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Trying to get myself back together...

Tuesday, October 08, 2013

Today has been my first good day in a while, and it was sorely needed. Days would start off well and end poorly, day after day. My mojo had disappeared and I couldn't seem to find it. Hate when that happens!

Anyway, today has been good. I slept late, as has been habit lately, but I did manage to get going on the right foot. I had a healthy breakfast, and the big one... resigned myself to cooking! That has been one of my biggest problems: Refusal to cook. I kept getting food from fast food places, and I don't think I have to say much about how that has "helped" my diet. Accepting my fate of cooking pretty much got everything going right. I didn't make a big fancy healthy feast... Helper and steamed veggies... but it was a HUGE improvement over a burger and fries. For the first time in a while, I still had calories left after dinner!

Then I did the BIGGUN! I went for a walk! I asked dh if he would go with me to the park and walk and he said he would. It was such a gorgeous day, just perfect for being outside. We walked 35 minutes... and the best part... I WASN'T EXHAUSTED! I definitely felt like I had worked out, but compared to the last few times I tried working out, it was a night and day difference. I felt GOOD at the end. Like... WHOO HOO I DID SOMETHING AWESOME!... as opposed to... OMG I'M GOING TO DIE!... it was a very nice surprise! I'm sill not sure what caused the terrible exhaustion, nor am I sure what I have done to make it abate, but I am thankful. Now that my last experience with working out was a good one, it will hopefully not be nearly so hard to get myself going again. Like... tomorrow.

The only other thing going on around here is a really messed up sleep schedule. I can't seem to fall asleep at night and end up being awake ridiculously late, then I sleep ridiculously late, wash and repeat. I have always tended toward being a night owl, but I have been fighting my nocturnal nature fairly successfully for several years now. It would seem I am starting to lose the battle. Unfortunately I'm not up doing whatever fun things I used to do that kept me up til dawn {read: chain smoking and something to amuse myself between cigarettes|, I'm trying to sleep, and failing. Dh works nights now, so I'm home alone, and that doesn't start things off very well to begin with. And from there, the entire process just falls apart. I've gone back to my old habit of playing true crime show after true crime show until I finally fall asleep. And as anyone that knows me will attest... that is NOT normal behavior for me. I very rarely watch tv at all {except football and political news.} So for me to turn the tv on, for hours, means something is not right at all. Right now I'm hanging my hopes for getting back on track on getting more exercise. I'm hoping that when I get my ass out there and move move move during the day, it will help me fall asleep earlier, and eventually I will be normal again. I swear my body fights me on every front possible!

And let me say, thank you again and again for the comments on my blogs and messages. I really do seriously consider everything that is suggested to me, and sometimes those suggestions turn into something wonderful. So thank you, for reading and for commenting. Just knowing I'm not alone is worth the laptop's weight in gold.

I hope everyone's week is off to a great start!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • JO88BAKO
    Where are you? emoticon
    1711 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    Glad to hear you went for a walk and had a better day! I hope you have a great weekend.
    1713 days ago
  • BRADMILL2922
    Glad that you had a good day and I hope that you are getting back on the right track. It is so easy to fall into that fast food trap and never come out so good for you for doing that! Keep pushing!
    1714 days ago
  • JO88BAKO
    Hi! Glad to see you posted today. Sounds like you had a good day, awesome. That's great you are working on the cooking. Glad you had a nice walk. Hope tomorrow is a good one for you too!!
    1715 days ago
    Happy to hear you had a good day. may it be one of a long streak of them :)
    1715 days ago
    So proud of you! You keep pushing and don't give you! You rock!
    1715 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    stir fry and crockpots can be your best friends..

    dishes and laundry can be done at night, organizing drawers, or making a gift list for holidays, gives you that time with hubby when he wakes up,, to go to the park..
    THat 35 minute walk really got you pumped up!! Great!!
    1715 days ago
  • SAM_I_AM_2K
    SO glad you had a good day! And what wonderful successes too! Exercise AND cooking! That would be a good day for me too emoticon
    Keep up the great work! emoticon
    1715 days ago
    Glad to hear you're still trying. To me it sounds like you're a bit depressed. I can't honestly say for sure, but it kind of sounds like it. It happens to me quite often. Something that might help you with the sleep thing is try some chamomile tea sweetened with honey before bed. It helps relax the nervous system and helps you relax to sleep. One of my favorites. Another thing you can try is Melatonin. But if you have a history of blood clots like me, it's not a smart idea. But if you're fine on that end, it's something to try. Just take half of a pill of the ones they usually sell. Studies have shown that the 5mg that they tend to sell is too much. So, hope all this helps.
    1716 days ago
  • MARYBETH4884
    Glad to hear you are moving forward!

    Even the simplist home cooking is better than fast food. Quick and easy is the microwave steam able veggies and chicken. Even the ones with pasta or rice aren't too bad calorie wise. Cook the veggies and sauté some chicken breast, add the veggies to the saute pan with a little seasoning of choice or soy sauce. Quick, easy, filling and best of all one pan cleanup! I love to cook, but hate the clean up!

    Just keep moving at you own speed and it will make a difference!

    Hope today is a healthier day too!
    1716 days ago
    Congrats on the cooking! I know for people who dont like to cook, starting can be scary. So like everything - baby steps! Now me - I cook, and love to bake - evil downfall! But start slow- its gets easier and more fun. Somehwere here on the site is a great article about spices. Once you get the basicsdown - check it out. Spices are the healthy cooks very best friend.
    Now - Sleep. I feel for ya. Im like youre dh - I work midnights too which means my sweet loving wife is home by herself a couple nights a week. Thankfully I work at home 2 nights of the 5, so its not too bad :-) Anyway - shes got issues sleeping as well. Shes up late, and has to get up around 6 or 7 most weekdays to get kids ready and off to school. One of the things she found was that the nights she does meditation exercises she sleeps a LOT better and falls asleep easier. We've got an xbox with kinect, and a game called Leela. Bizzare game- but its all about meditative poses, breathing excercises, body chakra alignment, etc. But its very caling, soothing, and helps you wind your body down, and helps you get to sleep a bit easier. The other thing you can try is to take melatonin about an hour before you go to bed.They make it in a variety of doses, and its all natural, not like taking most sleep aids which can be additcive or have dyphenhyrdamine (Benadryl). Watch what you eat/drink about 3 hours before bed - that can prevent/hinder falling asleep as well.

    ;-) keep the mojo flowing!
    1716 days ago
    I am happy you had a good day!
    1716 days ago
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