I'm not special.. but I did drop100lbs!

Saturday, October 19, 2013

This is my journey in pictures of losing 100lbs and finding my strength (both physical and mental)... I'll write a blog with more specifics at another time... You can find most of my story via my blogs.. and my story?? involves A LOT of failure.. I mean it.. a lot of "passionate", "I'm ready" failure.. I'm not done yet.. and I'm not even sure "where" or "what number" will be "done"... but I'll know it when I get there..

One thing I want y'all who are struggling to know is that I am *not* special.. I'm not.. no fairy dust was sprinkled on me.. I didn't do anything that you can't do! One of the things people say to me that irritates me is "isn't it amazing what you can do when things 'click'" or "you must have been ready this time"? (or something to that effect)... and the truth is that I was no more "ready" this time than the other times... I was no more passionate this time than the other times.. listen to me closely.. THERE WAS NO CLICK... That's right... NO CLICK.. there wasn't a day I woke up and went "I"ve got it! I've got THE CLICK" LOL... In a nutshell, I found an eating plan that agreed with my body in an epic way (Paleo) and I stuck with it (and am sticking with it), I found a workout that kept my interest and challenged me in ways nothing else ever has (CrossFit) and I found a COACH (not a trainer, a COACH), an expert to help me through the hardest part about losing 100lbs - THE MENTAL CHALLENGE.

A special thanks to the peeps who have followed my blogs.. and encouraged me throughout this journey... I would name names but y'all know who you are... and I cannot say enough how much your comments, goodies and status comments meant to me... I have read them hundreds of times by now.. they helped me when I had "low" moments... so THANK YOU... and I hope I do you all proud by paying it forward...

Below are my 2010 and 2011 previous attempts... where I was completely 100% motivated but ultimately not successful... Sparkpeople and my blogs are a chronicle of past attempts...

January 1, 2011
Losing 100lbs in a year... this year.. LOG.MOVE.LIFT.SWEAT.REPEAT:
wk 20 5-22-11 now i know - wish I didn't
wk 19 5-15-11 don't know didn't weigh
wk 18 5-8-11 don't know didn't weigh
wk 17 5-1-11 don't know didn't weigh
wk 16 4-24-11 289 lbs -0 lbs - 14 YTD 40.3 BMI
wk 15 4-17-11 289 lbs -1 lbs -14 YTD 40.3 BMI
wk 14 4-10-11 290 lbs -0 lbs -13 YTD 40.4. BMI
wk 13 4-3-11 - 290 lbs -3 lbs - 13 YTD 40.4 BMI
wk 12 3-27-11 -293 lbs -0 lbs -10 YTD 40.9 BMI
wk 11 3-20-11 - 293 lbs -0 lbs -10 YTD 40.9 BMI
wk 10 3-13-11 - 293 lbs -0 lbs -10 YTD 40.9 BMI
wk 10 body fat 39% that's down 6% of body fat!!!!
wk 9 3-6-11 - 293 lbs -2 lbs -10 YTD 40.9 BMI
wk 8 2-27-11 - 295 lbs -0 lbs -8 YTD 41.1 BMI
wk 7 2-20-11 - 295 lbs -0 lbs -8 YTD 41.1 BMI
wk 6 2-13-11 - 295 lbs -0 lbs -8 YTD 41.1 BMI
wk 5 2-6-11 - 295 lbs -0 lbs -8 YTD 41.1 BMI
wk 5 body fat % 45% - started with personal trainer for ST
wk 4 1-30-11 - 295 lbs -0 lbs -8 YTD 41.1 BMI
wk 3 1-23-11 - 295 lbs -3 lbs -8 YTD 41.1 BMI
wk 2 1-16-11 - 298 lbs -2 lbs -5 YTD 41.6 BMI
wk 1 1-9-11 - 300 lbs -3 lbs -3 YTD 41.8 BMI
wk 0 1-1-11 - 303 lbs 42.3 BMI

January 17th, 2010
I've been having this feeling (you might want to put on the Black eye'd Peas "I gotta feeling" as a bit of mood music)...
I've had it for a couple of weeks..
it's hard to define but it's a positive feeling..
it's an expectation..
it's an assurance...
and it is effecting all my senses...
my focus is laser sharp..
my outlook is expectant...
I feel this "thing" deep deep inside..
I can't exactly describe it..
but when I look for words..
unstoppable and relentless come to mind..
closely followed by DONE..

