F You Negative Self Talk
Wednesday, October 09, 2013
I have been fighting negative self talk love. Maybe Martin Luther King Jr. was right: "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." Maybe...but then again, saying "f you" to things that stand in my way, especially donuts, cupcakes, and myself seems to work right now.
I have been training for the Spartan Sprint and my limitations have been really frustrating. I should be grateful for all the amazing things my body CAN do and is learning to do, but I get hung up on not being able to do real pushups or run for longer than a half mile without stopping. I think the thing that bothers me most is that I believe I CAN achieve those feats, but this little whiney voice inside my head says, "ugh! I can't!" and I LISTEN! Why do I listen? I guess I am just so used to listening.
My friend wants to do the Biggest Loser version of the Spartan Race. The obstacles are optional and it is fifty dollars cheaper. Part of me feels more motivated by the real deal, but then that low self esteem chimes in and says that I would be better off doing this modified version. Then again with my pitiful training so far, I might not be ready for the real deal.
I also am wicked behind with grading and work stuff. Like unbelievably behind. It is so terrible. I don't even know why I'm adding the working out...but then again, I'm glad I'm making it a priority.
Weigh in day is tomorrow and I don't think I'm under 200 still. I just feel heavy. I continue to eat the yogurt and peanut butter dessert on a daily basis, and instead of stopping when it ran out, I bought more. The Fage was still on sale...sooooo...
I have been logging my calories and it is so easy to go over. It's no wonder I'm overweight.
This was meant to change my perspective and make me more positive, but I think I just need to go to bed.