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I don't know how to feel

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

I finally reached ex this morning. It turns out he was in the hospital the entire time (complications from diabetes). He said he couldn't call because his cell phone ran out of charge and he couldn't recharge it. I asked about the telephone by the bedside in just about every hospital. He said, "Well, I meant to, but..." He told me he'd arranged for a company to take 24/7 care of Frank, but the people coordinating his care moved him to a care home because they're not convinced ex is strong enough to care for him. And to be honest, I think they probably looked at the condition of the house and it helped with the decision (ex is a hoarder). Ex is going to a meeting next week about all of this. He doesn't yet know the name of the facility, but it's about ten miles south of ex and about sixty miles south of me.

My heart is in a whirlpool right now. Part of me thinks this may be the best for both of them. Part of me feels like crying and screaming. I just don't know how I should feel.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Sounds to me like things are working out. Tough time though. I imagine there not much you can. Sometimes, Just being a friend and listening can be a lot. emoticon
    1649 days ago
    Sending you emoticon and prayers.
    1649 days ago
  • CSYOUNG1952
    Sending lots of hugs and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. If your ex is not taking good care of himself then he needs to be where someone can.

    emoticon Connie

    I can’t change my past but this is my chance to change my future.

    1649 days ago
    If it is the best care for your son....
    1649 days ago
    It may be that the time came to do something and you inadvertently got left out of the loop. Possibly your ex will provide you with the name of the facility soon so you can check it out. emoticon I doubt anyone could blame you for yelling and screaming to yourself about the situation.
    1649 days ago
    OH my. I am just so sorry. I agree that it would make things a whole lot easier to deal with if you at least knew the name of the facility and could see it and see your son!!! Is that possible to find out from the hospital the name of the facility? Or who was in charge of transferring him there??

    My prayers and thoughts are with you. ((((HUGS)))))
    1649 days ago
  • LIS193
    1649 days ago
    Understand why you are up in the air.
    1649 days ago
    I am so sorry for you. It must be so difficult learning about this after the fact.
    1649 days ago
    “The strongest oak tree of the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It’s the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun.” ~Napolean Hill
    hang in there emoticon
    1649 days ago
    My thoughts and prayers are with you! emoticon
    1650 days ago
    it will all work out.... emoticon
    1650 days ago
    I hope things get better soon.
    1650 days ago
    Hard to decide if it is what is best until you get a chance to see the facility, talk to the staff, etc. Don't even know the name of the facility? That would drive me crazy.
    1650 days ago
    It will be what is needed and if not then it can be altered. Hugs
    1650 days ago
  • .DUSTY.
    You had mentioned in an earlier blog that you both were going to start looking for a place for Frank since your ex was getting concerned that soon he wouldn't be physically able to care for him.

    I know it's very emotional for you but like you said maybe it's best. It just came a little sooner than you expected.


    1650 days ago
    You're right this might be the best for both of them. I'm sure you're emotions are all over the place with this. Maybe a little screaming will help.
    1650 days ago
    I think that both trains of thought and feeling have merit.

    So maybe you should to a little screaming (to yourself) and some crying, and then see how it all works out.

    If the care home is a decent one, Frank should probably have more interaction with a variety of people than he was getting at home, which could be a very good thing for him.

    That is a hard decision for anybody, but often it is good for all involved when looked at in hindsight. That doesn't make it one bit easier in the present, though.

    I hope that things will all work out for you and yours.

    1650 days ago
    what to write hope it all turns out for the bst
    1650 days ago
  • LINDA!
    1650 days ago
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