TKAYSMILES
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my story

Monday, October 07, 2013

Our challenge this week was to tell a bit of our story! Here is the short version!

OK I have always been the fat chunky girl. Can't remember not being overweight! My mom always sent mixed messages I think. On one hand bribing me with money or clothes to lose weight but she was also the one that insisted I eat everything on my plate or I'd sit there till I did. She was also the one constantly saying "you'd be so pretty if you lost 20 pounds"! Really difficult to have good self esteem with that in your ears all the time. BTW my mom weighs maybe 100 pounds her whole life so never has had to know the difficulty with weight issues.

Diets after diet after diet up and down and up and down. Skinny and fat forever. Pretty much gave up for awhile. But really was always missing the being healthy part. It was always about being skinny.

Then almost 4 years ago we went to vegas. I had a hard time getting around and keeping up. Couldn't walk up stairs. Had to take the escalator or elevator or the train. Anything but actual walking or stairs. But i wasnt fully convinced yet. Really ended up getting into a fight with my bf about not working out or taking care of myself because he had actually started a few months before. So to show him i decided yo walk one day. Well 1/2 mile later I thought i was going to die. Knew then I really needed to change things. I realized I didn't want to be the lady in the motorized cart getting around Walmart or not having energy to play with my future grand kids. Something had to change!

I started slowly. Walking and some Wii. Did some yoga too. Dropped weight pretty good at first. Then the difficulty started. Keeping it off and trying to lose more. It has not been easy. The last several years have still been a battle.

The real change is mental. Its not about getting skinny. It's about being healthy. I might never get to skinny again but that's ok. I want to be healthy and fit. I want muscles instead of flab! I have ups and downs but that's ok. I'll just keep on going. It never ends and it can be tiring but I am worth it!! I only wish I had discovered how awesome being healthy is much sooner!!

So I will continue to strive for fit and fabulous!! Might never get there completely but it is a great journey!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • TWNOMWE
    emoticon Fit and healthy tramps skinny any time.
    1829 days ago
  • BMCOLLEY
    That is a prideful thing to get past the confusing messages your mother was sending you. You were very fortunate to have had the boyfriend. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1859 days ago
  • BARBSDUCK
    You GO girl!

    I've got a similar story with my mother overfeeding me, and then pushing me to lose weight. My favorite (not) comment she would make is "you were such a beautiful baby," as if somehow I wasn't still beautiful because I was fat.

    We are beautiful -- and HEALTHY is the BEST!
    1864 days ago
  • CRYSTLE4HIMTX12
    I vote for healthy also. emoticon
    1865 days ago
  • LMB-ESQ
    Yup, skinny is definitely overrated. And our whole society sends mixed messages. We look at skinny girls in magazines and on TV and ask, "Geez, does she even weigh 10 lbs? She has no muscles! She looks sick!" And that's what our little girls have to look at. I like that I'm developing muscles. I'm never going to be skinny. But I can be strong and healthy!
    1865 days ago
  • LIZZYP609
    well said terri! I don't try to be skinny, I live for the days that I glimpse myself in the mirror and say. Wow, not bad. Not bad at all. Doesn't happen everyday but it has happened more in the last 4 weeks then ever before!
    I am soo happy to have you as a friend to take this journey with!
    1865 days ago
  • SCOTIANRUNNER
    Skinny IS overrated. I'd much rather be healthy and full of self confidence knowing my body can do what I want it to.

    1866 days ago
  • FITFRIT
    Skinny is overrated anyway, I'd rather be healthy!
    1866 days ago
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