A is for apple, and B is for boat, . . .
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before Beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.
Now The New "Senior" Alphabet:
A's for arthritis;
B's the bad back,
C's the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for farting and fluid retention,
G is for gut droop, which I'd rather not mention.
H high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L's for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!
P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.
W is for worry, now what's going 'round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y is for another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest I still have--- in my mind!