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More than polite dinner conversation

Monday, October 14, 2013

I'm feeling pretty emotionally vulnerable today, but in a good way. DH and I went out for supper with my brother and SIL last night. At the table, my brother and I had the best conversation of our lives (I know that this sounds sort of Pollyanna-ish, but I'm not exaggerating here). We had a real conversation about how we grew up, how our difficult mother made huge impacts on each of us, how we (including our dad) were pushed apart by her needs (and manipulations)...(well I can't say enough about how important this conversation was, you'll just have to believe me).

I'm more anxious than usual this AM, but I'm emotionally secure enough to know that I'm processing a lot of important information and "baggage". I'm feeling hopeful and lucky and trusted and LOVED. Like a small breakthrough has occurred. Whew.

Sending this out to the community as a way to remind us all that surprising, wonderful things can happen any day! I wish for us all love and kindness to each other and ourselves.
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    1677 days ago
    Sounds like a wonderful catharsis... children can carry wounds into adulthood, and you are exorcising them with someone who went through it with you...

    Well done!
    1679 days ago
    Fantastic! I fantasize about such a conversation with my brother. We skirt the issue sometimes. He has a daughter who is growing up so differently than we were raised, and we joke about her good fortune compared to ours, but we never take it to a serious level. I would like to someday. Thank you so much for sharing. There is hope -- and time!
    1679 days ago
    I am happy for you you experienced an epiphany while talking with your dear brother. Together you are healing from damage your Mom did to you years ago. I can see that the conversation was so valuable to you and I assume your brother too. Growing up with an alcoholic father, it was years after his death that my sister and I had similar conversations with more than just a few break through moments together.

    Thanks for opening up with going through your emotions you experienced during and after such a key discussion with your brother. I hope as you continue to heal from the mental abuse cause by your Mom, you find joy!
    1679 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/16/2013 7:56:39 AM
    Thank you for sharing such a difficult topic. I certainly understand how important that was for you. Sometimes enough time has to pass that we can step back a bit and look at our lives and the people and events that have shaped it...and know that it is up to us now to get rid of that baggage and move forward.

    I'm so glad to hear you have had such a weight lifted off your shoulders. How wonderful!
    1681 days ago
    Thank you for sharing...and, congrats on this momentous time between you and your brother. Now you and your brother can move forward with a lighter step in your hearts! What a blessing....
    1681 days ago
    1681 days ago
  • LETHA_
    Wonderful. I find that when my life is peaceful and calm its a good time to process old baggage. Sounds like you and your brother are in a good place.
    1681 days ago
    I am glad for you that you and your brother had this healing conversation. AS kids growing up we often feel so much responsibility for what goes on in our family home! Too young to realize it's not our fault, not our responsibility. That definitely impacts us forever! But you're doing the healing to deal with it. Proud that you and your broither had a good conversation. May there be many more.
    1681 days ago
    One day, it can happen for us all.

    We just need to figure out how to let go of the 'past'

    1681 days ago
  • JANET552
    1681 days ago
    I am rejoicing with & for you due to the breakthrough the good Lord allowed you (& hopefully your brother) - may you rest in the uniquely comforting arms of our Creator as you continue to process & receive emotional healing.

    God bless!
    1681 days ago
    Brava, that's great! How did you start? I'd love to have a conversation like that with my only brother someday. He shut himself off from meaningful interaction with our family a long time ago, and polite conversation is the only thing anyone gets out of him.
    1681 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/14/2013 10:51:14 AM

    This conversation was a real gift to you, and it is so totally understandable that you would have uncomfortable feelings this morning. Just keep processing, and if you don't mind my saying, coming from a household filled with high drama and secrets and lies,
    try to allow yourself to envision that your mother was actually doing the best that she could, though her parenting was a huge fail and many suffered.

    Love, Ginger
    1681 days ago
  • RURAL3
    1681 days ago
    A very fruitful conversation indeed.

    emoticon emoticon
    1681 days ago
    1681 days ago
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