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The BIG Picture

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Sometimes looking at the BIG picture can place a damper on your efforts...even if it's just for a short time.

Yesterday I had a conversation with someone at the office that proceeded to tell me how his wife started running and has enjoyed it because of the weight she had lost. The rest of the conversation took on a tone of, "If you move more you could lose some weight too." hmmmm...i'm good at NOT lashing out, biting my tongue and being polite. So i just refocused on his wife and what a great accomplishment she's been making.


As the meeting began i started to play a slide show in my thoughts...

This person sees me everyday. Sometimes when you see someone everyday you don't notice the gradual changes they are making in themselves or the changes that are happening to their body.

BUT i did start looking at the ultimate BIG picture for me.

My weight goal is 169lbs - which is still at least 30lbs heavier than any chart or doctor will say i should be at for my height. BUT i'm ok with that...169 is my goal. I currently sit at 258lbs even as of last Tuesday (tonight is my official weigh-in). That means i still have 89lbs to drop to reach my goal. I'm lost 62lbs to date.

sigh...i need to lose MORE than what i've already lost...almost 1.5x more than what i've already lost!

Here's the thing...

From Thanksgiving 2011 to August 2012 I lost roughly 53lbs. Then i took a LONG break...i still worked out, i just stopped caring about what i ate. Then towards the end of August 2013 i decided to refocus. This is NOT the body i want to live in the rest of my life. Since then i'm down 14.6lbs (I gained a few pounds over that LONG break).

I'm making the effort because there is so much more that i want out of life and i FEEL that my weight is holding me back. The reality is that i'm ALLOWING it to hold me back. It's easy to hide behind the excuse of the weight. I've done it my entire life.

So yesterday i felt a bit defeated looking out at that BIG picture...that dream goal...and all i wanted to do was drive towards home, stop and pick up some pizza and veg out on the couch.

Did i do that?

Hell no!

I ended up passing through Subway to pickup my favorite sandwich (steak, egg and pepper jack cheese on flat bread with jalapeƱos and tomatoes). Then i went home and did my second workout of the day. After a while i decided i wanted to try something else. So i popped in a DVD and did some kettlebell work.

There's something about sweat dripping down your face and chest that puts a HUGE smile on my heart.


Because i KNOW i'm taking the steps i need to continue on with my journey.

Do i always feel like working out? NO

But i do it anyways because i know i'll feel better afterwards.

Funny how things change. It used to be that when i was feeling down i would just eat and veg out and cry. But i've been learning to replace that with simply putting on my workout clothes and making sure i get a good sweat going.

It's not easy...

I was talking with a friend last night and she's training for her first half marathon. She started talking about how she needs to start committing herself to the training schedule. She finds that her boyfriend, family and just hanging out with friends tends to take up that time.

I started laughing...

I asked her, "when do we see each other?" She said, "when we walk or run or go to the gym." I laughed again...i told her that I make sure we keep up our friendship by working her into my training. I did tell her that it gets tough.

I skip out on many dinners with friends because i know i need to be in bed by a certain time. I miss my singles Bible studies because it goes until 10 or 11pm and i need to be in bed early to get up at 3:30am. I miss all sorts of events because i need to be dedicated to my training. BUT you keep up with the rest of your life by including them. I invite almost everyone i know to join me in every race that i complete. I invite friends on my training walks. I invite friends to the gym with me.

Here's the thing i told her...for so long we've placed EVERYONE else above our own needs. It's time we take care of ourselves, make ourselves proud, and in turn we end up being a better friend or people to others.

BUT if you don't train you'll pay for it out on the road.

The BIG picture...ha!

I prefer to break it down into monthly goals.

I used to have monthly weight loss goals, but those never work. So i focus on fitness goals and nutritional goals.

The scale may not always agree with my efforts but my heart sure is happy. And because of that, that voice in my head that likes to torment me gets a little quieter every day.

I need to love that person that stares back at me in the mirror. I used to avoid her. She made me so sad all the time. She was depressed, she was lonely and she was scared. But now when i look in the mirror i see someone that is getting stronger everyday. I see someone that almost always has a smile on her face. I see a warrior fighting to create a better life for herself.

So that BIG picture is on the horizon some day...but for now i'm enjoying the daily grind of knowing i am making better choices.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Great blog! Great attitude! You are really doing it! NICE JOB!!!
    1952 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
    emoticon emoticon
    1952 days ago
    so proud of you vickie love.keep on keeping on you are doing great. emoticon
    1952 days ago
    emoticon plan! emoticon
    1952 days ago
  • ANDI1984
    You have a wonderful outlook on the big picture and on life. It's awesome that you're including your friends and family in your exercises when they are willing.
    1952 days ago
    You have your FOCUS!
    1952 days ago
  • ABAKER34
    Great blog! Keep up the great work and pushing towards your finish line!
    1953 days ago
  • MIRAGE727
    I see commitment & perseverance! I know what that leads to! I also know the effects of short & midterm goals! You realize dreams, goals, and success! Stay strong, Girl & keep rockin'!
    1953 days ago
  • TREE57
    Now that's what I'm talking about! emoticon emoticon

    This is the blog of a warrior. You have figured it out! WAY TO GO! I'm so proud of YOU!

    I love the new photo....I can see such a transformation!

    1953 days ago
    Way to go!!!! I know the feeling of just wanting to sit and watch TV, it takes a lot sometimes to just put on the workout clothes and get moving, but boy when you are done there is such a sense of accomplishment.

    I just got done coaching a football team that my son wasn't even on. It was a favor for a friend. Told that friend as the season was winding down that I wasn't going to do it again. I've placed too many people in front of my own needs and my son and it has to change. I try to get up at least three times a week to run and I haven't done that in a long time due to the fact that I don't get to bed till almost midnight. Well 5 am comes way too early and only 5 hours of sleep doesn't help me at all even if I did drag my butt out of bed.

    Keep up the good work, it's hard not to get sucked into the "Big Picture" but know you are doing good by you. And including your friends is great too. I try and do this as well and it hasn't worked out for me. But at least I give them a chance to change their lifestyle and to hang out with me while doing it. It's up to them to make that move though.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1953 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/15/2013 9:52:04 AM
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