I feel DONE..

not just done..
it's like a switch has been flipped..

no longer am I intimidated by the extra 100lbs I carry
no longer am I discouraged by the length of time it will take me to lose it
I'm FOCUSED on one day, one week, one month at a time!
no longer am I defeated by what I can't do,
I'm DOING what I can do
no longer do I feel like each attempt to move forward is like pulling a ton of bricks
I'm PROPELLED towards my goal
no longer am I feeling like I can't do anything right and everything is hopeless -
I can do ANYTHING and the hope is HERE and NOW not in the future somewhere..

This time is different. I'm different.


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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I have missed a ton of your posts. Been super busy and a bit unfocused. Reading your blogs has refocused me. So thank you. Will have to come back often and reread your blogs for more information.
    2299 days ago
    Wowzer! I haven't been on Sparkpeople that much over the last year and didn't know how successful you've been. Congrats! You look amazing and I know you must feel amazing too!

    2300 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6273840
    I want to know how you found your coach, and how you started exercising at 300+.. and I hope you don't mind sharing? :D
    2369 days ago
  • TIGER_LILY_613
    This is WONDERFUL ! Congratulations ! emoticon emoticon
    2387 days ago
    What a beautiful vlog from a beautiful person (inside and out)! I am so proud of you and am just amazed by your amazing strength (both mentally and physically)! I know, I have known you are amazing for a long time now, but you continue to knock my socks off and inspire me daily! So proud of you gorgeous!! :D emoticon
    2410 days ago
    Congratulations. I read "uncomfortable is where the magic happens" and had a profound moment. Thank you for sharing.
    2411 days ago
  • TREV1964
    This is fantastic Annie,

    What you have done is truly inspiring and you are winning. I personally am coming up close to 100lbs lost and I still have 80 to do.

    I would not have fount this blog and vlog if it wasn't for the previous poster who very kindly emailed me a link to it so thanks to Muscle up as well as admiration for the attitude you have shown so far.


    2411 days ago
    Dang! You have chains tied to those big old weights. You looks so good! Congrats on being 100 lbs. down. It does take a special person like you to not turn back and to keep plugging away. It called being a Winner by all rights!
    2412 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/27/2013 2:28:32 PM
  • no profile photo CD14126107
    Awesome video! Just loved it. Yes, I've read up on paleo and saw many people doing those squat lifts that you do in your video.


    nks for sharing this video.

    :hug!: So proud of you!

    Have a good weekend!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    100+ Pounds Team
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    2412 days ago
    I totally know what you *meant* when you said you are not Special. You want all of us to know that you are like every one of us and that we can be successful too. But.......ummmmmmmm.......Annie? You are so very very special to me. My personal journey both here on SPark and in my everyday life has changed and you are one of the reasons that I now feel the specialness in me shining through. You know what you do for me besides inspire and motivate me? You CRACK ME UP and, most importantly, you make me think, research and learn. Thank you my friend!
    2415 days ago
    OMG I cried when i watched this.. I've been there.. and I've still got a ways to go too - but thank you for sharing the honesty - even though I logically knew I wasn't the only one, you just cemented it for me with your video (Guess I'm a visual learner).



    ps - found you through getstrongrrr - and have added you as a friend. I hope you will do the same. Be well.
    2415 days ago
    Loved this Annie!! You are a true inspiration emoticon emoticon
    2416 days ago
    Thank you for sharing and for teaching me a lesson or two about hard work... emoticon
    2416 days ago
  • IXCHEL23
    Totally.... emoticon emoticon emoticon
    I almost cried at the end. emoticon emoticon
    I wish I had the inner strength you have!
    2416 days ago
    WOW! I beg to differ, YOU ARE SPECIAL!! Thank you for sharing, you are such an inspiration, you make me want to try cross fit!
    2417 days ago
    I beg to differ. You are amazingly special. Below is a an incomplete list of things that make you special! How many people can say the things in the list below?

    - Sticking to it to lose weight.
    - Mentally and physically challenging yourself.
    - Creating an incredible video.
    - Sharing all that you accomplished and inspiring us to incorporate those things in our weight loss journey.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    You have truly inspired me today. I think maybe it is time for me to put more effort into my weight loss journey.
    2417 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/22/2013 12:46:48 PM
    You are amazing! Way to do it and inspire others. Thank you for sharing your journey!
    2417 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14257492
    2418 days ago
  • CRUZ4U
    That was a fantastic video!!! So awesome to see your journey so far!
    2418 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
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    2418 days ago
    Annie, you made me cry. I am SO proud of you! Seeing where you came from, and knowing the woman you are now... it's just amazing!

