and a friend dressed up, went out and then donated all the candy they had gotten to a local Kiwanis Halloween Party. From that point on each holiday meant spending time with family which was very important to her. She would even keep the Christmas tree up until mid-January watering it daily so that it wouldn't dry out. I miss her terribly. Last year was the first time in 8 years that we had a Christmas tree and it felt wonderful. But sometimes, things don't work out the way you hope especially with depression.

So I talked with my best Spark Buddy Diane and talked. Each night she called and we talked. It helped, but I needed to figure some things out. So I sat down and started to journal. I created a pledge to myself, worked out some long-term goals, and I created a 3-part plan for weight-loss, exercise, and most importantly wellbeing. The pledge and wellbeing parts were the hardest to figure. They had to be realistic and attainable.

I began Friday and things are getting better. Reading all the goodies that teammates and friends sent as well as the comments on my SparkPage was the best medicine a person could ask for. I am still taking things 1 day at a time and keeping busy. I have even started working on some Christmas projects. Imagine that.

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  • no profile photo CD1980448
    Hugs to you...I hope you feel better soon!
    2563 days ago
    I'm sorry you are going through depression right now. It sucks but there is hope and I think you are on the right track. Keep on keeping on. You can get through this.
    2563 days ago
    Missing you on the Spy thread. Hope you are back to your strong self soon!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2563 days ago
    Depression does stink but you have determined to explore it and get into action. Bravo for you! You're on to the need to write it out, get support, and make a plan for self care. One day at a time. emoticon
    2563 days ago
  • 68ANNE
    You are doing it.
    2563 days ago
  • PCOH051610
    Sending big emoticon across the miles that are between us. I am going to send you a SparkMail message shortly.

    2564 days ago
    I've gone through this and my best advice is that sometimes you have to paste a smile on your face and just get up and move, even though you don't want to. Having a plan in place will help, and please, keep reaching out and talking.

    Please continue to talk about your DD...she sounds like she was very special and I'd love to get to know her through you.

    Hugs, my friend,
    2565 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13289433

    One day at a time is wonderful!!! That's a couple of steps up from one hour at a time!!!
    2565 days ago
    HI my Sweet "Spark" Friend,, and well shoot,,, we've met and that was TERRIFIC !! I was "hoping" we would again this yr, but with my surg, and ur busy schedule it just didn't work out,, so guess WHAT??? how about we DO A PLAN FOR June of 14??? I'll be soo much bettah off with $$$$$ than also. I would NOT of been this yr, but "would of managed" it. I even bought a SPECIAL towel for Dennis,,,,, U KNOW me and Colahs,,, BRIGHT, but I bought him one to use that's actually BLACK !!! LOL Huh? Of course it has tiny flowers on it, but we'll tell him that's cos he's a galy girl. HAHAHAHAHA !!! he'll prob FLIP which just makes it that much funnier !!! U KNOW me and my STRANGE HUMAH !!

    Hon,,, with depression,,, sometimes it sits in us, and does NOT WANT to leave us to go and 'visit" someone else per say. Its sooo hard to live with,, you know I went thru a 14 yr deep one,,,so deep I did not care to live, but thankfully I am OUT of it now. :) Yesterday at meeting I thanked all who used to send me cards,,, and visit me in hosp's. They all said about the same thing yest as I did, "I didn't think I did anything". SURPRISINGLY the smallest things count,,, and YOU CLEARLY COUNT my friend.

    I am honored, treasured to be UR FRIEND !!

    HUGS Sweetie !!! now imagine I am sitting right besides you ,,,and giving you this HUG in person,,, U know how I hug tightly !
    2565 days ago
    2565 days ago
    So sorry about your loss. Having lost emoticon siblings of my own and with my own children now, I completely understand how depression can overtake you. Keep on pushing through and don't be afraid to lean on others to support you.
    2565 days ago
  • RD03875
    Hugs, we are all here for you!
    2565 days ago
    Sorry to hear about the loss. I agree with Ellelars. Keep planning, keep fighting. Nothing worth having ever came easy, if it did it wasn't nearly as appreciated. emoticon
    And emoticon on your week 1 loss!
    2565 days ago
    Big hugs to you. I think a journal is a fabulous idea. Sounds like you're on the right track. Keep your head up the best that you can, we're here to support you.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2565 days ago
    Many of us have to deal with depression at some point in our lives. It sounds like you are well on your way to developing a plan to deal with yours. I wish you great success.
    2565 days ago
    Good for you! Depression is so hard to deal with. Sounds like you've got a great plan. emoticon emoticon
    2565 days ago
    You are in my prayer for peace and comfort.
    2565 days ago
    Depression really does stink. I applaud you on making a plan.
    2565 days ago
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