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Sexy Butt Crack

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Last week my department participated in what the employees now refer to as the Hungar Games. I am the new guy,well not as new as I used to be,but new to this experiance.
The things they did at the last hungar games were things like, Blindfolding and nose plugs as someone feeds you something and you had to guess what it is. I guess baby food was a big hit last year. I knew I would master this,noooo!!! I don't regularlly consume baby food but many years ago when my now nine year old was a baby I tasted a few and the awful taste is burned in my brain. Being a fat guy and food addict,well who's going to win this challenge. Not this year as it turns out.
I was placed in District four. there were five districts. we did team challenges like putting togetter a gigantic jigsaw puzzle . Well since I am a jigsaw puzzle enthusiast ( have a photo catalog of about 75 puzzles I have done of various piece count) It is in the bag right?
One small catch,we are all blindfolded and not one can help you. WTH!!! we failed miserably. The groups that went before us brought a few things to my attention. There are a few large people in my department. In District three there were two large women and one guy. The ladies are at least 250 to 300 pounds easily. One was in jeans and keep in mind she is blindfolded. Her jeans were coming down and there is about 35 or so employees watching. Some were whispering,some were laughing. The sight I saw,well for me I would have been embarrised.( My turn was coming) Envision a small bowl with two hefty scoops of vanilla ice cream side-by-side in this bowl. That is what it looked like.( Why did I have to mention food)
There was her team mate who was an African-American woman and it was the same scenario except it was like two scoops of chocolate ice cream. But wait a minute..... The African-American woman is wearing a red thong. Honestly, the guys were trying to look away. I watched them,but I did see the red thong. C'mon I am a guy. These two ladies bumped into each other and laughter insued.
Now for you ladies... There was a guy in this group and he is well over 300 pounds. His pants are falling down and he is a hairy dude. It was not pretty. Now it is my turn. I have already stuffed my shirt down the back of my pants. I do not show my sexy butt crack. We lost this game as well as the other challenges. Ranging from carring a cup in a web of string ,strung up between six team mates and traveling accross the gym. Balancing a tennis ball on strings and dropping into a cup. Making up a story with the things we bring to work and all of us being stranded on a deserted island and how we used said items. It was fun,but we sucked.
We had lunch catered to us by our department and the president of the school. It consisted of pulled pork,pasta salad,soda,cakes,cookies and various fattening items. I did appreciate everything,but this is a prime example of the fattening of America.
Now a little bit of my other life. I apologize in advance because it is depressing and I do not have the intention of depressing anyone. So here goes..........
My wife is now home and not remotely the woman I married. She has the mind of a mentally challenged teenaged girl. She has exhausted her therapy and insurance so now I am left with this woman that is not my wife,but she is my wife. She remembers things,but they are scrambled. She asks questions that a seven year old would have the answer to. She is mean at times and asks permission to do everything. Like if she wants to take the dog outside,she will ask if she can take him in the front yard or back yard/? I get this about 75 times a day.
She has absolutely no initiave,opinions or anything else helpful. She goes overboard on simple things and I basically have to parent her as well as my other children. She is super skinny and walks like a little old lady. I tried to get her to chase me outside and she would not run at all. Mind you she was running 3.5 miles three times a week in training for her first 5K event.
Want to lose weight,have a tree branch give you a tramatic brain injury and the pounds will melt off. One draw back,your mind will melt away too.( It;s a joke laugh) I got really angry with her last week and I told her that when that branch fell on her head. It was like she left me and she did. I have come to the conclusion that my Judi is gone. In time I will get some of her back,but for the most part,she is gone. Frankly and honestly I don't think my marriage will survive this either. There is a lot more, but I would never leave her in this condition. The woman I have now is so far away from my former wife that we have had arguements where she has said( We refer to her as New Judi) That old Judi will never return. I had to tell her I was married and in-love with old Judi and not new Judi and that they need each other and I pray they become one.
I did a health screen at work to see just how much damage I have done to myself these last four months. My cholesterol is a little elevated. The other things were pretty good. My blood pressure was terrible,but since then I had to change my medication and on Friday I went back to doctor and it was excellent.
I had to get my foot re-molded for a new orthodic. If it does not work,I'm going to have to have surgery. I lost a few pounds by playing basketball in my drive way. I can't run at all ,but I can still shoot baskets and not put too much stress on my foot. I had to let the gym membership go as it was my wife's and she is not working anymore and it was not cost effective for our changing finances.
My day is like this, I wake up at 3 A.M and come home at 1.P.M. I get home and make lunch for me and Judi. I run errands since we have to be home by 3.P.M. I have a small window from 4 to 5 ,which I try to exercise . Mostly there is some problem with my teenager ,who is failing in school now or something I need to address. I have to make dinner,some small chores. I need to do everything by 9.P.M because I have to go to bed as I have to get up early to go back to work.
I still have the desire to workout. It has not left. I am just going to have to make the time as my life is important and I want to do this.
So....... Crappy things happen all the time in my case,but You have got to keep livin'. I hope you all have a great week.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CHARITY1973
    Just stopped by to see how you and Judi and family are doing.