    2418 days ago
  • TEKRU1
    emoticon Great job! Keep up the good work - you are an inspiration!
    2418 days ago
    2418 days ago
    Love your video! You are amazing, wonderful, inspiring! I'm proud of you, but I know that the most important thing is that you are proud of yourself.

    2418 days ago
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    2418 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/21/2013 8:12:26 AM
    Annie, you are amazing!!! emoticon
    2418 days ago
    I love this so much. You just keep going and growing in so many ways.

    Love the song too--her struggles to get back to singing were resonate with me just as your struggle is resonate with me. The changes you have made are amazing...just like you!

    So much love and admiration for you!
    2418 days ago
    OMG Annie!! You are a beast! Thank you for inspiring me to be the best ME I can be! My first burpees last Friday weren't much better than your first. Three weeks ago I couldn't do 10 real push ups, Last Friday I did 30!! Real ones!! Remembering that helps me believe my burpees will get prettier too. Your transformation, both physically mentally and emotionally, is astounding! Your story tells us all that we CAN do this, no matter how many pounds we need to lose or how weak we may be to begin with. Thank you for helping me find my inner strength!
    2418 days ago
  • JUNEAU2010
    Wow! Thanks for sharing. I have not felt that "click" and I have NOT been doing anything to move forward. Feeling down, wondering what is broken inside of me. Perhaps the answer is one I don't want to hear: just do it!
    2419 days ago
    Have I mentioned how proud I am of you? Or how much I am in awe, complete awe, of you? You are amazing and I am honored to be your friend. emoticon
    2419 days ago
    What a great video, Annie! Congrats on the reaching the 100 mark. You may not think your special, but I am glad you are my SP friend and I can't begin to tell you how happy and proud I am of you emoticon I can tell in your writing that you really are a new person now.
    2419 days ago
    Such a great and inspiring video. Thank you soooo much
    2419 days ago
    I think you're special, Annie--you didn't give up. Yes, you have fallen down, but you've gotten back up! Not everybody does that.

    That's so cool that you made this video. And may I just say that your butt looks GREAT! Dang! You go girl!

    Thanks for sharing!
    2419 days ago
    Not special????? I BEG to differ!! You are amazing and wonderful. But I hear what you are saying - we ALL have it in us to be special!! And I also agree with something else I inferred - that our BODIES are different and what works for one won't be the 'click' for everyone!!

    But SOMETHING will work for everyone - its just a matter of keeping on with trying different things (and not just for a week - giving them a REAL try) until we find the right one. And it WILL NOT be a pill, or a supplement or an easy fix - it has to be a way of life we can live for the rest of our lives!!

    I'm so happy you have found yours - you totally ROCK!!!
    2419 days ago
    Who says you're not special?! You did something fantastic for yourself and will inspire many people. Sounds special to me! emoticon
    2419 days ago
    Annie, You inspire me! Next time I am uncomfortable at the gym I 'll will remember that then is when magic happens! emoticon
    Have a great day!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2419 days ago
    emoticon Way to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    2419 days ago
    AWESOME!! You rock in my book!
    You are amazing!
    And now, you are unstoppable!
    keep at it girl!
    Just keep going!!

    2419 days ago
  • no profile photo CD575791
    you are a star emoticon emoticon
    2419 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
    emoticon Your story is so inspirational! Thank you for sharing!
    2419 days ago
  • KAT130
    Good luck on your journey. I have lost and gained a few times, this time, I'm hoping for a permanent weight loss. I'm wishing you success, and that you never have to start over again.
    2419 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7276122
    Great ..thank you for sharing. Indeed dedication has paid off for you..tis a wonderful story. & congrats to your coach for pushing you when you needed it & for being there thru all ..& for continuing to be at your side!

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    2419 days ago
    Holy Moly Sister, that was awesome! Not only can you squat heavy weights, push big trucks, and zip across the African savannah, but you can make and edit pretty cool videos too!

    That was great to see and you've literally worked your a$$ off for this success! Big Congrats Beast-Girl!
    2419 days ago
    Very inspirational! Thanks for sharing! emoticon
    2419 days ago
    Ya made me cry again! I remember all those milestones like they were my own. Tell your Coach I said "Thanks" too!
    2419 days ago
    Yeah, Annie! You have done an awesome job and deserve all the joy that getting rid of 100 # brings to you! I am so proud of your accomplishments and wish you more enjoyable uncomfortable moments (even if you are a Sassy shamrock Sheriff!) emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2419 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.