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Silver Linings.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

I made my friends take so many photos of me yesterday, out hiking through a local park in my awesome new Scouting Legion hoodie. It looks so good!

Bit-by-bit I'm catching up on sleep and I'm happy to get a few miscellaneous tasks done today like emails and read the latest Attack on Titan chapter and watering the herbs. Soon I need to bring them inside.

My workout didn't happen today as planned and I'll have to make it up later. I might break out the bike trainer instead of hitting the gym for a treadmill walk/run.

It's still a challenge to make exercise a day-to-day part of my life. Starting out I learned how to overdo exercise, going at it 7 days/week to burn 500 calories per workout. Of course then I hit maintenance and needed to find how to stop losing. At one point I was able to consider any movement like errands or running tasks to be exercise and still maintain.

Then I started eating more (about 100-300 calories per day) and light errands didn't cut it. If I want to eat what I eat, I need to always work out in a regular fashion.

It's just difficult; I get bored with exercise. I keep switching as I become interested in different types of cardio, related to my ability to multitask during the activity and how many calories I would burn. Wii Fit I could work out during and watch TV. Then biking I could even accomplish errands outside, or I could set up the bike trainer and watch TV. Right now running/walking on the treadmill or on the elliptical at the gym I can watch TV and read. I like doing that because during a workout is typically the only time in my day I have for actually watching TV and reading.

And I must say, strength training is the ultimate bore. It's just do a few reps rotating through many machines to burn maybe a few extra calories. There's no where in there that I can multitask and watch TV or read, and those are the incentive I need to keep working out.

Yoga is good not only for my mind but also my flexibility, but the classes are not conveniently scheduled to be able to fit into my day. I work at 6am, 8am, or 9am depending on the day, workout in the afternoon, come home to make dinner, do laundry, menu plan, and then work until midnight or 1am. Sleep, repeat. Off on Saturdays, usually to spend time with friends.

I also want to attend martial arts classes, but the same issue makes it impossible right now.

Sometimes I can also get excited about a new cardio regime because I'm training to participate in an event, like a 5K. But not very often since I'm already in pretty good condition, enough so to be able to run such events without a great deal of advance training.

I just keep getting bored and I can't stick with anything. This is why exercise must be a job for me, a set obligation that I have to account for. It's a work in progress, but identifying the underlying obstruction helps me attain a true solution.

This is the same for when I binge. Binging is a problem, it happens with regularity and is something I have been working on to varying success. At one point I was able to prevent binging by asking myself whether I would feel better or worse if I ate what I was seeking to put in my mouth just then. That solution is no longer working which is understandable because it didn't necessarily identify and attack the underlying cause.

I think I have stumbled on that just this weekend by discovering there are different varieties of binge eating. It sounds obvious yet it's never quite examined in a way that I've been able to discern. Instead there is a focus on binging in general such as how to identify and deal with it, as well as emotional eating specifically.

None of which actually has helped me deal with my form of binging: stress eating. When I need to work but it is stressful I escape by making food and eating. Then I feel more stressed, so I eat more, adding more stress and more of a need to hide behind the act of eating and continue to avoid actually dealing with the original source of stress.

Maybe the information about this cycle of avoidance through eating is already out there and I just wasn't yet in a place to recognize it. But now I have been able to understand it as the culprit in order to help myself better.

Granted much of the act of binging is nurtured by the toxic chemicals of addiction, but at least in knowing the trigger I can potentially head off a new cycle before it gets that far.

Looking for those underlying causes can be hard, we have to break down our defenses and really own up to our mistakes. But there's a silver lining, letting us understand the problem and giving us the weapons we need to effectively fight back.

It's good I've found this during a time when I greatly need it. The holiday season is amping up with work on top of online meetings on top of tutoring on top of workouts on top of movie parties, 5Ks, pumpkin carving parties, mozzarella making class, pie making plans, and car repairs. That's just for October and November, December will probably be even more nuts.

I'll keep doing my best!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    1608 days ago
    I do the same thing... binge from stress. It's the most difficult thing in the world to conquer, and I have yet to accomplish it. I hope you get through it, because I definitely know how it feels. We can do it!
    1655 days ago
  • KANOE10
    I think you are correct about bingeing being a cycle of avoidance. Finding the original source of stress would be helpful. I also think you are right about the addiction factor and staying away from trigger foods. I have stopped bingeing by removing the binge foods from my life for 3 years. I do have substitutes that satisfy me. Good luck on the holiday season that is filled with challenges. I also watch tv on the elliptical. Have you tried the lateral machine? It is a good change for me.

    I know you will do well, Spark Friend!

    1655 days ago
  • BILL60
    Hang in there!!
    1655 days ago
    It's all a work in progress, isn't it? I'm going through similar processes to try and find out some things about myself. Best of luck to you.
    1655 days ago
    Keep on keeping on! Figuring out the binge triggers and finding an equally rewarding method of coping with the triggers is a very important thing. I wish you success.
    1655 days ago
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