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Yesterday with Sister and Mom went fine

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Was a nice time yesterday shopping and going to lunch with sister and Mom. I am usually expected to pay for things like lunch and all but was shocked when my sister insisted. I let her....after all she received $130,000 to add on to her house when Mom was going to live with her...but that only lasted 6 months as Mom is very social and wanted to move into this retirement resort she is now there and paying like crazy to be there. Oh and even after my sister got all that money, she charged my Mother rent to live with her. I noticed too that my sister carries my Mom's credit card and signs for her and such. She does all Mom's book keeping as well. I try to just ignore it's only money. It isn't fair that I am always expected to pay and always have been. I can tell that my sister is really taking advantage of getting her hands on Mom's money...but I tell myself..."so what"...she isn't any happier than me just because she has her hands on more money now. And she doesn't have any little grandchildren like I do. Siblings...what can I say. I am just glad that we all got along. I am even going to go with them again next Friday.

Chilly in Philly here today. Still trying to make up my mind if we will stay longer or not. I need to see if I can get my medicine so will check into that today.
Hope you all are having a great day.
Hugs to all!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    oh the drama family can cause I applaud your not being sucked in
    1644 days ago
    Nice that you were able to enjoy time with your mother and sister.
    1644 days ago
    Money can't buy her happiness or GC.
    1644 days ago
    Glad that you had a good time. Sorry about your
    sister taking advantage of your mum. Families...
    1644 days ago
    I'm glad you had a nice time together, despite all the differences.
    It was wise of you not to stress over past and things you cannot change, and enjoying the day.
    1644 days ago
    After reading about the sis and money etc, my mind churned with parallel concerns. Yup. Siblings. What should finally cause 'em to harmonize often is what stirs the cauldron of old differences...

    Am glad you were able to enjoy the visit with Mom and sis even though the thread of annoyance was rightfully there simmering...

    About Thanksgiving. Follow your heart. Well. As long as it leads you in a direction where you can still get the meds you need!
    1645 days ago
    Glad that you had a good visit!
    1645 days ago
    It happens in every family. I'm just glad that you had a nice lunch with them and everything went OK. I have four sisters and two brothers and we get along great most of the time. God bless you and your family!!!!
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    1645 days ago
    Glad you enjoyed the day with your family. Those actions run in every family. I had two sisters much like you describe and you are so right they have never been happy.
    1645 days ago
    Glad you had a nice visit with your mom and sister and one day she will find that it was not worth all that she did.
    1645 days ago
    Oh good gravy! We can choose our friends but not family. Have to love 'em even if sometimes it's aggravating! Glad you got to see them, though.

    1645 days ago
    I'm fortunate to live close to my parents house, but that also comes along with responsibilities of taking care of them and their things. With my Mom's passing, my Dad now relies on me to handle a lot of things, even though in the end his estate will be split evenly between us three kids. I will work hard to make sure that his wishes are kept in tact, even though I will do the work and won't get help from anyone else.

    I have seen this kind of thing wreck families, and am determined not to let it wreck ours.

    Have a great day!
    1645 days ago
    we can only do the right thing . every family has issues over money . Glad you are still visiting and having a good time,
    1645 days ago
    Just got back from visiting my parents and brother. Luckily they're still fit to live on their own and handle their own affairs. I promises myself a long time ago that I would never argue over family affairs. Smart move on your end staying out if it.
    Hope you are enjoying your time and stay warm :)
    1645 days ago
    You are very wise not to get bent out of shape over unfairness within the family. Your observation that she is no happier than you are is a very good one. And look at how pretty you are!! Bet she's more than a little jealous. Glad your time together was pleasant. Take good care of yourself, Sallie. Hope you can get your medicine and anything else you need to manage your health. -Marsha
    1645 days ago
  • _LINDA
    I am so glad you enjoyed your time with Mom and sister. That being said, I add my voice to the outrage of your sister charging your Mom for rent after been given all that money for a home addition. Its sad when the vultures circle when the elders are weakening and no longer able to care for themselves. There should be laws against this. Good for you not stressing yourself out over this. You are one cool chick!!
    43 here today and chance of flurries tomorrow. I think I would rather be where you are right now :-P
    1645 days ago
    I'm glad you had a nice time with your mom and sister. I remember taking care of my dad and my step-sib would call and tell my mom that she "was making money" off dad. We all know there is nothing farther from the truth when taking care of a "wise one."