    I was hoping for more but happy to hear she is at least a nasty teenager. She could be stuck at 3 years old and walk into traffic.

    Her condition must be so challenging on everyone. As for your son, I know when my parents separated as a teenager my grades hit rock bottom. And I turned out fine, academically at least...Just didn't get into Harvard, that's all...He won't be ruined by low grades. But he'll have to make up the mistakes at some point. He may not see the point in studying with his life turned upside down. I couldn't see the point in studying when I was going to have to live a whole new life I didn't want. School was just so insignificant. He may be thinking, "You care about my grades at a time like this? My mother has been taken away and replaced with a woman I don't know and I don't like. F*&k grades!" But that's me putting words in his mouth. I could be far far off the mark.

    And you are stuck between the largest rock and hard place in the Universe. My heart goes out to you. Your son has the luxury of flunking school. You don't have the luxury of flunking your family or yourself. There isn't much advice I can give (except the disability lawyer, my mother does this type of law in TN). But if there is a chance that old Judi can return in any meaningful way you owe it to yourself and those kids to go through hell to do that. You have been given a HUGE dose of reality bites but when you lie on your death bed what will you want to say about this faze of your life? Easy for me to say of course, sitting here at the computer. You are the final decider of your life, none of us couch critics.

    Take care.

    1618 days ago
    I don't get around to commenting on Sparkpeople much but you and your family are often on my mind. I wish for wonderful things to start happeing for you all. (Love the new background. too)
    1619 days ago
    Wow LaVelle. I'm so sorry that your Judi will never be the same. I'll continue to pray for a miracle. You are doing so well to try to keep taking care of yourself despite having so many demands on your time. You need to stay healthy for yourself and your family.
    It's so scary how life can change in an instant. These are the kind of things that may never make sense to us while as long as we are on this earth...we'll all have lots of questions for God when we get there.
    You continue to inspire and amaze me.
    Godspeed my friend.
    1619 days ago
    That competition sounded like a lot of fun to me. I sometimes miss co workers, as it is only my boss and I at my job.

    Have you contacted a disability attorney? Judi did work and should be entitled to social security disability.

    I do hope Judi can regain what she has lost.
    I wish I could do something to help.
    I will keep praying for you and your family.

    You are strong, you are a good man.

    1619 days ago
    Sorry to hear what you are going through brother, I will pray for you and your wife and your teenager, I know those are tough. I will pray that God gives you some relief and strength so you can handle all my friend. Take care brother! emoticon
    1622 days ago
    There is no way I would want to participate in those games. Just give me that time off paid.
    After reading about the tree accident, I was wondering what was going on. I am so sorry that her brain is functioning the way it is. I pray that over time some improvement will show. It is a very difficult time for everyone including your son. I hope he has someone to talk to. It may improve his school work.
    1638 days ago
  • JIBBIE49
    Sorry about ur wife.
    I don't know what teenagers in America think they are going to do to make a living when they don't study in high school. Of course, they can continue to live off of us parents. My fourth son finally got a job (he's 24 and didn't go to college) working in a warehouse. He has a friend who can't find a job, but then in H.S. he didn't bother to study like I told him and get a JOB SKILL. My older three boys graduated from college.
    1642 days ago
    Your Hungar Games actually sound kinda fun to me... don't think I'd want to be in the predicament of inadvertently revealing butt crack, though... even if it is sexy. :) But overall it sounds like fun, even if you do really bad on your game. :)

    I am so sorry about your wife and the difficulties you face daily. I hope for you that the old Judi returns and y'all can get on with your life together. Considering all your family has been and is going though... your teenager might just be having a hard time dealing with it. Do y'all talk about things much?