    I'm glad you are the bigger person and can just let it go. You will be healthier and happier for it...less stress! I admire you!

    Stay warm and enjoy your time with family!
    1645 days ago
    My Dad is at the point where he needs quite a bit of assistance to remain in his home. My sister and I are there often. I call him daily. Our brother comes for several hours every few weeks to hang out with Dad and do heavier stuff. We all get along well and no one is trying to grab stuff or money. My family is blessed!
    1645 days ago
  • LIS193
    Glad you had a nice day and are the bigger person for taking a step back (emotionally.
    Ha! Is your sister related to my brother??? I guess every family has one :(
    1645 days ago
    I am glad you enjoyed the day with your mom and sister! Family relationships are so complicated whenever money is involved. It's only money and all we can try to do is the right thing each day.
    emoticon emoticon
    1645 days ago
  • FIT4MEIN2013
    Family politics suck. My siblings actually said to me, "you always were lucky and had it so easy". Yep! That's me! Worked hard taking overloads in school. Graduated early and went to college. Have had 2 careers (nursing and teaching), owned my own business, ran for US Congress twice, have been widowed. I have been so "lucky". That is if it is understood that you MAKE your own luck.

    It comes around to bite them, though, Sallie. Suddenly they realize that they aren't really happy and regret the choices they made.

    We have been blessed. I pray that they will be, too.
    1645 days ago
    Glad u had a nice time with your family, I cannot believe that your sister charged your mom rent to live their after she gave her all that money! not right at all! plus I am worried about her using your moms cards and doing her books, what if she cleans her out? Take care Sallie. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1645 days ago
  • JUNEAU2010
    I do not have the chance to take care of my parents. I wish I did! But I know that money and possessions often ruin family relations at the end of a loved one's life. You have a great attitude about all of it!
    1645 days ago
    Elder care is never easy.
    It doesn't make any difference if they live with you or not. Whether they are related by blood or not. If they need a walker, a wheelchair or if they are housebound . If there is a lot of money involved or not.
    It takes a LOT OF LOVE and a lot of time to check on them daily, visit them often and take them all the places they need. Doctors, hair appointments, eye exams, dental check all the places they seem to want to go - that they may or not need to go. WalMart, Macy's, SuperMarket..... you get the idea. It turns out that your time in not yours any longer.
    It takes special people to care for those that are loved and have loved all of us who are still agile and active.
    I pray that I have someone as loving as a sister to care for me when the time comes.

    Great picture Sallie.......

    1645 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/19/2013 9:52:43 AM
    I'm glad you had a good time with mom and sis.
    Family relationships are so complicated,
    and then whenever money is involved... emoticon

    My DH is the one stuck doing almost all of the elder care for his father and stepmother (of 10 years, whose 2 daughters live in Canada) as they no longer drive and his siblings live away, although one has a job where he is in RI for 2-3 weeks every other month and that slimeball sometimes doesn't even check on his 89 yr old father or try to give my husband (who is 18 yrs older than his youngest brother) a bit of a break. DH's sister come's home for a week or 2 every year and he gets a little break but but it drives him crazy how she's 'cleaning out' the attic and closets and helping herself to anything she wants (read: anything of value).
    But, like you say, it's only money and we just try to do the right thing each day.
    You must wait for fall in PA!
    We are peaking here but it's not much this year.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    1645 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/19/2013 8:57:48 AM
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