    Overall your attitude sounds good and upbeat in spite of how tired I imagine you are of all of this. So proud of you for dropping a few pounds and getting in what exercise you can. Hang in there, baby. :) Lots of hugs.

    1645 days ago
    Those hunger games sound interesting at your work. I hope that things can improve for you and your family. Always thinking of you. Hugs.
    1645 days ago
    The games at work sound fun but rather humiliating at the same time.

    I wish there was something I could say or do to help but I know there isn't. You're in a tough place right now with tons of stress on you. Is there anyway psycho-therapy might help (i.e. therapy from a psychologist, psychologist, etc...) her? I hope for everyone's sake that she'll regain most of her old self so that she'll be more self sufficient and be the woman you married.

    Sorry to hear about your son not doing well in school. I'm sure that everything that has and is going on at home is probably affecting him and his school work. Does his school have a school counselor? Maybe talking to her would help him??

    I hope the new shoe orthotic helps and that you will not need surgery.

    I can understand letting go of the gym membership. I'm glad to hear you still have the desire to exercise. You definitely have to find the time to fit in somewhere. I'm sure you will figure it out. Hopefully it will be sooner rather than later. emoticon
    1645 days ago
    Work sounded like a hoot. I couldn't imagine that going on here.

    My heart aches for you and your wife. I am so sorry. Know I am here if you ever need to talk.
    1646 days ago
    Good Morning LaVell
    Sorry so late was taking care of Mom and Dad yesterday . Its incredible how we as Americans Associate Food with Fun opposed to Fuel for our bodies. I am so sorry that you and your Family were hit with this tragedy. I cannot even begin to imagine how awful you feel with mixed emotions . This is not an easy situation for all involved . I understand what you are saying about the relationship , wow . Understandable about letting go of the gym membership. I am very angry that you are not getting the appropriate funding to help to with Healthcare. Makes me see Red - Congrats on the release of some weight . I wish I lived closer to prepare meals for guys- at least that would help a little. I hope the shoes work - how are you going swing all that if you need surgery?? I really appreciate the Update - although sad - you need to keep your head up and know that many people are thinking of both you ! Thanks for not Exposing the your Butt Crack- lol Still Superman to Me !! Hugs K emoticon emoticon
    1646 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/22/2013 12:04:52 PM
    No offense, but I hope we never have to do a "Hunger Games" sort of event at my workplace. That's just not my sort of thing. *shudder* I'd probably call in sick that day.
    I'm so sorry to hear about Judi's condition. Hopefully it will improve over time. I can't even imagine what that must be like! But it sounds like you're staying strong and holding everything together. Just make sure you find the time to take care of yourself. If you're not well, how can you take care of anybody else? I hope something happens to ease your pressure really soon!
    1646 days ago
  • GINA180847
    Those hungar games are crap. My situation is that hubby just had hip replacement surgery and needs a lot of help from me plus all work around here is done by yours truly. I now feel like I am very lucky after reading your blog. I hope only that she continues to recover and get back to the old Judi. Prayers for us all!!!
    1646 days ago
    Many prayers for strength and positive change for you and your family.
    1647 days ago
  • LINDAK25
    I wish there were something I could say or do to make things better. sorry but there isn't. There are times in life where you just keep going and do what you have to do. It sucks. Is your wife on permanent disability? That might help out financially. Your teenage son sounds confused, afraid, and angry. There may be counseling available for free or low cost. Regardless, just hang in there with him--it's worth it. I know you've probably already thought of this stuff. I'm praying for you. Stay strong.
    1647 days ago
    You're in a very tough spot, for sure. Have a good week.
    1647 days ago
  • JUSTME29
    I have to say that I'm grateful that my work doesn't have anything like that. I'm pretty sure that's the kind of thing that is in the nightmares that I don't remember.

    I wish I had something to offer you in terms of help with your new situation. I'm sure you've looked into every possible option already in terms of finding help/resources to help your wife. I hope an pray that she will regain enough that she can be more self-sufficient. You son struggling in school is a tough one to deal with as well. It's no wonder you can't find time for yourself. I have faith in you that you will figure out a way to make yourself important too.
    1647 days ago
    Sorry to hear about your wife. I can't even imagine how difficult it must be to cope with something like this, for all of your family. emoticon
    1647 days ago
    No Show!
    1647 days ago
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